Shaayad...

14.

"You don't trust me...", she kept on saying.

Sidharth didn't say a word as he continued holding her. Now, he was rocking her back and forth in oder to calm her down as her body shook terribly.

Shehnaaz was having a massive breakdown and Sidharth hadn't been in this situation ever. How do you coax a girl whom you are in love with (But you don't know you are in love with her), when you are the reason she is crying?

He had never felt for somebody like this before and so obviously he had no idea. He tightened his grip around her and brought her close to his own heart.

Shehnaaz calmed a big as she listened to a loud thudding voice in Sidharth's chest. For a moment it scared her because it was just too loud and then she realised that it's just his heartbeat, his loud heartbeat.

Somehow, strangely, very strangely, that sound was soothing her and Shehnaaz didn't really realise that she had stopped crying.

Now she was so calm and her body did shudder a few times, but that was because of cold and not crying.

When Sidharth felt that she had calmed down and she was no longer crying, he still didn't pull away because he felt that she might push him away or worse, she might run away and not listen to him at all.

So, he kept the grip firm and took a deep breath, "I know I am wrong. I should have trusted you, you have done nothing past this one month which says otherwise.

Jaanta hun galti huyi. Tune mujhe first day ke bhi judge nhi kiya, aur meine tujhe ek mahine janane ke baad bhi judge kiya aur shayad mein hota toh kabhi maaf nhi kar pata.

Tujhse bhi expect nhi karta ki tu mujhe maaf kare. Par meri life mein koi aisi ladki kabhi rahi nhi jisne mera trust naa toda ho.

Ye Shivani. Z, ise bhi date kiya tha meine. She accused my mother of torturing her because I wouldn't move out with her and leave my mother alone in that house.

I love my mother a lot, more than anything, unke liye kaise suna hoga ye sab meine, soch.

Toh kabhi koi ladki aisi rahi nhi jispe mujhe pura bharosa raha ho aur usne mera trust break naa kiya ho. Everytime I trust a woman except my family, my trust gets cheated.

Aur mein jaanta hun that this doesn't justify me behaving like that with you. Kyunki although, mera experience bura rha hai but that doesn't mean that every girl is alike.

Wo toh bass kal raat...", he stopped instantly.

Sidharth bit her tongue and cursed himself, why does he say everything in front of her. Shehnaaz ke Saamne gadhon ki trha har cheez kyun bol deta hai?

"Kal?", Shehnaaz asked.

She was speaking to him finally. Sidharth relaxed a bit thinking that atleast now she wasn't cold with him.

This also meant that she was listening to his justifications and his story as well. Shehnaaz seemed curious to know what had happened yesterday that he behaved like that.

He smiled and sighed in relief. "Kal meine tujhe Param ke sath dekha, garden area mein raat ko, jab sab so rahe the. You were hugging him...", Sidharth said embarrassingly.

Shehnaaz pulled apart from him with wide eyes. She didn't know what to say to him. Why does he even care about whom she was with?

Wo Param ko hug kare yan na kare, what does that have to do with Sidharth? Why does he even care about it? Before she could tell him how stupid he was sounding, he said it himself.

"I know that's its very illogical aur mere paas Sach mein koi explanation nhi hai, ki mujhe gussa kyun aaya", he said hurriedly.

Obviously, he wasn't going to tell her that he feels for her and he was jealous of Param. He wasn't going to tell her that he was in love with her that was a given, but it had two reasons.