When The Stars Align

Chapter 86

I woke up early, too early for a Sunday, so I tried to sleep a bit more, but I couldn't. James was passed out by my side, sleeping peacefully. I turned on my side to look at him. Lightly, I kissed his forehead and caressed his hair with the tip of my fingers.

"What are you doing to yourself?" I whispered while I watched him. It hurt me so much to see him that vulnerable and hated the fact he didn't admit it. He did, he just refused to get help. "You need help babe, help that I can't give you." I talked to him as if he could hear me. Tired of being in bed I gave him another kiss, which caused him to stir a bit and got out of the bed gently. I covered his back, to tuck him in better and went to the bathroom. I peeked at the bathroom's window and the day was grey. The sky was dark and there was this gust blowing. Then, I showered and came back to the room to get dressed. I chose a pair of faded blue jeans, black top and a black sweater. All-star combining in black and I let my hair fall down my shoulders still wet. I went downstairs to the kitchen.

I opened the door to Disco, as usual and fed him. I sat calmly at the table having my breakfast and then, since everyone in the house were still sleeping, I decided to go for a walk and take Disco with me.

"Disco come on boy. " I called him in the garden. When he saw his leash in my hand he began to run. "I knew you wanted to come with me." I said while I put it on and then I walked with him. First down our street in the neighborhood and then down the hill towards the beach. The gust blowing was even cold, I regretted the fact that I didn't bring another jacket with me. Disco pulled me, eager to go further and I had to hold him still. "Don't push." I argued with him. He'd go alright for a couple of minutes and then he'd begin to push again. They say dogs get their owner's personality and I could see James's impatience in Disco. I never believed in that until I began to see a lot of James in the dog. It was too funny.

I set him free once I got to the beach, that was deserted, and he began to run to the shore. As usual he stayed there barking at the waves for a while and I sat on the sand laughing alone. He barked and ran away when the waves came near, he didn't like to wet his paws.

"You're such a pussy." I said when he came for a caress, Disco tried to lick my face, but I pulled away. "No..." I said. "Look what I brought." I said showing him his ball. Immediately, he stuck his ears straight, waiting for me to throw the ball far so he could play catch. As I did so he began to run after it, only Disco didn't play catch like the other dogs, he'd never return the ball to us, he kept it in his mouth, and we were the ones chasing him until we could get it back. I was too lazy to run after him, so I left him carrying it until he got tired and leave it near me. I watched him while he walked around the beach and then stared at the ocean. I thought about James and the trick life was playing on us. I buried my head in my knees as the thoughts formed in my head and sank in me. "God please help me." I said low, as if God could actually hear me. My desperation was immeasurable.

James was crying, yelling inside for help. He was so troubled, that he didn't realize the danger he was putting himself into. I wished he could open up to me, talk to me, so I could understand. Last night, he did admit his behavior was not recommended and deep inside I knew, he knew he had a problem, he was afraid of it, plus his pride is just huge, for him to admit something that big would be very complicated because it would mess up with his ego. It would show weakness, something he couldn't be, I was so lost in my thoughts that it took me a while to notice my cell vibrating in the pocket of my jeans. I saw James written on the display.

"Hi." I answered the call.

"Hi babe." He said tenderly and that made me smile. He was so sweet when he didn't drink. "Where are you? We're kind of abandoned here at home." He laughed at the end.