Wallflower 2

Chapter 122

(Jade's P.O.V)
*a week later*
Taylor has been pretty distant these past few days and I'm super worried. He's been quiet and be rarely stops at the house anymore and I've become sadder. He barely answers my texts or calls and I don't know why. I'm driving over to his house right now. I knocked on the door and Matt answered.
"Hey baby girl. Taylor's upstairs. He hasn't been himself lately so you should check on him." Matt said.
I hugged Matt and kissed his cheek. I walked upstairs to Taylor's room and knocked.
No answer.
I knocked again and I got no answer.
"Tay, it's me. Open up." I said and I heard nothing.
I opened the door and Taylor was laying in bed on his side. His eyes were shut and his cheeks looked damp. I sighed and shut the door. I walked over to him and stroked his cheek.
"Wake up baby." I whispered and Taylor's eyes opened.
Taylor saw me and rolled over.
"You've been avoiding me all week. What did I do?" I asked but Taylor didn't answer me.
I'm so upset right now because he's been ignoring me.
"Taylor, answer me." I demanded.
No reply.
"Taylor. What did I do?" I asked a my voice cracked.
Silence was the only thing there.
I few tears fell down my face and I sniffled.
"I'll just go." I said and turned around.
"We're not meant to be together." Taylor croaked.
"What?" I turned back around.
"We're not meant to be together. I always hurt you. Can't you see that? I'm such a dick and I don't deserve you. Go find someone who can make you happy." Taylor faced me and his face was soaked with tears.
"You make me happy." I said and walked towards his bed.
"No, I make you miserable." Taylor said.
I climbed into his bed and kissed his lips.
"I love you." I whispered into the kiss.
"I love you more." Taylor whispered back.
I smiled and he pulled me into his chest.
"Tay, do you really think we should see other people?" I asked and he sighed.
"Sometimes I think we shouldn't see each other yes, but other times I want to be with you." Taylor said.
"What should we do then?" I asked and Taylor's grip on me got lose.
"I think you'd be better off without me, but I know I'd be miserable without you." Taylor said.
"That's not true. I wouldn't be better off without you. If anything I'd be miserably as well." I said.
Taylor pulled me close to him again and I buried my head in his neck.
"I can't live without you. You're my everything, but I hurt you." Taylor said.
"I'm getting the feeling that you think we should see other people." I sighed.
"I don't know what to think right now. I just want you to have a man that deserves you. I don't deserve you at all. Maybe we should see other people. We're not dating but I think you should try to date someone else." Taylor said.
My heart broke into millions of pieces. I didn't know how to respond. Taylor normally isn't like this. What's going on? He probably won't tell me so what's the point. I'm just stunned.
"O-okay. I understand." I said and got off Taylor's chest.
Taylor stood up.
"I will always love you okay? Never ever forget that. Find a man that will treat you better. Even if we were dating I'd be a bad boy friend so find a better guy. I love you Jade Elizabeth." Taylor said.
"I'll always love you too Tay." I said and my voice cracked a little.
Taylor pulled me to him and shushed me. He stroked my hair and I wrapped my small arms around him.
"You'll find someone better baby I promise. I love you and I'll always be thinking of you. We'll stay close friends though." Taylor said.
"I love you too." I whispered.
Taylor lifted my head up and kissed me passionately. It was the best kiss ever and lasted at least 15 seconds. Taylor pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I looked him in the eyes and I could see tears forming in them. I kissed him one last time, then left. I walked out of Taylor's room and shut his door. I slowly walked downstairs with tears in my eyes. I saw Matt with Jack G, Nash, and Shawn. Matt saw me and rushed towards me.
"Baby girl what happened?" Matt asked bad cupped my face.
"H-he said we should see new people because he wasn't good for me." I said.
"I'm so sorry." Matt said and hugged me tightly.
He rubbed my back and the rest of the boys came over and group hugged.
"We love you Jade." Nash said.
"I love you guys too." I said and they pulled away.
I walked outside and to my car. I drove back to my house and tears rushed down my face. As I stepped inside my house, the boys were here with Andrea and Acacia. Dom was here as well. Ugh.
"What happened?" Andrea asked as she rushed towards me.
"Nothing. It's fine." I said.
"Tell me what happened right now." Andrea demanded and it kind of startled me.
"Taylor said we should see new people because he's not good for me and doesn't deserve me but we'd stay close friends." I said.
"I'm so sorry baby girl." Acacia and Andrea hugged me.
"I told you not to be with him but you didn't listen. You never listen to me and now you're heart broken. You shouldn't even be upset, it's not like you guys were a couple anyway. " Sam said.
"Sam stop." Kian said.
"No. She never listens to me! She's so stupid for believe Taylor's lies and she's stupid for loving him! I know what's best for her and getting Taylor out of her life completely is best!" Sam shouted.
"Shut up Samuel! I don't need this right now! You don't know what's best for me at all! Taylor keeps me strong unlike you! You're the one who needs to get out of my life completely, not Taylor! I'm sick of you trying to be what you call 'protective'! You know absolutely nothing so stop getting involved in my life! I just want you out of my life and I'll cut you out of my life like I did Dom!" I screamed. Tears slipped down my cheeks like water when you get out of the shower. I'm so angry, hurt, and upset right now. I know I didn't mean it when I said I wanted Sam to leave my life but do you expect when someone tells you that you're stupid for loving someone. I went up to my room and slammed my door like a 13 year old, mad at the world. I locked the door and went to my bed and flopped down onto it. I started to bawl my eyes out and my phone was going off from texts. I unlocked my phone and went my messages.
Matt- are you okay baby girl? Kian texted me and told me what happened.
Jack G- Jade, it's going to be okay. We all love you♡
Nash- Its going to be okay beautiful. Jc texted me and told me what happened so I'm checking up on you. I love you little girl <3
Taylor- I'm sorry about what happened with Sam. I really am. He overreacted and I'm so sorry.
Shawn- Don't worry pretty girl. Sam's just frustrated but he'll calm down eventually. He loves you since he's your brother and I don't think he meant what he said. Sending lots of hugs and love!
I shut off my phone but I couldn't stop crying. I just want Sam out of my life now because I'm so angry. He hurt me almost as much as Dom. I think I should tell you what happened with Dom.
When I had sex with that guy I mentioned before, Dom heard about it since word got around you know and he was angry. He started yelling at me, telling me I was so stupid for trusting that guy, and stuff. We ended fighting about everything and he mention my cutting. I remember exactly what he had said.
*flashback*
"You're so stupid Jade Elizabeth Pottorff!" Dom yelled at me.
"It wasn't my fault Dominic so calm down!" I yelled back.
We've been fighting for the past hour. We kept fighting but then he mentioned a touchy subject.
"You're going to go upstairs and cut aren't you? You always cut for stupid reasons. I've been trying to look out for you but you're so stubborn and bitchy. Go cut then. See if I care anymore." Dom said and test slipped down my face.
*end of flashback*
He hurt me pretty bad and I haven't forgave him and I'm not sure if I ever will. It happened years ago but I still can't let it go.
Anyway, I just kept crying. I got out of my bed and walked to my dresser where I saw pictures of Taylor and I. There was many pictures that are now just memories and stories to tell. My favorite picture is the one of Taylor and I cuddling in bed. I have lots of photos of us together and I love all of them to be honest. I have the stuffed animal that Taylor got me a few weeks ago on my bed. I have the promise ring that he gave me a few months back on my finger. He promised me that he'll always love me and he's never leave and I promised the same thing. He did leave though. He wanted to be with me but now he's forgotten everything and left. I stared at the ring, debating whether or not I should take it off or not. I slipped off the ring and tears poured down my face even more as I set it on my dresser. I just want to run away. I can go to my place and just let myself be alone. That's what I'll do. I'll go to the place I used to go to in middle school and high school when I was upset. I grabbed a duffle bag and put clothes, a pair of shoes, my hair brush, and more in it. I slipped my black vans on and grabbed my car keys. I opened my balcony door and stepped outside. I shut the two doors. I climbed down the balcony and to the ground. I saw Sam look out the window with tears falling down his face. When he saw me he ran to the door. I rushed into my car and he ran outside.
"I'm sorry Jade! Please don't leave!" he yelled but I drove off.
I sped down the street with tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them away and drove to my place. There's two of them actually. One is close and the other one is a little farther but not far away. I pulled into a parking spot and got out of my car. It's about 6 pm now. I sat down at the two tombstones and talked.
"I know I haven't been here in a while and I'm super sorry. Things have been hell for me." I began.
*one hour later*
When I finished telling my parents everything, I went to the next place. It was another cemetery. I got out of my car when I arrived and sat down at the tombstone. It's now 8:45 pm.
"Hey Natalie. I've missed you so much. I haven't stopped in a while and I'm so sorry. I've been through lots of shit lately. Basically, I'm in love with a guy named Taylor and he loves me back and he's hurt me many times by dating other girls. He just told me about an hour ago that we should see other people. We weren't dating though. We never were. We've been on a few days but he never made it official. It's killing my Nat. I got home today and saw the pictures of Taylor and I that are not just memories, and stories to tell. I hate this life without you. You stuck by me all these years and you left me when we were only sophomores. Half into our year and you couldn't take it anymore. It's been almost 4 years since you left me and it's been hell. Things do get better Nat, but you didn't realize it. I tried to save you. I actually saved you 4 times, but the on the 5th time, I wasn't there. I was asleep when you sent me the message and I got it when I woke up. I was horrified when I ran to your house and saw you in your room, hanging there. Your mom wasn't there. I remember the song you sent me. It was called her last words. I saw you hanging there by the rope. It was so hard and the image is permanently stuck in my head. I hate living without you. I've tried to kill myself Nat. I want to die." I said and tears poured down my face.
I sobbed violently alone.
"W-why did you leave me? I n-need you!" I yelled through sobs.
I felt someone touch my shoulder and I jumped.
"H-how did you know I was here?" I asked.
"You always came here when you were upset. I know you Jade. Now, come here." Kian said and held open his arms.
I stood up and Kian hugged me. I sobbed into his chest as he held me.
"Sam's super upset for what he did. He didn't mean anything he said." Kian said.
"I hate him." I cried.
"No you don't. Sam's your brother." Kian said.
"I miss Nat." I said.
"Me too. She was so nice to you and she didn't deserve anything bad that happened to her." Kian said.
"How long have you been here?" I asked.
"I got here about 10 minutes ago. You've been here for at least an hour already." Kian replied.
"Let's get you back to the house and you can talk it out with Sam okay? Well, we're going to the Magcon house." Kian said.
"I don't want to talk to Sam tonight but I'll go to the Magcon house." I said and Kian nodded.
We got into our cars and drove to the Magcon house. When I got to the house, Matt hugged me tightly. A few tears fell down my cheeks but Matt wiped them away.
"Let's go up to bed in a few minutes okay?" Matt said and I nodded.
"I'm so sorry Jade." Sam said.
"Save it. I'm not in the mood." I said and Sam looked hurt.
Taylor grabbed my hand and hugged me.
"I'm sorry Jade Elizabeth." Taylor said.
"Don't be. You want to stay friends and that's fine." I said.
"I don't want to stay friends but you'll be better without me." Taylor said.
"I already told you I'd be miserable without you but oh well. I'm just going to bed. Goodnight everyone." I said and began to walk upstairs.
"Jade wait-" I cut Taylor off.
"Goodnight Taylor." I said.
He looked hurt but what can I do? Run up to him and kiss him? We're friends now. I went to Matt's room and Matt followed me. I changed into a pair of sweats and Matt's jacket. I brushed my teeth and then went back to Matt's room. I climbed into bed and Matt wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Goodnight baby girl. Everything will be okay. I love you. You'll always be my best friend." Matt whispered.
"I love you too and you'll always be my best friend." I said and kissed Matt's cheek.
I slowly fell asleep in the darkness. When will my life end?
**
I updated and hopefully you guys like it.
Love you all!