The Shade's Of You. | ✓

26

Sophia.

I had finally said it, let it out in the open.

My heart beat was fast, so fast that I could feel myself drowning into another panic attack. But I couldn't hold it back anymore because it was true. I was really infertile.

That had me fucked up. I couldn't stop crying when the doctor brought in those results. I had waited a long while in there, wondering what was wrong, if I was going to die but it turns that this was worst— worst than I could ever imagine, being unable to have children of my own in the future. It wasn't going to happen but still, I had hoped and the thought of it being so brutally ripped away from me like that. . . It was definitely fucking worst than death to.

Somehow I had this weird inner dream that maybe, just maybe he would want to have children with me one day.

But now that dream had been squashed and thrown away.

Percy's eyes darkened and I couldn't tell what emotions swirled in them because I stood so far away from him but I knew that he, too, wouldn't be happy with the new news.

I almost expected him to be in relief, to be jumping for joy and screaming for roy because he didn't want his own kids, right? Wrong. He now looked so detached and distant that I felt bad and guilty for going without him, for finding this out without him by my side— which really was hard.

“We can't have kids?”

I nodded, “We can't have kids.”

I loved that he had said we and not you because it made me feel warm and special and it was his weird way of letting me know that his here and I'm not alone in this.

That this not only affects me but him as well, both of us.

He shuts his eyes again and takes in a deep breath, trying to call himself down but then I see it and I curse, fuck.

A fat single tear slowly rolls down his handsome face.

I move towards him, more like run into him and wrap my arms around him, allowing his heat and familiar scent to breath calmness and peace into me as his own arms tighten around me, almost not wanting to let go anytime soon and I fully understood it— we were each others calm.

His fingers drag through my hair and he places a kiss on my head. “Baby, I'm so fucking sorry. I know I said t—”

I shake my head and hug him tighter, “Don't. Not now.”

I just wanted— needed him to hold me like this and make me feel completely whole and completely his very own.

Suddenly I felt it unnecessary hiding away the test papers and everything else in the dammed folder because I knew that just looking at him, I would say it, I would tell him the truth without hiding it. But first, I wanted something.

I wanted him to make me feel special and good again.

But just being near him makes me feel that way already.

A warm soothing hand rubs gently down my back and I feel him kissing the top of my head, a little reassurance that his here, that he too feels this and that's all I'll ever need— for him to be here with me, beside me, always.

“You're my rock, I swear.” I chuckle breathlessly against his hard chest and he laughs, pulling our intertwined bodies backwards and onto the bed, we bounce on the mattress and I gasp, clutching at his shirt, almost tearing it apart.

Percy smiles up at me, getting comfortable underneath me as I place my knees besides his hips and lean over him and my dark hair falls, curtaining and hiding our faces.

His fingers reach up and brush back my hair, slowly he tucks the hair behind my ear and I smile down at him.

“My beautiful girl,” He whispers and I blush a dozen.

Green eyes search mine, desperately search mine for something but he finds nothing and quietly sighs to himself. “I've been a fucking dick about the whole kids situation, haven't I?” He mutters, shaking his head while his fingers grip hard on my waist and he lifts me up, sitting us both on the bed, facing each other and takes my hands in his— slowly drawing his patterns and I smile at the charming effect. “I should explain then.” He states, smiling.

I sigh this time and shake my head no, leaving him confused but I have my reasons for not wanting to know now but maybe later on, yes, I would love to know.

“I would love to know why you're built the way you are, Percy. But I just. . . not right now okay? There's so much—”

He leans in, still with a smile on his face and presses a warm kiss on my forehead and nods his head in understanding. “I understand what you're saying but I want you to know this now, take our minds off things for a bit okay?” He slowly says and that makes sense, in a way.

I open my both to agree but a loud sound resonates around the apartment and I nearly jump out of my skin.

Percy groans loudly, shaking his head, he goes to stand and takes me with him— together we slowly walk towards the absolutely insane mess and I stifle a loud laugh at the horrifying sight that greets us once we enter the kitchen.

“Charlie!” Percy scolds.

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I missed writing about my charlie.😂✊🏻❤️
If I were to write this book on Charlie what would you guys expect to see?

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