When The Stars Align

Chapter 38

Saturday morning. I woke up with a terrible headache, maybe from the river I cried during the night. I cried myself to sleep, alone in bed, hearing James walking down in the living room from one side to another. We didn't know how to deal with our pain, each one of us dealing with it the best way we could. I don't remember him coming back to the bed, so I just passed out of fatigue. My eyes were swollen, my head was pounding, still... my eyes filled with tears first thing when I opened them. I stared at my white wall, feeling James breathing softly on my back and my tears ran down my face one more time. There's no words to explain what a mother feels when her child is in such condition as mine was. Suddenly the world wasn't such a wonderful place.

I turned around and laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, taking a hand to my eyes to clean my tears and then I turned around to look at James. I laid on my stomach and watched him. He was puffing a bit and snoring low. I ran the tip of my fingers over his face. I traced the lines of chin, then his jaw and finally his lips. Then I pulled his hair away from his face, he stirred a bit, so I took my hand away. When he stayed still I traced the line of his lips again and watched him sleeping for a while. So quiet, so calm... I approached my face to his and brushed my lips in his softly, I closed my eyes as I made contact with him. A baby with him? His words from the previous night rang in my ear, echoed in my mind and I opened my eyes and stared at him for a bit more. Could we have another baby? Should we?

"I love you." I whispered resting my hand on his face and running my thumb on his cheek. I didn't resist to kiss him, so I brought my face close to his again and pressed my lips against his. My eyes closed and I kissed him again and soon I felt his lips responding to my kiss. His hand tugged on the back of my head and his lips parted allowing my tongue to meet his.

"Hey..." He whispered as our kiss broke and our eyes met.

"Sorry I awaked you." I said caressing his face. My lips opened a soft smile. James raised his head and kissed both my eyes.

"Hate to see these eyes like this." He said resting his head back on the pillow.

"I couldn't help it." I said. Without saying anything his lips met mine one more time, then he pulled the covers away and gave me his hand.

"Let's go have a shower and pick up our girl and live." He said. I took his hand and he pulled me up to help me stand, and so we did...We had our shower, then breakfast and then we made our way to Lars's, where Sarah had spent the night.

"Where are you?" James asked resting a hand on my leg, making me turn my head to look at him.

"I was thinking about our conversation last night." I said. He looked at me by the corner of his eye, trying not to distract too much from the road.

"And?" He asked.

"I don't know..." I said leaning against my seat and looking outside again. James squeezed my leg a bit.

"Andrea..." He began but I turned my head to look at him again and talked so he shut up.

"Babe, honestly, having another baby with you it's amazing, when I think of the idea, it makes my heart melt but the purpose in which we're deciding it terrorizes me." I explained hoping he'd understand.

"What do you want me to tell you Andrea? That I want to have another child with you? Yes...I do." He said slowing down the car so he could look at him.

"To save Sarah." I insisted.

"Yes, to save Sarah but because I love you and we're together so there's nothing wrong with having a baby. If we can have both then why not?"