Bend The Rules , Stiles Stilinski ² ✓

[ 60 ] where she belongs

WHERE SHE BELONGS

   

                 IT was the middle of the afternoon, and in Eichen house, that also meant it was time for the daily group therapy with the councillor.

Aspen was sat on the opposite side to Stiles, refusing to meet his gaze that was lingering on her. She nervously fidgeted with her fingers, unable to twizzle any rings since they were taken away along with the rest of the clothes she arrived in. Her leg absentmindedly bobbed up and down as she kept her eyes locked on a patch of the ground, not looking at anyone at all.

"I want to go back to the topic of guilt today." Morell announced, much to Aspen's dismay, "It might surprise you to hear me say that guilt is a good thing— it's a rather mature emotion."

Aspen wanted to believe that— that guilt was a good thing, but it was hard to think that when she quite literally felt her stomach churn with nausea every second of the day. Even more so when she allowed herself to lock eyes with the one boy she didn't want near her for her own good.

"Malia, you said something about guilt the other day." Morell continued, "You said it came with a visceral reaction."

"I said it made me feel sick to my stomach..." Malia clarified.

"Guilt often becomes physical." said Morell, "You feel it in your gut. It's not just psychological."

Aspen silently nodded to herself as she swallowed a lump in her throat, her palms quickly growing sweaty. She was beyond uncomfortable.

"How does guilt make you feel, Aspen?"

The brunette snapped her head up, her eyes widening in a state that matched horror. She made sure the only pair of eyes she met were Morell's.

"I'm sorry, what?" her voice broke a little as it came out hardly a whisper.

"Guilt— what does it make you feel?"

"What, are you feeling nostalgic for the good old days, Morell?" Aspen deflected, avoiding answering the question, "we're not in the old guidance office at Beacon Hills High anymore."

"I know that," Morell replied, completely unaffected by Aspen's sarcastic deflection, "now, guilt. How does it make you feel?"

Aspen pursed her lips, prying her eyes off of the woman and back to the floor. She bobbed her knee up and down nervously, feeling multiple pairs of eyes staring at her— but there was only one she could feel straight to her core. She could feel Stiles' eyes on her the whole time, making her even more on edge.

"Guilt makes me feel like I'm being eaten up from the inside out." Aspen finally answered in a quiet mutter, "It makes me feel like I can't eat anything, or sleep— or even breathe..."

"Do you suffer panic attacks?" Morell pressed further. The question made Aspen lift her head up once more, and for the first time since she first laid eyes on him this morning— she looked directly at Stiles. The pale boy looked like his heart was shattering with every word. Aspen knew Stiles had always had it rough with panic attacks, he had them a lot as a kid after the passing of his mother, and then one earlier this year...

"No," Aspen spoke at a whisper, but due to the silence around, it was loud enough. "I— um, I've never had an actual panic attack before..."

Morell paused for a moment, while Aspen and Stiles held their painful gaze for a short moment before Stiles was the one to pry his eyes away this time.