A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S4Pt11 - Nightmares

It was later that night and we were silent. Me and Carl were eating stale cereal and once we were done, we sat in silence again. Carl was sitting on the floor by his dad's feet.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you." Carl apologized.
"It's okay. I get why you're angry." I said.
I looked down at my ring and twisted it, imagining Daryl doing that to his right now.
"Oh God, I miss him." I thought to myself.
Carl just sighed and nudged Rick's foot.
"Dad." He said.
Rick didn't move a muscle. I watched him cautiously as Carl touched his dad's foot again. Rick's hand twitched and a low moan came out of his mouth. Without opening his eyes, he turned his head and reached out towards Carl. He started backing up and I pulled him towards me. Rick turned over, fell off the couch and groaned.
Carl pulled out his gun and aimed it at Rick. We weren't sure if he turned, but didn't want to take the chance.
Carl has fear in his eyes and started crying. Rick weakly grabbed his foot and Carl dropped his gun.
"I can't..." Carl sobbed. "Just do it."
I pulled Carl away from Rick and kicked his hand away. Rick groaned and rolled over.
"Carl...." He groaned. "Don't.. go... outside. Stay.. safe."
Rick wheezed and passed out on the floor. I crawled over to him and checked his pulse which was faint.
"Carl, help me get him on the couch." I said.
I carefully wrapped my arms around Rick's torso and Carl grabbed his legs. We lifted him back onto the couch and Rick gained consciousness.
I ran over to my bag and pulled out medicine and water. I sat on the couch next to Rick and pulled Carl over.
"Lift his head up." I said.
I pulled out my knife and Carl had fear in his eyes.
"Don't worry." I said, and chopped several painkillers into small pieces.
I put the pills into Rick's mouth, then some water, and he slowly swallowed them. I gently shook his face and Rick opened his eyes.
"Hey, stay with me." I said.
I held his face and he looked at me.
"I just gave you a lot of pain meds. Can you eat something?" I asked.
Rick nodded and grabbed the bag of cereal we were eating from earlier. Rick managed to eat some and then groaned in pain.
"You should feel better in a few days. Just rest for now." I said and covered him with a blanket.
He thanked me and soon fell asleep again. I sighed as I slid onto the floor. I wiped my eyes and felt tired, since I haven't slept since the prison.
"We should get some rest too." Carl said.
"Yeah.. yeah okay." I said distantly.
He handed me a blanket and I took it. I wrapped it around me and closed my eyes. Soon I fell asleep, but unaware of the nightmares that would haunt me.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was stuck in the corner of a room and saw Daryl tied down in a chair. I wanted to say something, call out to him, but I couldn't speak.
Then, the door swung open and I saw the Governor, with his eyepatch and evil glare. He walked up to Daryl and punched him in the stomach. Daryl groaned in pain and spit blood on the floor. I tried to move, tried to run to him, but I couldn't move.
Daryl squirmed in the chair and moved his arms, attempting to loosen the rope, but he couldn't.
"You're not going anywhere." The Governor taunted.
The Governor walked over to a table and picked up a saw. He pet the blade and walked back over to Daryl. He grabbed Daryl's hand and slammed it down. I saw the fear in Daryl's eyes and he started yelling. The Governor harshly sawed off his hand and Daryl cried in pain.
I couldn't close my eyes. I was forced to watch Daryl get hurt. This was torture.
The Governor threw Daryl's hand to the side, cleaned the blade, and put it back on the table.
"I'm not going to take off your other hand." He said and wiped his hands with a towel. "You're gonna need it, for when you turn and kill her."
The Governor pointed to a corner, and I saw myself with my hands tied behind my back and a gag in my mouth.
"Kell..." Daryl said.
I saw myself crying and squirm, but I couldn't get up. It was like an out of body experience.
"Kell? Oh Kell! You going to be okay. We will. I love-" Daryl cried.
The Governor cut him off by punching him in the mouth. Daryl spit out blood and looked him in the eyes. The Governor then grabbed his face, made Daryl look at him, and held a knife up to his face. He cut Daryl's cheek and blood ran down his face. Daryl grunted and spit in the Governor's face.
"Fuck you." He muttered.
The Governor snapped and stabbed Daryl in the stomach. He repeatedly stabbed him and Daryl yelled in pain. The Governor left the blade in his stomach and backed away. Daryl was covered in blood and his hands were shaking.
The 'me' that was in the corner still couldn't move and was sobbing. Daryl looked at 'me' and cried. 'I' shook my head and refused to look at Daryl.
Just then, the Governor pulled out a pistol and shot Daryl in the chest. I watched as Daryl took his last breath, and he quickly died.
The Governor looked at the 'me' tied up in the corner, then looked at the actual me. His face was embedded in my brain and I couldn't forget it.
Daryl then reanimated and the Governor set him free. He pointed at the real me and walked Daryl walked over to me.
"No...." I cried.
He got closer with every step. He reached out to me with his single hand and I cried. His eyes were ghostly and his body was cold. I felt the pain when he scratched me. Then he bit my shoulder, and I felt the burning sensation like I actually got bit. I screamed in pain, a scream I've never made before in my life, and it was terrifying.
Then everything went black... Everything went cold... And everything went silent.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and couldn't breathe. I was panting, screaming, and crying. I was clutching my chest, hoping for air, but wasn't getting any.
"I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" I thought.
I wheezed and screamed and cried, not able to control it.
I was having a panic attack, likely caused by that horrible nightmare. All I could think about was watching Daryl die. I held my head and curled into a ball, and kept screaming. I felt weaker every second and felt like I was going to die.
"Dad, what's happening!?" Carl asked, worried about me.
"I don't know! Just calm her down!" Rick yelled.
Carl didn't know what to do. I felt Rick grab my hand and then turned my head. I looked at him frantically and couldn't stop crying.
"Kelley, you're okay. Calm down. It's me." Rick said, trying to sooth me.
His voice sounded distant and slow to me, and I couldn't focus on his face. Then I stopped screaming, realizing that I wasn't stuck in my nightmare anymore, but I was still crying.
"You're okay." I heard Carl say.
Rick pulled me into his embrace and I sobbed into his chest. I grabbed his shirt and held onto him, scared to let go.
"Daryl..." I cried.
I let out a long sob and shook my head.
"Shhh." Rick said and pet my hair. "You're okay now. Just relax."
I tried to catch my breath, but it was hard, and I was still having trouble breathing. With Rick soothing me and Carl rubbing my back I eventually calmed down awhile later.
I cried so much at this point I didn't have anything left. I wiped the last of my tears and took a deep breath. I rested my head in Rick's lap and looked out the window. It was early morning and the sun was still rising.
It was now a new day... and another day without Daryl.