𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✥𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙴✥

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It was pouring outside.
The harsh winds made the windows in her office tremble every now and then, creating a horrid sound that had Violet searching for an intruder with alarmed eyes. It had happened more than twice now, and every time it had made her look around her four walls with armed hands. Once she saw it was no one but just her paranoid mind, she went back to working on the paper in front of her. It was yet again another ungodly hour in the night and she found herself drowning in a pile of paperwork. She hadn't been able to sleep, again. So she decided to work on the paperwork she had not been able to finish. No one had told her just how much paperwork would come with being a captain, and even now with months of being in that position, she still had to get used to filling in page after page. It was exhausting, something she would rather not do. But it was much better than the other alternative, which was looking at the blank ceiling in her room while not being able to catch a glimpse of sleep. So working it was.

The rain helped her calm down a bit. It was soothing hearing the water and violent winds, whenever it was that they didn't make her windows scream. She enjoyed it greatly. This sort of storms had become one of her favourite things from the above, as in the Underground such sound and view was never once present to the eyes who lived below. She had known what rain was, had been taught such a thing. However, when the first thunderstorm had begun pouring down out of nowhere during her first days above, she could not lie and say it had not made her jump a bit at the sound it had made and the lightning that came first. But after the shock had passed, she had enjoyed running under the rain with Julian at their heart's content. She had enjoyed it so much, just her and Julian against the world. They hadn't cared if they woke up with a runny nose and rosy cheeks, the smiles on their faces beat anything that would come next. It had been such a splendid night, that one day, one that she would carry in her heart for as long as the world allowed her to live.

She hadn't been lying to Levi when she had told him that life here was much better than the one she used to have in the Underground. In every imaginable way, this was much better than what she had to live before. Not only were she and Julian finally free; free from all Austin's bloody hands and his damning reign, but she had also unintentionally found people that had made their way into her heart. She had never had this many people to care about and that they cared about her too. That they cared about her without expecting something from her back. It used to be just Julian. She only had to care about Julian, and to her, that was everything and enough. She didn't want more, hadn't expected more. But once she had made her way here in the above, she had learned to love more than she thought her heart of gold could ever give. It was so many people, more than she could've asked for.

So maybe, just maybe, the world wasn't that cruel to her after all. 

The world had finally been nice to her and gave her a reason to keep on fighting, to not give in to those phantom hands that invited her to the other side. Had not let her taunting thoughts win the battle. But she would be lying if she didn't say that some days, it was so tempting to just give in. It was easier that way. Much, much easier. And she was tired, too. Of fighting. But what gave her the strength to just live through it one more day, to suck it up and endure it all, were her friends. All those people her damned heart had made her care about.
But especially those grey eyes. He probably would never know, she would never tell him. But he had played an important role in teaching her to keep her head high. To keep on fighting, even when the dark days seem to be winning. He was the epitome of such a thing, had made himself be that thing. He had suffered, more than what he leads on, but he had conquered. Had been able to thrive in this world that doesn't want to allow such a thing to a mere man. But he had achieved it and continued to do it with every single breath he gave. And that, his whole being, had made Violet's heart want to keep on fighting. Maybe for him, or for herself, she didn't know. What mattered was that, although it felt like the world was testing her with every step she gave, she would not let them win. Even when she was tired and felt like finally coming to a rest.

She had seen Levi's eyes when she had lowered her walls that one day. Had seen the waves of emotions that flickered through his eyes. Had seen how, what he saw, pained and surprised him all at once. She will never tell him though, would rather not remind him of her weakness and vulnerability. She was not stupid, she knew how to read a person very well. And she knew Levi almost like the palm of her hand, so she knew what he had felt with just a look into those grey orbs. She wanted to appear strong for him, just like he did for the rest. Wanted to be someone he could rely on when he felt like the world was caving in. So she would show herself strong, even when forcing her lips to stretch into that smile she had perfected in just a few years, was a harder task than it had ever been before.
Sometimes, she wondered why had she let her walls down in front of the man. Why she had let him see her in such a state. It still puzzled her mind greatly. But she never knew why she had done that, why she had let him see what truly laid beneath her facade. It was the most vulnerable she had ever been with anyone, not even Julian who she had known longer than Levi Ackerman. But somehow, it had felt...right. It hadn't felt wrong, she never once wanted to take it back. She felt in peace, comforted in a way. And she did not know why.

"Oi, Violet." His voice ranged from outside her door, "Open the damn door, it's fucking pouring outside."
She got up quickly, stumbling on her feet as she rushed to open the door. What was he doing outside her office at this hour? And while it was pouring a wicked storm? "Levi, what on the gods name are you doing here?" She let him in her office, going to her bedroom in search of a towel. What a good thing it was that her office and room were connected by a single door, so far it had been very beneficial for her. She grabbed a fresh towel from her closet and went back to Levi, handing him the towel as he took a seat in one of her chairs near her desk. He started drying himself off, wherever he still had the drops of rain attached to him. He wasn't completely soaked by the rain, just a bit damper than usual that his white shirt starting sticking to his well-toned body. She looked away from his chest as she felt her cheeks warm, but thankfully her face did not reveal a single thing that went through her mind. It was its own blessing because her eyes had not wanted to turn away for a second there.
"I brought you tea." He said.
She looked back at him, eyes wide. "You came here, got yourself drenched in water, just to get me some tea?" She couldn't believe what she had heard.
"I'm here, aren't I? And there's the fucking tea?"
She laughed, lips stretching into a smile. "Okay, grumpy old man." She said while she grabbed a cup to pour some tea for Levi. "Thank you, I appreciate this."
"It's not a problem, brat." 

She handed him the cup and proceeded to serve herself some.
"What tea is this? Chamomile?"
"Yes. I figured you could not sleep once again, so I thought this would be better than what I usually drink."
"You're not wrong there." She sighed, "I couldn't sleep, so it was either this or continue tossing in my bed. So here we are."
It was now his turn to sigh. "You need to sleep, Violet. I can see how tired you are, especially those big ass dark circles you have under your eyes." 
She glared at him and kicked his leg under the table. "You have no place to talk, Mr Ackerman. You get way less sleep than I do." 
"Tch." 
"I thought so too." She said, "Anyways, let's change the topic."
"What would you want to talk about?" 
She shrugged. "Anything, really. You ask me something."

"How are you, Violet? Truthfully."
Well, wasn't that a question? She did not know how to answer, because she didn't know how she really was. She was tired, physically and psychologically. But she was also happy, happy that he was here. Her emotions have been everywhere lately and that was so unlike her. She was always so cool and collected before, had always been able to keep her emotions in control. She had been normal, hadn't felt the many overwhelming surges of emotions she had been feeling in this past year. But maybe that was because she hadn't endured what she had before, hadn't felt the world truly be cruel to her before. After all, while the world had been more awful than she deserved, she hadn't experienced the rage of the world against her as she had those awful years ago; and if her gut feeling wasn't wrong, she had yet to feel the last drop of that rage.
"I've been--"
"Start over. I know you're going to lie."
She lifted her brow and looked at him in the eye. He only raised his brow slightly as he stared back, a silent question passing through them. Well, are you gonna start?
"I've--I'm doing better, Levi. Thank you. You don't have to worry about me, really. I'll be fine, I am fine. I always have managed to be." She offered him a smile, but when she smiled at him, Levi frowned. She sighed, rolling her shoulders back. "Please don't do this. I am good, have been better. I am not lying."

He sighed too and cleared his throat, getting comfortable in his chair.
"What do you think about what Hanji found?" She changed the subject.
"What do you think, Violet?"
"Not going to lie, it's scary. Either outcome is not one I would want to deal with. They are equally just as bad, no matter whether my abilities have to do with some god or devil." She said, "But it was also a bit relieving knowing we are one step closer to knowing what the hell is wrong with me."
"Nothing's wrong with you, brat. You just happen to be gifted with something the rest of us don't."
She made a sound, sort of a whine. "Yeah, sure. Let's go with that." She didn't ask him the question again, decided to drop it. Although she would've wanted to hear what he thought, what went through his complicated mind, maybe it was better if she didn't know. Sometimes things were better that way. Instead, she said, "Do you sometimes think-- I don't know-- about the future? Like what you'll be doing afterwards."

"I don't."
"Why?" She pushed on.
"Because I think it's pointless." He said, "Your life is not guaranteed. You do not know if you will live for tomorrow, much less for the future you have imagined. Nothing is guaranteed."
She frowned. "Well, that's kind of sad."
"How is that sad, brat? Do you do it?"
"No. But I guess I just wanted to hear what went through that big head of yours, old man."
"Tch, just drink your damn tea."
She laughed. "Gods, no need to be so grumpy. Is it because it's past your bedtime, gramps?"
"You are a damn pain. Calling me old when I'm am not-- just because--" He cleared his throat, covering himself from stumbling over his words, "I am not old."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You are pre-historic." She laughed as he glared daggers at her, "Okay, no then. But seriously, imagine yourself in six years time. Then I will be able to call you old."
"I'll only be in my early thirties, Violet."

"Still, you'll be older than me." She said, "But who knows, maybe in six years you might not be as grumpy as you are."

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