Wallflower 2

Chapter 126

(Jade's P.O.V)
Taylor was holding me tightly. His head was on my chest and his arms were wrapped around my waist. I didn't mind laying here with him like this, but I don't know what it means. Yesterday we were arguing a little and I tried to kill myself but he saved me. Now, we're in my bed cuddling. It's all so confusing.
"What are you thinking about beautiful?" A voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Nothing." I said.
"Liar. You're laying here starring up at the ceiling so you're obviously thinking about something." Taylor said.
He laid his head back down on my stomach and wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. I liked how he was laying a lot. I felt safer like if someone bursted through my door with a gun I wouldn't feel as scared because Taylor was holding me.
"Tell me what you're thinking about." Taylor said and I sighed.
"Just a few weeks ago you were avoiding me and told me we should stay friends. Last night you saved my life and now here we are cuddling. What does this all mean? I'm sick of doing this Taylor. We fight then make up then fight again, and make up. It's like a never ending cycle. I want you. Can't you see that?" I said and Taylor sighed.
"I saved you because I love you." Taylor said.
"See. You say things like that to me and it confuses me." I said sadly.
"I'm going downstairs." Taylor's voice cracked and he got off of me.
I sighed as he walked out of my room. I brushed my teeth and went back to my room. I grabbed my guitar and began singing Autumn leaves by Ed Sheeran.
"Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you. Float down like autumn leaves and hush now close your eyes before sleep and you're miles away and yesterday you were here with me." I sang.
"Ooh how I miss you and i miss you and I wish you'd stay. Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you. Float down like autumn leave and hush now and close your eyes before the sleep and you're miles away and yesterday you were here with me." I sang a part of the song and began to cry.
(Song at the top but it won't play so you'll have to open it in the YouTube app :/)
God how could I be so stupid? I gave him everything and he left. I hate this so much. I set my guitar down in its place in the corner and stood up from my bed. I went to my wall of photos and looked at all of them. There was ones of Sam and I at a young age, ones with the O2L guys and I, ones of the girls and I, ones with the Magcon guys and I, and lastly, Taylor and I. I scanned each photo of Taylor and I carefully to see how happy we were. The photo of me on Taylor's back, kissing his cheek at the beach lingered in front of me. I took it carefully in my hand and smiled as tears rolled down my face. I still remember this day.
*flashback*
"Baabbyyy." Taylor said as he walked up to me.
"Yes Tay?" I replied and stood up from my towel.
"Can you take a picture with me?" Taylor asked and I smiled.
"Sure. Matt, will you take our picture?" I handed my phone to Matt.
I jumped on Taylor's back and pressed my lips to his cheek. I could feel cheeks getting hot and my lips connected to them. He smiled and Matt took the photo.
"You guys are so freaking cute." Matt smiled.
He handed me my phone and I sent Taylor the picture and he kissed my cheek.
"I love you Jade Elizabeth. You make me happy and I'm never letting you go." He smiled.
I smiled and turned his head and kissed his lips.
**
My smile faded and more tears fell down my face.
"They're just memories now." I whispered to myself and put the photo back on the wall. I stood there and covered my face with my hands. I started sobbing and I couldn't stop. You guys are probably getting sick of all of this drama with Taylor and some of you probably want me to just stop forgiving him but I love him. You can't just let someone you love go. When you love someone you can't fall asleep at night because finally reality is better than your dreams (I heard this somewhere but I forgot where) but my dreams are really better than reality. But nightmares are dreams too. I'm living my nightmare.
I just need a friend right now. That's all I need.
I slowly opened my door, tears still falling down my face. I walked down the stairs and everyone was sitting on the couch laughing. The Magcon guys were here as well and Taylor was still here. When everyone saw me they came towards me.
"I-I just want Acacia and Andrea." I stuttered.
Everyone looked to them and they walked upstairs with me to my room. We went into my room and I started sobbing again.
"Tell us what happened babe." Acacia said.
"W-we cuddled last night and I tried a-asking him about it earlier but he just said that he was going downstairs and that w-we'd talk later." I sobbed.
I left out the part about me attempting to kill myself. No one needs to know that besides Taylor and I.
"Come here Jade." Andrea and Acacia hugged me.
"We're here for you. Let's have a girls night tonight okay? We'll eat ice cream and watch movies until we pass out okay?" Andrea said and I nodded.
"Let's forget about boys tonight and have fun. Boys can screw off. Tonight is a girls night and no stupid boy can ruin that!" Acacia said and I laughed a little.
We heard a knock so Andrea let whoever it was in. It was Matt.
"So what happened?" Matt asked and Andrea told him everything.
"Can I be alone with her for a little bit?" Matt asked and the girls left.
Matt rushed towards me and hugged me tightly.
"I love you baby girl and I'm sorry for what's been happening. I feel so bad for you and words cannot describe how pissed I am at Taylor for hurting you like this. I'm beyond pissed but I'm going to comfort you before I step up to him." Matt said.
I buried. My head in the crook of his neck and kissed his jawline.
"I love you too Matty. Thanks for being here for me." I smiled.
"Anything for you." Matt said.
We walked downstairs together and I sat down on the couch with him.
"We're having a girls night tonight so you guys have to leave at 8." Andrea said.
"Damn sassy girl." Ricky snapped his fingers.
"What can I say." Andrea flipped her hair and we all laughed.
**
"See ya guys." I said as I hugged everyone.
"Bye Jack." I hugged Jack G.
"Bye beautiful. See you tomorrow." He smiled and I blushed.
I kissed his cheek and he blushed.
"Awww! I sense some crushes!" Carter yelled.
"Shut it Reynolds." Jack shot him a glare and I giggled.
I lastly hugged Matt.
"Bye Matt. I love you." I said.
"Bye baby girl. I love you too." Matt kissed my forehead and everyone left.
"Alright. Let's get the party started! First we have to go to the store to get ice cream and candy." Andrea said and us 3 girls pilled into her car.
Andrea drove to the store and we went inside. I got mint chocolate chip ice cream, Acacia got cookies and cream, and Andrea got plain chocolate. We walked down the candy isle and got gummy bears, chocolate bars, and more.
"How about we buy some chick flicks?" Acacia said and we all nodded.
We walked to the other side of the store where there was movies. We got the notebook, the vow, the fault in our stars, and titanic. We all pitched in and paid for everything, then went back to the house. We all changed into our comfy clothes and sat down.
"Are we all wearing our ex boyfriends clothes?" Andrea asked and I nodded.
We all started laughing. "Acacia's still dating Sam so she's wearing her boyfriends clothes. So I guess it's just you and I girl." Andrea and I high fived.
I was never dating Taylor but I guess he can be considered as an ex. I'm wearing Taylor's sweatshirt he gave me and a pair of spandex shorts, Andrea was wearing Kian's old stripped tank top and yoga shorts, and Acacia was wearing Sam's sweatshirt and yoga shorts as well.
"Let's start off out night by watching the notebook first and eating out ice cream." I said and we got our food and the movie.
**
We watched all of the movies and we were all an emotional wreck by the ends.
"I-Im going to bed. Night." I sniffled.
"Goodnight Jade." Andrea and Acacia said in sync.
I brushed my teeth and then went to my room. I climbed into bed and sighed. I wish Taylor was here laying next to me with his arms wrapped around me like he was this morning. I heard a rustle, then a crash. I sat up and turned on my light. There Taylor was, standing in my room. He got through the balcony.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I told you we'd talk later. Well, it's later." Taylor said.
"There's nothing to talk about anymore. You want to stay friends and that's perfectly fine. I don't even care anymore. I have no feelings for you at all anymore so just leave." I lied.
"That's a lie. You love me." Taylor said.
"I'm not lying now please exit my room." I said pointing to the door.
"I'm not leaving." Taylor said sternly.
"Yes you are. Leave my room Taylor. I don't like you at all and I'm angry at you. We're just friends so there's no point in trying anything so just leave." I said.
"No. I'm not leaving." Taylor sternly said.
"Then answer me. What are we?" I asked.
"I don't know. There's things you don't know. Things you don't want to know." Taylor said.
"I do want to know." I said.
"If I told you, it would ruin your image of me." Taylor said.
"We can only find out if you tell me." I said.
"I can't tell you okay?" Taylor said.
"We're suppose to tell each other everything Taylor. I tell you everything." I said.
"Oh really? Says the girl who kisses other guys and waits for me to find you guys myself." Taylor said.
"We were never dating!" I shouted.
"If we were never dating then why did you get so upset when I was with other girls huh?" Taylor yelled right back.
"I-I don't know okay! I love you and you fooled with other girls while I didn't go off to anyone!" I yelled.
"Then why did I come into the house that one night after we went to a club and find you and Nash cuddling?! Why did I find you and Gilinsky kissing outside? Why did I find you kissing anyone huh?!" Taylor yelled.
He normally doesn't yell like tho but I can tell he's upset.
"It only happened a few times! You went out with more girls! Why do you have to be such a jerk!" I yelled.
"I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend but I couldn't because-" Taylor stopped.
"Because what?!" I yelled.
"Never mind!" Taylor yelled.
"I'm fucking sick of this. You want to push me away, push me away! You want me out of your life, fine I'll leave!" I yelled.
"I don't want to push you away because I love you but it's just how it is!" Taylor yelled back.
"You don't have to fucking push me away and if you loved me you wouldn't be doing this right now! You'd be hugging and kissing me, telling me you're sorry but you don't! I'm so tired of this constant battle Taylor!" I yelled.
"I'm sick of fighting this constant battle too! You don't think that this is tiring for me!? All you're thinking about is yourself and how depressed you are! News flash you're not the only with with problems!" Taylor yelled.
Was I really that selfish? Did he mean anything he said?
"I don't focus on myself because I'm always focusing on other people! I put others before me so I can make sure everyone else is happy!" I yelled.
My door opened and revealed an angry Andrea and Acacia.
"What the hell are you doing here? This was suppose to be a guy free night but you came around and ruined it! Jade doesn't need this stress right now." Andrea said.
"Well I'm sorry. I told Jade that we'd talk later and it's later." Taylor said.
"It doesn't sound like talking it sounds more like fighting to me." Acacia said.
"We're talking things out." Taylor said.
"If you're talking things out then why are you yelling at her?" Andrea crossed her arms.
"Can you come back to my place so we can talk?" Taylor looked at me and I shrugged.
"I don't know. Are we going to continue yelling or are we going to actually talk?" I sassily asked.
"We'll talk." Taylor said and I looked over to the girls.
They both nodded.
"If she comes back crying we won't hesitate to beat you." Andrea said.
"I'll take my car and you take yours." I said and Taylor nodded.
"I'll be back." I sighed.
"Be careful. Don't let that asshole hurt you." Acacia said.
I changed my clothes into a pair of leggings and Taylor's shirt. I tied up the shirt and went downstairs. I grabbed my keys and headed out to my car. I drove to the Magcon house and just walked in. I don't need to knock since I practically live here too.
"Hey boys." I waved.
"Aye! Jade's here!" Jack J shouted and giggled.
"What are you here for?" Nash asked and I pointed upstairs.
"Oh. Taylor?" I nodded.
I went up to Taylor's room and shut his door.
"You left out by saying that you put everyone else ahead of you." Taylor said.
"Yes I do. I put others ahead of me so I'm not selfish." I said.
"But you still focus on yourself a lot Jade. You always leave this house crying because of me and the boys question you and you tell them, then you spend the whole night crying and feeling sorry for yourself." Taylor scoffed.
"What has gotten into you? You'd never do this to me. You'd never cut me out of your life. You saved my life Taylor, literally. I would've died the other night if it wasn't for you but now you're acting like this? If you want to push me away then why did you save my life? Why didn't you let me die?" I asked.
"Because I still love you. No matter how harsh I can be, I'll always love you." Taylor said.
"You fight with me, then tell me you love me. We aren't dating so why does this keep happening?" I asked.
"We would be dating if I didn't have that road block." Taylor mumbled.
"What road block?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just forget about it." Taylor said.
"No. Tell me Taylor." I demanded.
"Oh my god why do you have to be so pushy!" Taylor yelled.
"You never tell me anything!" I fired right back.
"I tell you a lot of things Jade but you never listen!" He yelled.
"I listen to you all the damn time Taylor so don't say that! I deserve to know what happened! You're the one who brought it up in the first place so don't sit here and call me pushy! I'm so fucking sick of you right now!" I yelled.
"I brought it up but just drop it! Not everything can. Go your way miss princess! If you're sick of me then why are you here?!" Taylor yelled.
"Exactly! You brought it up and expect me not to question you! I'm still here because you wanted me to come here god dammit! Why are you such a jerk! We used to be so great and now you're pushing me away! What has gotten into you!? All you're doing is causing me stress but I can't stay away from you! You should've just let me die! I hate how you do this to me! I hate you Taylor Caniff!" I screamed.
Taylor's face grew hot and I could tell he was going to explode.
**
Cliffhanger! I might double update so watch out!
Love you all!