A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S8Pt12 - Barely Getting By

I dreaded the morning as it came. I wasn't able to sleep after last night. As soon as it was light out, people of the Hilltop started to bury more of their dead. I heard that 15 more people died last night, and Maggie wasn't taking it well.
I left the house after I got ready and saw Tara talking to Daryl. He was sitting on the tailgate of a truck parked in front of the steps, and Tara's back was turned to me. Judging from what I was seeing and the posture of both of them, I knew it was about Dwight again.
"... and what I'm saying is that if I had killed him, maybe I would be dead right now..." She said, and Daryl just bowed his head. "Look, do what you gotta do. But know it's just for you.. I'm out."
She then backed away and turned around, only to see me standing behind them. She nodded at me, I nodded back, and she walked off. I took a step down the stairs and walked over to Daryl. He just shook his head at himself, and then looked up again to see me.
"Hi." I said quietly.
"Hey." He said.
I stood in front of him and just remained silent. I wanted to say something, to act normal, but I didn't know how anymore. I still felt lost, like everything was a dream, and I wasn't able to come back. He then sighed and grabbed my hand, and pulled me in between his legs. I turned my head towards him and stared into his eyes. He rested his hands on my hips and I put my hand on his shoulder, and gently caressed his cheek and then tucked his hair behind his ear. I sighed as we just stared at each other, and then I pulled my hand back.
"Listen Kell, I know you're tryna cope with everything, so I'm not taking it personally..." Daryl said, and I just nodded. "Just know, I'm here for you. Anything you need, I got it."
"Really?" I asked quietly, and Daryl nodded. "Okay."
I then leaned forwards and wrapped my arms around Daryl, squeezed him, and took a deep breath. He instantly brought his arms up and squeezed me back.
"I just need a hug, Daryl." I said, and he nodded and rubbed my back soothingly, and I took another deep breath. "For the past few days, nothing has felt real to me. But when I'm with you, like this, I feel it. I know that this is real... thank you." I slowly explained and smiled at myself when I finished.
"Love you Kell." He whispered in my ear and caressed my hair down my back.
"Love you too." I whispered back to him.
I then pulled away from him and looked around the Hilltop. The bodies were almost done being buried, and I saw others cleaning up the mess from the previous night with the Saviors. I then looked at the cage that Maggie made to hold a group of Saviors she held hostage, and it was now empty. They probably escaped last night when Pete and everybody turned, and who knows where they were going now. Then I noticed two piles of guns. Two people were going through the guns, checking them for ammo, and whatever didn't have any they tossed to the side. The pile of guns that were worthless without ammo, and they started to stack higher than what we could you. I then got an idea, and I froze. I didn't realize that I was rubbing Daryl's arm while looking around, so when I stopped, he noticed.
"Kell." He said and touched my arm.
I looked back down at him, and all my thoughts and plans were running through my head. I then patted his shoulder and shook my head.
"We have a problem." I said, and Daryl looked around for what I was talking about. "Ammo, Daryl. We're down to nothing after the attack. We need ammo."
"We know that, Maggie's sending a group out to get more." Daryl said, but I just stared shaking my head.
"That's not the problem.." I said and shook my head, and then looked through the window into Maggie's office when she was talking to Enid and Dianne from the Kingdom, and she was looking frustrated. "I know how to fix it though."
I then stepped back and grabbed Daryl's hand. "Come on, we gotta go." I said.
"Kell, hold up." Daryl said, but stood up anyways.
"Daryl, we don't have time..." I said, but he just stared at me with concerned eyes. "Look I know I've been different, and I'm really trying here, but I know I'm not crazy."
He just titled his head and stared at me, and I could tell he was worried about me, and I hated it.
"I'm not saying that—" Daryl began to say.
"Then stop looking at me like that." I cut him off.
Daryl just bowed his head, sighed, and then looked back at me through his hair that covered his face. I moved his hair out of the way and looked him right in the eyes. Then, I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, and stood up straight as I spoke.
"Please, Daryl, I'm not crazy..." I said, looking back and forth between both of his eyes, and he was watching me. "Now, I've got an idea that could help us a shit ton to win this fight, but I need your help." I then said, and I felt Daryl squeeze my hand back. "Come with me as I talk to Maggie. Hear me out."
Daryl then nodded. He let go of my hand to grab his crossbow and I smiled. He then pointed his arm out, and I nodded as I lead us inside to go talk to Maggie.
We got inside and I overheard Rosita talking about the relay cars outside the walls.
"If the Saviors are coming back, we'll have 10, maybe 15 minutes heads-up." Rosita said.
"And our ammo?" Maggie asked.
"About what we thought." Dianne said. "Not enough to fend off another attack of that size."
I then opened the doors to the office and they all looked at me. I walked forward and Daryl closed the doors behind us.
"Maggie, I have an idea that can change our ammo situation, but I need you to hear me out." I said.
"Go ahead." She said and leaned against her desk.
"The Saviors got to be low on ammo, too. They must've gone through a whole bunch of it getting through the walkers at Sanctuary." I began.
"That puts us all in the same position out there, and there's not a lot of places to find more." Dianne said. "We should go out there before they do, get as much as we can first."
"No! They don't need to go out there, you guys." I said and held out my arms, and they all carefully watched me. I then lowered my arms and looked at all of them. "They have our bullet maker. They can make more." I said calmer.
Rosita disappointedly shook her head and sighed, and Daryl crossed his arms behind me.
"You think the Saviors have what he'd need to make more?" Maggie then asked.
"I don't doubt it. But if they don't, I know where they'd find it." I said.
Maggie just crossed her arms and thought to herself, but I knew what we had to do. I stepped forwards and next to Maggie, and she looked me in the eyes.
"Listen, me and Daryl can go to the Sanctuary tonight. If we don't see anything, we'll come back right away. But it's worth the trip." I tried to convince her. "I know this is what we need to do. This can change everything."
"And if you do see something, if you're right, what will you do then?" Maggie asked.
I bit my tongue, and tilted my head, not liking what I was thinking, but also knew it was the most probable possibility.
"We take away their source. If they don't have him, they're screwed." I said, and just shook my head. "But if we can't get to him, if we can't have him... Then no one does."
Maggie just stared at me and read my face, and then nodded in agreement. I titled my head and nodded back, and she stopped leaning on the desk and stood up.
"Okay." She said.
"Okay... Thank you." I said, and then looked back at Daryl.
He uncrossed his arms and grabbed his crossbow. "What are we waiting for?" He said.
I looked back at Maggie and nodded. "We are going to win this thing, one way or another. I know that." I said to her.
"I know. I trust you." Maggie said, and I felt a smile slowly growing on my face. "Be careful out there, come back quickly." She said.
Both Daryl and I nodded, and we left the room. I then jogged up the stairs to grab our travel backpacks, and came back down without checking on the kids.
"You gonna say goodbye to them?" Daryl asked me as I handed him his bag.
"I can't." I said and shook my head, then wore the backpack on my back. "I know what I need to do, and I just can't... get distracted right now. I have to do this first."
"Okay." Daryl said and nodded his head. "We'll be back soon enough anyways."
"Yeah." I said and nodded my head, and followed Daryl outside. "Yeah..."

~~~~~~~~~~

We got to the outskirts of the Sanctuary and started scouting after dark. We found the back doors to the Sanctuary where several trucks were lined up, and a group of Saviors where moving boxes into the building. Daryl was looking through a pair of binoculars, then he grunted and lowered them.
"Well, looks like you're right. It's up and runnin'." Daryl said.
He handed me the binoculars and I looked through them. Inside the building, there was the exact same machinery that Eugene used to make me my bullet months ago at Alexandria, but a lot more. At this point, Eugene could make hundreds of bullets in just an hour.
"Yep." I said and sighed. "Buckets of casings for Eugene to turn into hundreds of bullets for the Saviors."
I then moved the binoculars towards the people, and saw Eugene finally walk out to boss people around. He was pointing at the boxes then pointing around inside, and the Saviors listened.
"Let's do it now." Daryl said.
I then lowered the binoculars, put them in my bag, and checked my rifle for ammo, which was low. I then attached a silencer on the barrel and slung it over my shoulder. Daryl also checked the ammo to his gun and crossbow, and wore the gun on his back and loaded his crossbow with an arrow. He grabbed a few grenades and flash bangs, and clipped them onto his belt and stashed them in his pocket.
"And remember." I said as I put my backpack back on my back. "We don't take out the machines. We take out the man."
I hated to do this to Eugene, someone I considered a friend before. But he made his choice in this war. I managed to push my emotions to the side, and focused on the task at hand.
We do this, we give the Saviors a disadvantage and us an advantage. And even a small advantage now can mean life or death at the end of the line.