When The Stars Align

Chapter 103

JAMES POV

While Andrea managed to fall asleep, I didn't. So many thoughts raced on my mind that I was unable to close my eyes and get lost in neverland. I witnessed the night turning to day and then I dedicated my time watching Andrea, so deeply lost in her sleep. Gently, I took her hair off her face and her lips puffed a bit as she breathed, remaining slightly parted after, inviting me to kiss them. I ran the tip of my fingers over her cheek. I wanted to caress her so much, but I couldn't do that while she was awake, I couldn't show her I was that weak, vulnerable, and helpless in front of her. She had to cope with the weight of her huge mistake, but I loved that woman unconditionally, and I was there to stay.

"You are so beautiful." I whispered talking to her, even if she couldn't hear me.

That was a good thing actually, because I wanted to tell her things, but I didn't want her to hear them, if that makes any sense to you. I was not ready to let her know all. I was still raging, divided between my love and hate.

"I hate you and I love you, all at the same time you know..." I continued my rant. "You better not blow things up this time, or I will never be able to come back again. I hate myself for not being strong enough to turn my back on you, and I hate you for what you did." I finished.

I turned on my back then, staring at the white ceiling and rested the back of my hand on my forehead, thoughtful. As images of Andrea letting the guy kissing her invaded my mind, tears fell down my face silently. It hurt so damn much. I began then to think if I was going to trust her again, or if I would walk around holding my heart in my hands afraid she'd do the same mistake again. Then, I began to ask myself if my questions were answered sincerely. If a kiss hurt that much, I couldn't think about the damage done if anything else had happened. I began to think in between if it was better not know of it or if it was better to know it all.

I began to despair again, my heart raced as my tears rolled down my face one more time. I felt rage taking care of me once more. I wanted to scream, to hit her, to shake her, yell at her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her... Make her surrender. Andrea was mine, only mine... Then, I was remembered that only love can leave such a mark in our heart and I began to calm down and finally, I heard Sarah walking around and I read the time on my cell. It was time for her to get up and get ready for school. I got out of bed gently and went for a shower, since I couldn't sleep, I would take my daughter to school. Andrea needed to rest more than I did. I concluded that everything that was happening was also a consequence of her restless time. I learned it the instant she told me she had sleeping pills in her hand.

Sarah was having her bowl of cereals when I entered the kitchen, shower taken and dressed. Her eyes lightened in surprise and she shot me a wonderful smile, I smiled back. Only my children to make me smile so genuinely.

"You stayed!" She blurted and I went to kiss her forehead.

"I did." I told her grabbing a cup of coffee. "I am going to take you to school, mom is sleeping, and she needs to rest." I told her.

"What was wrong with her?" She asked me. "Is she alright?"

"Don't worry, she wasn't feeling good, but she is alright." I decided to spare my girl of sordid details.

"It's getting late dad, so please hurry with your breakfast." She said going upstairs.

Sarah came back with a jacket and her backpack and waited for me near the door, not giving me time to finish my toast, but she couldn't be late.

"Dad, is mom gonna be alright now?" Sarah asked breaking the silence while I drove her.

"I hope so." I said vaguely, trying to keep my eyes opened as I was getting sleepy.