Ready For Love

Chapter 55

Levi | Screw me

As scary as it seems, as terrifying as it looks.

My head is spinning. It's like I'm in a merry-go-round, like a kid enjoying the time of its life riding a fucking horse statue, it's just that I am not enjoying at all.

"A- are you s- saying that Shandrelle is... my sis—"

"Step. Step sister. She didn't came from me. Your mother was already pregnant with her before we got married."

I froze. As if I was just thrown underneath an iceberg or just someone poured a bucket full of ice from where I stood.

"And she doesn't own her name. Shandrelle is what the dead child's name supposed to be."

Now, it all makes sense. About that freaking—

"The thing you found on our portrait, I've hid it from your mother, from you and... to the world."

The freaking death certificate.

Can I just wake up? I don't... is this a fucking nightmare?

"A... and mother doesn't know about this?" I fixed my voice, so hard even if it was obviously tearing into pieces.

"Yes. She doesn't know any of this Lev" he shots his gaze on the ground like he was all ashamed and charged guilty by his actions.

Only that he truly is but it's too late. It wasn't just a tiny mistake that just a little sorry could do the trick, save and went things back to the way it was before. No, it wasn't just a little forgive and forget that could change the past and maybe a different future could've happened by now. It fucking wasn't! It was a huge fucked up mess.

I can't believe my father did all of that. And for what? Out of fucking jealousy?! Greed?! Selfishness?!

And it doesn't just end there.

"How could you kill a person dad?" my chest was heavy as the clouds that carries its water for so long that any time it would already fall to rain.

"It wasn't my fault okay?! It was my goddamn anesthesiologist's doing! He proposed the plan, I just agreed with it! I couldn't take the blame for something I didn't do! It was his fault! He made me do it! I didn't have any choice!" he threw his hands past his head as if he wasn't really involve with the crime.

"Of course you do! We always have a choice dad! And it's up to you to choose what is right! Whether you choose to do the right thing or wrong, either way, you still end up hurting someone! So why on earth would you hesitate to choose between the two if it would only end up with the same outcome?! You always said to tell the truth, you always said to face them! A lie is a lie, no matter how it quantifies it, it's still a fucking lie! You know well the consequences of our actions especially when you do things the wrong way! It would only make things worse and you know that! And you... you just cost a life. By that simple lie and choice you've made, you traded someone's life on the line dad. How do you think I feel right now? How do you think how my mind is handling all these dad? Thinking that my sister doesn't have any idea about her past and her identity! That all she believed in for the last few years she's been living her life was all a lie?" my vision was clouded. I felt the tiny drop stain my cheek and few more followed later on.

I was crying the hell out.

"Sweetie, calm down."

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down! You don't get to tell me what to do!" I was furious.

Furious like a tiger getting pissed just because it lost its prey on a competition over some cheetah.

This is way beyond what I expected it to be. Is this even my father? What kind of demon possessed his well-being?