When The Stars Align

Chapter 66

I hung up the phone feeling my blood boiling a bit. I was mad at James, but I was able to control it when I was talking to him. I had to give him the credits, first thing he did was to apologize, at least, he was conscious he had failed, but it was also his first time and I knew how hard it was being for him to keep on track all the time. He was drunk, he confessed he had been drinking but I could see the difference in his voice, in the way he dragged the words, but then having a few beers with friends was normal and I could not condemn him for that. I was just afraid he'd not take the pressure on other things and also I did know James could lose his track quite easily. Anyway...I forgave him when we talked on the phone and I was willing to let all that go away. His advice on the phone was enough for me, because I felt a bit lost about how to deal with what had happened that afternoon. Now, I had a guideline. I turned my light off and closed my eyes to sleep.

"Mom..." I heard a voice calling me. I opened my eyes with difficulty and Sarah turned the light on which caused me to blink a lot of times until my eyes were fully adapted to the light. "Mommy..." She said pouting a bit.

"Sweetie it's 6.30, and it's Saturday!" I told her.

"Can I stay here with you?" She asked me. I pulled my covers away immediately so she could snuggle with me. Sarah lied on the bed and attached her tiny body against mine. I wrapped my arms around my daughter and kissed the top of her head, happy at least she was talking again.

"Better now?" I asked her as I was quite sure she had come to me to seeking protection.

"Why did she have to die mom?" She asked me. There were so many doubts inside her head and I didn't know how to make things clear for her.

"She was extremely ill." I told her.

"Trish was waiting for a bone marrow, just like me." She said. Sarah not only was grieving for her friend; she was also afraid for herself.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." I said squeezing her against me. Suddenly I was also afraid and anxious because I was going to do the test that afternoon.

"Please mom, don't let me die." Sarah cried and that crushed my heart and made me cry too. We sobbed holding onto each other and I patted her hair with one hand.

"Nothing is going to happen to you sweetie. I won't let anything happen to you; you hear me. And dad....dad is gonna protect you too, we won't let anything bad happen to you Sarah. Don't cry sweetie." I begged her.

"Will you take me to Trish's funeral?"

"Are you sure sweetie? I mean...it's not an easy thing." I tried to deceive her. I knew James had told me to let her go, but I was not comfortable with putting Sarah to such a heavy environment.

"I want to go there mom!" She said cleaning her eyes. "Please mom, come with me, take me there." I ended up nodding. I didn't have any idea how she'd react to that, but I agreed, still thinking that was not a place to take a 10-year-old. We fell asleep in my bed. Sarah cried herself to sleep and then I turned the light off and fell asleep the next second. Later I was awaked by my cell ringing. Without opening my eyes I grabbed it off the nightstand and took it to my ear.

"Hello..." I answered with a sleepy voice.

"Were you sleeping?" I hear James's voice on the other end.

"Oh...hi babe. Yeah, Sarah is sleeping here with me. She came here at 6.30, wanting to talk. Oh James...she wants to go to the funeral today." I said.

"Then let her go." He said.

"But she's just 10..."

"Yeah, she is, but it's a lot better that she gets the chance to say goodbye properly. I know what I am saying, I know what I am talking about and as her father I think it's for the best, because even if the funeral might be intense and huge for her, it's gonna be better than not to do any of these things. In some time, it will all be over for her and if you don't take her there she's gonna struggle with the fact she never got the chance to say goodbye, so you're gonna take her there."