Crash [H.S.]

thirty six

Joselyn Myers

I stood there for a few seconds after seeing my own fucking mother standing in front of me. It didn't hit me immediately that she was really right here, but when it did, my blood boiled and a wave of anger was quick to wash over me.

Seeing her here, in person after all these years, knowing that the last memory I have of her is watching her be dragged away by officers in a courtroom after hearing her final verdict and sentencing. I remember clutching to my dad's side in fear, worrying that she would hurt me again...hurt us again. I remember watching her kick and scream, trying to fight against the officers, but the minute she was gone from our sight, I can so clearly remember feeling my dad's shoulder slump in some kind of relief. I watched my grandparents each holding one of the twins with tears in their eyes, everyone was so relieved that she was gone, never to bother us again as long as she was smart.

But clearly she still wasn't.

"Joselyn, you've grown so much, my baby—" I watched tears form in her eyes after her pathetic words registered in my head. She doesn't get to call me that, she doesn't get to coo over how grown up I am, she's nothing to me.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" I seethed, cutting her off, making her jump slightly from the sudden raise in my voice. "Do you think that you have any right to show up at our doorstep, acting as if it's no big deal? Do you not remember why you haven't seen me grow up, hmm?" I rolled my lips together, thrusting my head forward in a threatening way to make her feel even smaller than she already was to me.

Before she even got a chance to say anything in response to my spiteful outburst, I started to hear footsteps behind me, and the sound of complete silence coming from the living room. There was no more chatter going on between everyone, the TV was seemingly turned down or off, everyone clearly heard me screaming at whoever was at the door and could focus on nothing but that.

"Whoa there Josie, what's with all the yelling—" My dad stopped himself from saying anything else, evidently having come close enough to the door to seem the pitiful excuse of a woman standing at our door. "Stella." My dad addressed her in the same menacing tone, and I suddenly felt his presence right beside me, protectively placing his arm on my back. "What are you doing? Why are you here...how the fuck did you even find us?" My dad was stuttering through just a few of the many questions I'm sure are stirring in his head right now.

"I-I just...I wanted to see my family. The kids Owen, they—I haven't seen them in so long and—" Listening her attempt to make up any kind of logical explanation as to why she's here was almost laughable, showing up at our doorstep after being in prison for most of my life, and on Thanksgiving? She's got to be out of her mind.

"No Stella, you can't do this. I don't care if you haven't seen them. You haven't seen them because you've been in fucking prison, where you still should be. My kids don't need you, you ruined our lives." My dad spit out what I was basically thinking, taking a sharp inhale of breath afterwards and turning to me. "I'll handle this, please keep your sisters calm. I will take care of this." I could hear a slight shakiness in his breath as he soothingly ran his hand up and down my back before placing a quick kiss on my cheek and heavily pushing to door open more to force the both of them outside.

I jumped slightly at the sound of the heavy slamming door, wrapping my arms around my body feeling like I didn't even know what to do with myself. I couldn't move, I still felt frozen in place, and it was like my immediate outburst towards her was just a quick adrenaline rush of seeing her standing right in front of me. Now the situation seemed to catch up to me, and I didn't have any thoughts running through my head, I felt stuck.