When The Stars Align

Chapter 54

"I don't understand...I really don't." I said trying not to yell at him when my parents were on the next bedroom..

"It's simple. You don't need to work! Aren't we fine this way? Everything is so cool right now!" He added waving his hands in the air.

"It's cool for you but it's not cool for me alright?" I shot. "I miss being useful, do something other than being at home waiting for life to happen."

"You are useful here at the house supporting our kids and me." He said. I smiled at him incredulous with his words.

"Do you really expect me to be happy with that?" I asked and he looked at me serious. "Do you think I want to stay home for the rest of my life? I don't want that!" I raised my voice. He came closer taking two huge steps and clenched his teeth.

"Don't talk too loud!" He said. "Do you want your parents to hear that we're fighting on fucking new year's?"

"I don't give a fuck!" I added. "You acted like a jerk the rest of the night, always with a beer in your hand not giving a fuck about us!"

"Aaah...now you're trying to blame this all on me." He opened his arms like ready to take a shot.

"You were exaggerating, on everything. In your reaction towards Corey, in your reaction towards this possibility for me and in the drinking too."

"We better go to sleep." He turned his back at me and pulled the covers on the bed away violently and lay in bed. I stayed frozen on the same place looking at him for a few seconds but then I joined him, turning my back on him right away. James turned off the light and we went silent.

"I didn't like the way he looked at you ok?" He broke the silence. His voice was quiet though.

"You are really drunk right now; I don't want to talk to you." I said.

"I know I am drunk...but I know what I am saying and tomorrow my opinion will be the same." He said.

"Then this fight will continue tomorrow." I said determined. Silence again and I prepared myself to sleep. Then James turned the light on again and I felt him sitting on the bed. He took a hand to my shoulder and turned me on my back so I could look at him. "What now?" I asked him.

"I don't wanna fight." He said. I stared at the ceiling for a while and then looked back at him and he smiled making me melt with his kiddy smile.

"I need to work James. That is part of me as music is part of you. How would you feel if I asked you to leave your music? I need that...I need to have my career." I tried to explain one more time and the smile on his face vanished and he turned off the light again. That was it for us that night. My plan to make love to him went down the gutter and instead of having a great night celebrating, we spent the night away from each other.

I woke up sooner and ready to puke. I kneeled in front of my toilet first thing after getting out of the bed and I heaved throwing nothing out. I was glad that wasn't happening every morning, but it bored me still. As I kept on trying to throw something out I felt a presence by my side.

"Do you want me to bring you water?" He asked crouching by my side and I shook my head. I felt really bad, the more I heaved the bigger the nausea. I sat on the floor feeling my legs a bit weak and heaved a bit more, He grabbed my hair and ran a hand over my back and after a while I stopped and stayed quiet just breathing. "Is it over?" He asked.

"Yeah...I think so." I told him looking at him. He looked tired and restless.

"I need a coffee." He said getting up and helping after.