𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 {𝐔𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Chapter 47: Father Fallout

*Ushijima's POV*

"Dad..?" I thought to myself.

I was drastically underprepared, but there was no time to think about that. It felt best not to interfere, but my number one priority was to protect y/n no matter what.

*Your POV*

I hadn't made contact with him in well over a year, and I hadn't seen him in even longer. He never visited like this, and it prompted the question of why he was here. I tried to keep all of my emotions under control for now.

"Why..." I began, unable to finish the question.

"It's... been a long time."

I stifled a snarky response back. Being sassy wouldn't help the situation in the slightest.

"You're right. It has. Why didn't you call or email, write, send a carrier pigeon for all I care? I reached out to you, but you never bothered to bless me with a reply. You better have a good explanation."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I should've talked to you and your mother more. I just got so overwhelmed by the shame of leaving. I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me. A part of me assumed it would be better to just let you live out your lives without me holding you back." He admitted with a downhearted guise.

Me, me, me.

I couldn't believe this. It hadn't been more than a minute, and he was already guilt-tripping. Of course, he could deflect the blame onto us because of how we made him feel. I wondered if he was even capable of thinking about anyone besides himself. He must've thought us quite stupid to fall for this act again.

"I'm not nearly as upset about your recent social absence as I am about the fact that you're standing in my living room. What is it that you came for? What matter was so pressing that you just had to drive all the way up here?" I questioned.

It was difficult not to yell with so much stored anger after everything he'd done in the past. I had every right to kick him out of the house right then and there, but I couldn't ignore the need for closure though I was sure I wouldn't receive any. Maybe that made me a fool.

"I know I don't deserve it, and I understand if you'd rather I leave, but I'm hoping that you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, a chance to be a father like I should've years ago. You deserve two parents in your life, and it pains me every day to know that you don't have that. I've thought long and hard about my actions, and I'm ready to make amends."

The absolute nerve of this man never ceased to amaze me. I could've sworn he'd memorized lines from a book called, "Shittiest Fathers and How to Be One!" I mentally gagged at how cliché this all was.

"What the hell have you done to deserve anything from us? You've made mistake after mistake, claiming that each was only a little slip-up, that you'd do better. That was too many 'would's ago. If you're any type of decent human being, you feel bad about what you've put us through, but you've made it repeatedly clear that it was never enough to reform. Did you consider the possibility that we don't want to make amends?"

My agony spewed from my mouth harshly, but he needed to hear it.

My mother stood solemnly feet away, silent in dolor, affliction written across her face. She knew that this wasn't her fight. She'd already made peace with her failed marriage, but I still had the right to decide for myself what I desired and whether or not that involved him.

Ushijima stayed next to me tensely. One could only assume he was unsure of himself or what to do. I sympathized with him in this uncomfortable situation, but he'd just have to tough it out.

"I didn't know you felt that wa-" He started, but I cut him off.

"Didn't know I felt that way? You're either stupid or a liar, perhaps both. You know what you did because we've told you countless times. How else we can explain it for it to finally compute that you've lost your place in this family? Abandon whatever false hope you have just like you abandoned us."

The verbal dagger I'd thrown pierced his chest with precision.

"Y/n..." He called with what almost seemed like genuine sorrow, almost.

"I've tried to forgive you. I've tried to understand how a man could desert his wife and child. I've even tried to love you again, but if I've learned anything throughout these years, it's this: An apology without improvement is manipulation. I'm done being taken advantage of. I don't feel sorry for you. I don't care that you're sad. I refuse to compromise my own happiness for that of someone who's hurt me so deeply."

It was quiet. Nobody said a word for they'd all been said. A small but heavy sigh escaped him.

"Okay. I'll go then... if you're sure that's what you want."

"It is."

He took slow, hesitant steps toward me and the exit, hanging his head. Once he was close enough, he spoke again.

"If you ever change your mind, I'll be there."

I shook my head a bit before replying a final time.

"You've proven that isn't true. Now, go."

I moved aside so that he could open the door and step out.

In those last moments in his presence, we looked at each other in a way we never had before and never would again because we both knew. That single gaze held the remnants of our terminal relationship. Any dying potential for something better rested in the space in front of us. This was my last opportunity to change my mind.

I stared into the glassy, aged eyes of the man I once yearned for and prayed that I was making the right decision.

"Goodbye, dad."

I closed the door and let the silence sink in.

That was it.

Before I could fall too deeply into the abyss of darkness, two pairs of arms engulfed me in a gentle hug. I was immediately warmed by the bodies, and it was communicated loudly and clearly that I had their support. We stayed there for a long time, holding each other.

It was then that I felt it, what it's like to not be alone. I was loved and cared for by the people I cherished most, and there was no doubt about it.

I'd be okay.

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