When The Stars Align

Chapter 102

3 am and I was sat on the couch unable to sleep. My despair grew much bigger once the kids fell asleep. My loneliness reached its peak. I slid down the couch and landed on the floor and I sobbed again. I pulled my hair and ripped my pajama, as if I was punishing myself for what I have done. The house seemed so empty without James there, my heart was bleeding, my soul smashed to nothing, my life made no sense, without James nothing made sense. I grabbed the bottle of the sleeping pills and took one, then I thought two would work faster and I lied on the couch. My tears fell down my face and I had the third, I was lost and out of hand. I just wanted to sleep as fast as I could so the pain would disappear for some hours and that's when I heard a key in the locker of the front door and then the door cracking open. I ran to the hallway to find James frozen.

"James..." I whispered turning the lamp on the phone table on. He watched me with a rather shocked gaze but didn't move. "James..." I said again, feeling a bit dizzy and he closed the door shut, but remained inside the house. "James..." I said again feeling my head spin a bit. I wanted to go to him and hold him, but I felt my body weakening.

"What's that in your hand?" He asked then walking to me. James grabbed the bottle and took it off my hands. I didn't offer any resistance; my vision began to blur a bit.

"It's just sleeping pills. " I said. "Don't go away." I asked him.

"Andrea..." He shook me a bit.

"I feel fine." I said, but I was feeling his arm grabbing me, I was no longer commanding my body, James was the one holding me still.

"How many have you taken?" He said tapping my face lightly, I was still conscious, but I was so far away.

"Just two or three...I can't remember." I said.

"God..." He muttered, grabbing me on his arms and going upstairs. I wasn't falling asleep, I just felt my soul abandoning me, I can't explain the feeling. He sat me on the floor of the bathroom in our room. "I should kill you, are you out of your mind?" He pulled my head closer to the toilet. "Open your mouth." He ordered. He held me still grabbing my jaw and I tried to open my eyes but that seemed like the hardest task of my life that moment. Sticking two fingers inside my mouth he managed to open it, then he stuck the fingers down my throat, and I heaved, puking in seconds. James held my hair while I threw everything out of my stomach and finally when I stopped, he leaned me against a wall, cleaning my face with a wet towel. I still felt weak.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Taking all that with the kids in the house, are you out of your mind?"

"I just wanted to sleep." I said. I was still feeling dizzy and weak. Every time my eyes closed; he'd tap my face to bring me back to life. He got up and opened the water of the shower, then he came back to pick me up and holding me against him, he got inside the cold shower. "I just wanted to sleep and forget." I said while the water froze my body. James pulled my hair back and stroke my face.

"It's ok..." He whispered. "I have to take you to the hospital." He said. After a while he yanked me off the shower and sat me on the toilet, rolling a towel around my shoulders. He disappeared in the room and came back with dry clothes for me, then he changed himself, choosing amongst the clothes he had left behind. "I am going to wake Sarah up; I think she is responsible enough to stay here alone with Tyler."

"She's too young." I said, trying to talk loudly but my voice was so weak.

"We don't have another option now." With that James left me sat there and my head span around so much. I remained quiet until he came back. "Can you walk?" He asked putting my arm around his neck. I tried but my moves were very subtle and weird, basically James dragged me until his truck and then he drove to the hospital. To make everything faster, he carried me on his arms inside.