When The Stars Align

Chapter 55

"Andrea..." I heard him calling my name a bit nearer, but I just crashed on my daughter's bed crying, then I heard him knocking on the door. "Andrea...open the door." He asked. I decided not to say anything, I just wanted to cry a bit and let it all out. "Andrea, open the fucking the door." He said knocking a bit harder

"Go away." I said.

"Open the door, we need to talk." He asked. "Please..." He said, his voice fading a bit.

"Not now, ok?" I asked him with a crying voice.

"Babe...please..." He begged outside. "Don't cry come on..." He said. "I'm sorry..."

"Now you're sorry..." I yelled.

"Open the door Andrea, let me talk to you."

"Please go away James. Let me be quiet for a while, we'll talk later. Now, I just need to be left alone." I said. He punched the door but then I heard his footsteps going downstairs. I don't know how long I stayed alone and locked in the kid's room, but my mother called me for dinner and I also refused it. That moment I didn't care I was giving a hint I was mad at James; some things are bigger than us and that was one of them. The way my daughter looked sad crushed me and I couldn't allow him to do that to her, not in a moment when she needed him the most. Later he knocked on my door again.

"I brought you something to eat." He said. "You need to eat Andrea; you can't go to bed with an empty stomach." He tried to convince me. The loud noise coming of my stomach was telling me he was right, so I got up and walked to the door unlocking it, but I didn't open it, instead I came back to the bed. James on the other hand, feeling the door unlocking opened it himself and when I sat on the bed he kicked the door shut and stayed there looking at me with a tray in his hands. "It's chicken soup, tea and toasts, you mother made it." He said. Seeing no reaction from me he came closer and put the tray on my lap.

"Thanks." I said. He, reluctantly, sat on the bed and I felt his eyes on me while I dug the spoon in the soup. I was trying to avoid his gaze, but it was too strong to ignore it, so I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry..." He choked.

"You can't miss on her." I said resting the spoon on the plate. "You can miss a lot of things, but you can't miss on them James. They will need you."

"I just didn't want to be around her like that. Ok...I get pretty nasty when I'm hangover and I just want the whole world to disappear."

"If you now that why did you drink that much?"

"Because...I was mad at you and it was at hand." He said.

"She was so sad. I tried to make her laugh and could barely yank a smile of her. She loves you; you came into her life and you made her fall in love with you and she's just 10, there's a lot of things that she doesn't understand one of them being her father being hangover so he can't be around her. You have to be responsible for her, you have to stand for her."

"I told you I had a lot to learn." He said looking down, not being able to face me. "Here I am fucking things up."

"Look at me." I asked him and he did so. "You were doing a great job until today, today you screwed but it's up to us to learn with our mistakes. Together we also made a mistake and Sarah ended up in hospital, it's up to us not to do it again." I tried to put it simple.

"I'm sorry I drank so much last night. Sometimes I can't deal with my feeling and that is the way I find."

"Well that way can't be used now. Not is it's going to hurt your family, besides it's not healthy for you either. How many beers did you have? Jesus..." I shook my head and James looked even more embarrassed. "I told Sarah that you were probably cold, so that's the story you keep tomorrow. I hate lying to her..."