Crash [H.S.]

fifty nine

Joselyn Myers

The fact that I was currently standing backstage at the Fillmore in Miami Beach, just having witnessed an already incredible performance by none other than the queen herself Lizzo, was already unbelievable to me. But knowing that I was standing next to Harry as he awaited his entrance cue to join her up on stage to perform Juice together—I was fucking overwhelmed with excitement.

When Harry told me we were going to a Lizzo concert at the end of our trip in Miami, I thought he was kidding. But once I realized he was in fact not kidding, it took me about two seconds to put together the fact that when he told me about this trip in the first place he'd be doing some kind of performance. Once it hit me who he'd be performing with, I swear I shit myself. What I dreamed to be only a possibility is actually happening right before my eyes.

Seeing two of my favorite singers performing together, and already having the honor of getting to meet Lizzo and have a quick chat with her before she went on, I couldn't think of a better way to mark the near end of an already amazing getaway.

This week has been incredible. Just as Harry promised, we took a flight to Michigan the day after my birthday, landing in Kalamazoo about the middle of the day. We opted for staying at my dad's house the entirety of the four days we'd be staying there, knowing that I wouldn't want to spend a moment apart from them while we were there.

Seeing my dad and the twins everyday for four days straight was something I didn't know I needed, but once it was given to me I realized just how well it was doing me. My dad of course was overjoyed to have us, taking any moment he could to just be in my presence whether Harry was with us or not. In fact, on the third day in particular, Harry and my dad apparently coordinated so that Harry would spend the day out with Farrah and Gianna doing whatever it is they wanted to do, while my dad took me out for lunch and just spent some quality father daughter bonding time together. It was really sweet on both of their ends, having the one on one time with my dad, and knowing Harry made no hesitation to let us have that time and took the liberty of hanging out with my sisters just so we could do so.

The entire time we were there, I just felt so warm, so cozy and surrounded by love and comfort. Confiding in my dad about what's been going on and hearing his insightful, yet witty and playful words of encouragement and advice was exactly what I needed. Of course I've loved having my friends help me along and talk me through what's going on in my head, but it's just a different kind of feeling having my dad around to talk to. I guess it was just that incredible closeness I've always had with him, even more than just your classic father daughter relationship, but because he was my main source of parenting growing up, and eventually the only one, I just felt this inseparable connection to him different than anyone else in my life.

As Frenchy from Grease once said, "The only man a girl can depend on is her Daddy."

To balance it out of course, I had the wonderful support of my younger sisters—both of them too humorous and sarcastic for their own good, especially when it comes to our cliché sisterly teasing between each other. But even they listened to me vent about what's been going on in my head, offering any support they could considering they were only 15 and they had a lot more life to live before they truly understood just how dark the world can be, even going through the troubles of dealing with a mother like ours. Still, they made me feel loved and cared for just as well, only reminding me once more how lucky I am to have them.

The biggest talk I had with my dad though, happened on our very last night there, before we had to catch our flight for Miami the next morning. I told him about Harry's offer to help me open my own flower business and travel along with him on tour to do so. He was of course very supportive of whatever decision I made, but he made it very obvious which direction he thought I should go in.