When The Stars Align

Chapter 82

1996

Yes, two years gone. Two years of ups and downs, of love and war. In these two years, Metallica played live in between studio sessions to record their latest album Load, which came out that same year and took them on a long tour. Long enough to plant the seed of doubt in my mind, long enough to change James a bit.

During these two years, Sarah got, finally, out of danger and came back to her life and to ballet as she wanted and was even doing recitals already. She was 13 and growing fast, I could see my little girl disappearing and a young woman appearing. That made me nostalgic, but it was a wonderful feeling to see our kids grow. Tyler was two, smart, vivid and extremely funny. He became the shining star of the house, well, he was the baby of the house and even Sarah was very protective of him. Lars and Belle got married back in 1994 and in 1995 they became parents of a beautiful girl. Lilly looked like a porcelain doll, black hair, candid skin, like Belle and had her father's green eyes. She was just lovely and gorgeous.

Like I said, after the release of the new album, Metallica went on tour. This one was much longer and even if they tried to come and go, it involved a lot of time away. Lars and James were the only ones married with children, but still Jason and Kirk were in steady relationships. After some hard time with women, Kirk finally met someone appropriate for him. Her name was Lani and she get along with us quite well. Belle and Lani tried to go on tour with them, with no success, there was never an invitation nor reaction to their trials, which caused me some concern. I could not go with James the whole time, except for summer, as I was still working as a teacher and Sarah had school. At first they all used to ask us to meet them at some point and then the requests disappeared, James not even once mentioned the fact of the family meeting him, even if he was really caring and tender on the phone, except for the times when he was too drunk to speak coherently. I got a bit disappointed in him several times during that period, Sarah too, because at 13 she'd understand when he was drunk and when he was not and explaining to a two-year-old why his daddy couldn't be at home all the time wasn't easy either.

"Lilly, put that down, that's Tyler's." Belle reprimanded her daughter that had one of Tyler's cars in her hands.

"Oh leave her, she's just playing and she's just a year old, what does she know?"

"Mommy...my car!" Tyler whimpered.

"Let Lilly play with it sweetie, grab another one." I told him.

"No." He cried.

"Tyler, grab another car, come on." I said, but he just burst into crying. "Oh fuck.." I whispered. "Baby, please don't cry, come on. Look, you're bigger, you're a man! Lilly is so little yet, let her play with your car, you have so many Tyler."

"I want that one." He continued crying.

I got up from the chair and crouched in front of my kid. Even if we were in middle November, the sun was shining and it was really warm outside, so we were at the garden while the kids played. "Do you know who's coming home today? Dada is..." I told him and he stopped crying to offer me a smile. He took his tiny hands to his blue eyes and cleaned them. Tyler grew up to confirm our suspicions since the beginning, he looked like me, blond as both of us and his eyes were James's. "You have to be a good boy so mommy can tell dada how good you were."

"Is he gonna play with me?" He asked with his cute two years and a half voice.

"Of course, he always does." I pampered his hair and he sat, grabbing another car. I sat back with Belle and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Sometimes they're so exhaustive." She said. "I mean, I love my little girl, she is the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life but sometimes, secretly, I just wish I could have a moment for myself."