𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✥𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂✥

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Who knew that being a Captain would make her become the female version of Captain Levi Ackerman? "Oi, I didn't tell you could stop, cadet." She growled, narrowing her eyes in annoyance as she saw one of her cadets give up, coming to a stop from running the laps. "Don't make me regret choosing your excuse of a soldier as one of my cadets." She started using some of his language in her vocabulary, taking on things he said on a daily to her when she was under his leadership. She didn't know why she had picked on some of the things that made Levi him, but she didn't like it, cringed when she caught herself slipping. But right now, she couldn't give a single care if she sounded like the stoic man.

She was boiling. Angrier than she should be, but training new cadets who had disobeyed her orders two times before to stop and take a break was making her see red. She wanted to be kind, had promised to be, but seeing the boy stop, that he disobeyed her order again, made her be just like the cruel leaders she had when she had trained as an assassin. They used to beat her, hurt her, whenever she didn't do as they said. Made her bleed and lose consciousness when she came to a stop, when her body wanted some rest, and even said some of the most stinging, hurtful words that left her thinking about them for days.
She didn't want to be that way, recoiled when she saw the version of herself that she was becoming. "Fuck." She whispered, bending over and gripping her hair. What was she doing? She felt terrible, guilt coursing through her body as she realized who she was becoming. She was a hypocrite, denying them rest when before she had been in the same shoes as them and knew the feeling of your lungs and legs aching to catch a break. "Everyone, take a break."
She walked away, away from where her cadets could see. Her legs brought her behind a building, a small shed, where she leaned against the wall and let her body slide against the wall until she was sitting on the grass. She buried her head between her legs, trying to control herself. She had to calm down, had to. She couldn't continue behaving this way with her cadets, because she would lose them and their respect, and she couldn't bear the thought of being seen as a failure. It was just not an option. She had to calm down and then she would succeed at being a good captain, her sole duty right now. But why couldn't she calm down?

"Violet?" Julian's voice called out. "What's going on?" He sat down next to her when he spotted her H/C locks behind the wall. He was lost, just like the girl, her outburst taking everyone by surprise. Julian knew Violet like the back of his hand, all those years living together paid off for something in the end, so he knew very well her short temper. But this was so out of character, so unprovoked by all the cadets who had poured their blood, sweat and tears into this past week training and all they wanted to do was rest. Violet didn't lie when she said she would create the best squad out there, fulfilling her promise more than well. She trained everyone to perfection, making everyone become a version of themselves they wanted to be, but it was tiring.
"Do you want to talk?" He said, placing a hand on the small of her back. "What happened back then? I can go tell them training is over if that is what you need, but--"
"No, no don't do that." Violet sighed. She didn't know how to explain how she felt. She couldn't understand why being a captain was turning into something that was out of her hands, out of her experience. She wanted to excel, so desperately. But all she felt, all that repeated in her mind, taunting to the point she exploded, was that she failing miserably at this one task. And she hated that icky, oily feeling. "There's no need for that, okay? I just need to get my shit together. Leave me here, continue the training for me. Don't stop just because I'm so fucking incapable of doing this one gods damned thing."
Julian frowned. "Grey, what are you even talking about? Can you stop talking yourself down for once?" It was now her turn to frown. Julian had never talked to her in such a way, never talked back to her in a tone of such calibre. He had always been kind, sweet ol' Julian. This tone was breaking her mind apart, debating on whether she should beat the ever living out of him or should she sit and listen to what he had to say. While the first one was probably the easier way out of the situation, she chose the latter. "The cadets love you, are more than honoured to be led by you. They literally worship the ground you walk on, Grey, willing to follow you to whatever end. So please, enlighten me, where is this coming from?"

She looked at him dumbfoundedly. Violet didn't know whether he had noticed her acting like a devil incarnated yet pretended not to for her sake or he was so used to her foul mood that this day was nothing out of the ordinary. "Gods, don't you think I'm being like our instructors back in the keep? The ruthless monsters that trained us until we were beyond putty?" She said. "Because I do notice it, Julian. And I hate it. Dread it. I don't want to be that way, but it just happens and I can't stop it. I literally see red from the anger, the anger that is so unprovoked--"
"Hey, that's okay. More than okay." He said. "We can see you're stressed, everyone does, and we understand why you might be taking it out on us. Don't get me wrong, you're certainly one scary midget when you're mad." A sound like a growl came out of Violet's lips, narrowing her eyes in warning to the blue-eyed boy. "But overall, we get it, Grey. We won't leave you just because you want to bite our heads off. We wouldn't be here in the first place if we were such big pussies." He continued. "So what I'm trying to say is that, we won't leave you, Violet. Wherever you go, we go. Even if that means Hell itself."

"Thank you." She said, voice shaking a bit from the wave of relief and warmth that his words radiated as they left his mouth. "I'm sorry for being an asshole. I've been stressed, so damn stressed. Who would've thought that being a captain would be a big responsibility? I got to give it to the old man, he certainly makes it look easier than what it is."
Julian furrowed his brows, a look of confusion in his eyes. "Captain Levi? He isn't that old, you know. Four years older than me and you."
"Yet you knew who I was talking about." This earned a big laugh from Julian, lips stretching as a melodic sound escaped his lips. Violet smiled, feeling better now that she had calmed down. She didn't know how Julian did it, but he always managed to soothe her worries and thoughts away. Maybe that was his secret power, as she didn't know someone who had that same effect on her. "Come on, let's go back." She got up from sitting on the grass and extended her hand to Julian.
He took her hand and stood up, brushing away the grass and dirt clinging to his brown trousers. But before they could walk back to where the rest of Violet's squad was, Julian grabbed Violet's arm and brought her to a stop. "Hey, Grey?" He said. "Are we okay?"
She frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"The question I made, that day? I didn't mean for that to happen and I feel terrible, so damn guilty. I just want things to be okay between us."
Violet's lips widen, a smile devouring them whole. She looked at the guy and burst out laughing, a loud sound erupting from them. "Of course we are okay." She said between laughs. "Julian, you making me cry won't give you the easy way out of this friendship. If crying was a deal-breaker, then you would've left my ass a long, long time ago."
Julian rolled his eyes and started walking, taking Violet with him as he held on to her arm. "Shut up, Grey. You're making me sound like some big ass cry baby."
"That's because you are, you dipshit."
"Shut up or I'll tell the squad you were in tears behind that damn shed."
"You wouldn't!"

"Watch me."

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