Forever Boy {Ariana/Male}

46 |This can't be happening|

I'm just skipping over the anniversary of Mac's death out of respect to him and also just because I genuinely don't like thinking about it like at all, he was just such a talented and really misunderstood person that lost his life too soon.

Yes substance abuse is a bad thing, but he struggled with that and he was open about it on many occasions. He needed help and in some ways Ariana provided that but she couldn't stay in that loop forever with Mac but she obviously still loved him then and she loves him now.

Hearing that he had died was honestly like a gut punch cause I'd seen how he had started to spiral out of control after his split with Ariana and when she got engaged to Pete who I don't get the hate for cause he made her happy and was there for her when Mac died knowing that she was gonna be thinking about Mac more than ever at that point in time.

That's really all I wanted to say although I could say a bunch more, but this is really just me speaking during a time when I miss Mac's music and his presence.

Yes his discography that he left behind is still here for us to listen to, but knowing that he himself won't ever get to make more is absolutely heartbreaking🥺

R.I.P Mac🙏 gone but not forgotten

If you or someone you know is dealing with some form of substance abuse please don't hesitate to get you or that person some help before it's too late.

Also I really hope you all go back and listen to Ghostin, probably one of Ariana's more personal songs just because of the subject.

Going back and listening to it now even though I already knew when I saw the track list that it was clearly about Mac, but really listening to the things she says in the song brings a whole different meaning to it and it's probably the only song that makes me cry real tears on that album besides imagine.

Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter I have for you though, such a weird transition but honestly Idc.

September 12th, 2019
Ariana's POV

Oh god no, I can't believe I'm doing this right now.

There are so many thoughts in my head that I can't completely comprehend at the moment.

Five days ago was probably the hardest day for me that'll only get harder as the years go by.

Five days removed from it all, I'm still reeling from the loss and now I'm scared that I'll be losing someone else.

Not in the same way thankfully cause I would not be able to handle that again.

I know I'm strong but not strong enough to handle that if it were to occur, definitely not.

That would literally break me.

"Ari, are you okay in there?" The sound of Victoria's knocking and her worried voice thankfully interrupted my reckless thoughts.

"Y-Yeah I'm fine. I'm just kinda unsure of what to do what right now."

"You're joking right?" She laughed slightly and I face palmed at what I'd said cause it was kinda stupid. "Did you read the instructions?"