When The Stars Align

Chapter 89

"You can't be serious! He said. I turned around so we were face to face and looked in his eyes.

"I am serious, as hard as this can be, but I don't want to have another child alone. I had Sarah, it was so hard, even if I loved her to death and I did, it still was very, very hard and I don't want to go through that anymore." I explained.

"I have a say in this! We're married and I am the father!" He argued.

"You are at the moment an absent father." I whispered. "I am alone most of the times and I am going to repeat, as selfish and cold as this might seem, I am very satisfied with two kids and right now I don't need a baby. Only God knows how hard this is. I didn't want to have this kid first place and neither did you. We had agreed to stick with two."

"Look, I am really tired right now. Can we talk later?" He asked me.

"Sure, I am tired as well." I said. He didn't turn around, instead he rested his hand on my belly and closed his eyes.

"It's our baby, you can't do this." He whispered keeping his eyes closed, I didn't say a thing. James fell asleep in no flat time; it took me a bit more to do so. Feeling his hand resting on my belly made my heart melt a bit. I didn't want to get an abortion, even if it was an accident and it had been just two days since I've known, I loved that baby. It's true that when I made the test and found out I was pregnant, that idea crossed my mind but then I couldn't get rid of something so special, another piece of me and him. I knew I was blackmailing him, but it was for a good cause, though I was afraid I was distressing him more. It could turn out both ways. I had to force James go to rehab, one way or another. I didn't want to leave him, and the kids were broken. Things were not easy at all and then, a new baby coming around. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want to have another baby alone. This time it felt exactly like when I found out I was pregnant with Sarah, apart from the fact I am an adult now.

When I found out I was pregnant with Sarah, I felt helpless and lonely and not loved, and especially scared, since I had to deliver the news to my parents. This time was basically the same, I felt like I was alone, I was living that moment alone, and unwanted baby and I was scared not because of the parents but because James was there but not there. I missed that warming and passionate feeling of when I found out that I was pregnant with Tyler. The happiness and joy and the instant love. James stirred and came closer, his warm breath crashing against my neck and I was so exhausted and unable to sleep. I wanted to but somehow I couldn't. I worried I'd have some sort of nervous breakdown, still and almost unnoticeably my eyes began to subside and shut little by little. I fell asleep.

Later, I woke up with fingers caressing my face. I blinked a few times until I could keep my eyes opened and found James, turned on his side and so close to my face. The tip of his fingers were caressing my cheeks, and then he pulled a strand of my hair away and put it behind my ear. I pulled myself closer and kissed his lips, I intended it to be just a peck but then his hand tugged on the back of my neck, demanding me to deep the kiss. My lips parted that instant and his tongue met mine, twirling with it. His body pulled mine on my back and he slid a leg over me, while my hands gripped onto his back in need. The kiss was broken seconds after and James rested his forehead against mine, his body half on top of mine.

"You can't get rid of our baby." He whispered. "You can't Andrea...I will never forgive you." I took both my hands to his face and pulled it up a bit.

"What's the alternative?" I asked. "James, the moment is just so inappropriate to have a kid. We're struggling to keep this marriage. Our kids are witnessing things they shouldn't, even yesterday..." I said.

"One thing I know, we love each other and that's why we are both here and I also know we love the children a lot and there's space for one more!" He rolled off me, landing on his back on his side of the bed.