When The Stars Align

Chapter 95

I followed him and we joined the others, though we didn't talk to each other again that afternoon, nor looked at each other's eyes. I didn't have fun, but I stayed there for the kids, they were happy. It cost me a lot to be hanging around and hearing every one laugh when all I wanted was to cry. When the sun began to set down, we began our way back to the cabins. My parents got to theirs first.

"Sarah, how would you like to stay tonight with us?" My mother asked. Sarah shook her head first but then she looked at both, James and I and nodded. My mother was trying to leave me and James alone that night. I was not sure if that was a good idea, as when the kids were with us, he had to occupy himself of them. "The kids will stay with us tonight." She told us.

"I want to stay with daddy." Tyler whimpered.

"I let you sleep with me." Sarah told him crouching in front of him. My daughter was smart enough to understand what her grandmother's intentions were.

"Really?" Tyler asked her smiling and I knew there I was going to stay alone with James in the house. I crossed my arms around my chest and looked at the sky. I predicted a terrible night for me.

"Yes Tyler." Sarah said and he grabbed her hand ready to stay with my parents.

"So they stay with us." My mother said winking at James.

"I'll go with you then to grab their pajamas and some clothes for tomorrow morning." My father said. I kissed my kids and turned my back at all of them, beginning to walk back to our cabin. I almost cursed my mother for doing so. I just didn't want to stay alone with James that moment, I knew he was going to ask me to talk, and I didn't want to talk more, because it made me relive things and I didn't want to live it anymore.

"I'm going to grab their stuff." I said going upstairs when we got to our cabin. First, I got rid of the snow clothes and then I grabbed a back bag and put their pajamas and some clothes inside. I came back downstairs to find my father patting James's back and then he got up when he saw me coming in. I felt some conspiracy in there, I felt like the whole world was against me but then I looked at James blue eyes, hurt, looking at me and my heart ached. I loved him...I had no doubt about that. "Here..." I said giving the back bag to my father.

"See you tomorrow." My father kissed me, and I walked him to the door. "Profit of this night Andrea." He told me while I held the door. I nodded, not thinking too much about it and then I came back to James.

"I'm going to take a shower." I said leaning against the threshold.

"Can I order dinner?" He asked me straying his gaze off the TV. "Are you gonna take long?"

"No...I won't take long, order dinner." I said, then I turned away and went upstairs. I closed myself in the bathroom, opening the water, so I could cry loud. My shoulders shake and as I cried more I began to lose strength on my legs. I slowly slid down until I was sat on the floor, naked on the cold floor of the bathroom. I cried for quite some time even forgetting the water running. Whenever I started crying, I'd lose track of time.

"Andrea..." James knocked on the door. "Are you ok? The water is running for such a long time!" He said.

"I'm fine." I yelled from the inside, controlling my voice not to choke in the sobs.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Go away." I said and then closed my eyes as more sobs came. It hurt me to tell him to go, to be that distant, but I didn't want him near me that moment.

"Andrea..." He said.

"Please James..." I told him.

"No...I am coming in." He said. I felt the knob turning and I dragged myself to try to lock the door, but he was faster, catching me kneeled on the floor, naked and shivering with cold. "Andrea!" He exclaimed kneeling in front of me. "Look at you..." He whispered running a hand over my face and cleaning my tears. "You're driving me crazy babe." He said cleaning my face. "You're driving me nuts." He got up and held me in his arms, stepping inside the shower with me and putting me under water, and holding me close against him. James was fully dressed but didn't care, he was there for me with all his heart. I could feel that. He just caressed my face and rested his forehead against mine, then he started crying. "Sweetie, you can't let yourself go down. You can't let depression take care of you, where's the strong woman I know? The one who's ready to fight the world?"