A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S4Pt16 - Follow the Tracks

I was hyperventilating again.
You'd think after a month of having them, I'd wake up already knowing but I didn't.
I was terrified by what I saw, and the images haunted me. I sobbed and covered my face, trying not to see. My vision was blurred from the tears. I was clutching my chest, trying to get in air, but I couldn't breathe.
I saw Daryl panicking by my side, not knowing what to do.
"Hey, she can't breathe!" Daryl yelled.
Michonne opened the doors to the van and I stared at her, my eyes begging for her to help me.
"What's happening?" Daryl asked.
"Just calm her down. Now!" She said.
Michonne grabbed my hands that were shaking and Daryl held my face and looked me in the eyes.
"Kell, it's me. I'm here. You're okay." He said, but he was still panicking.
He slowly caressed my cheek and I felt myself coming back. My breathing slowed and soon I stopped crying. I laid down, resting my head in his lap, and he pet my hair and soothed me. I was slowly falling asleep again, because my eyes lids were getting heavy, but I tried to stay awake.
"What happened?" I heard Daryl quietly ask Michonne.
"Panic attack. Rick told me she's been having them ever since the prison." Michonne said.
"Why does she get them?" He asked.
"Nightmares. Really bad ones. Everything that's happened since the beginning, it's all catching up to her." Michonne said. "She'd go days without sleeping, but when she had to sleep, she'd wake up having that."
"Like what?" Daryl asked. "Anything specific?"
"She told us only a few. Things like the prison, the Governor, Hershel, Judith, you... Even her family. My guess is that tonight was about that group you were with." Michonne said.
"What about me?" Daryl asked, curious.
Michonne sighed and spoke. "You being tortured and killed, and she couldn't do anything about it. She just had to watch you die over and over again."
I felt Daryl shivered and wrap his arms around me. He held my hand and felt my ring.
"I'm so sorry." Daryl whispered.
I slowly blinked my eyes and then closed them. I felt myself drifted back into a sleep and Daryl was rubbing my back.
"But I'm here now." He said. "We made it."
Those are the words I fell asleep to. I knew that I could have another nightmare, but his words protected me.
Because, we made it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up the next morning and saw Daryl was just watching me.
"Good morning." I said.
"You okay?" He asked.
I nodded my head and kissed him. He kissed me back and wrapped his arms around me. I then reached into my pocket and pulled out the picture of Daryl.
"Ha. I remember this." He said and held the photo.
I nodded and took the photo back before he could keep it.
"This is the only thing that kept me going. But, I nearly lost hope. I gave up. I was done..." I whispered the last part. "Last night, I hoped that guy would shoot me. I was ready. I-"
Daryl caressed my cheek and shook his head.
"Then you showed up. You saved me." I said and kissed his hand. "Thank you."
Daryl lifted my chin and leaned in for a kiss. He kissed me deeply and the world seemed to stop.
"I love you Kell." He said. "I'm not going anywhere."
I nodded and kissed him one more time. "I love you too."
"Awww." I heard Carl say from the front seat.
I looked at him and actually smiled. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him playfully. He smiled and threw it back. I put it down and opened the doors to the van.
The sun hit my skin and it was nice and bright outside. I stood on the road and took in the air. I turned the corner and saw Rick still sitting in the same spot as last night. Daryl grabbed a bottle of water and a rag and walked over to Rick. He poured the water on the rag and tried to hand it to Rick.
"We should save it." Rick said.
"Too late." Daryl said.
Rick sighed and took the rag, and began wiping all the blood off his face and beard. Daryl sat down next to Rick and I sat next to him. Daryl leaned against the car and sighed.
"I didn't know who they were." Daryl said.
"How'd you wind up with them?" Rick asked.
"I was with Beth after the prison. We went from place to place, then..." Daryl said and sighed.
I tensed at Beth's name and couldn't help but shiver. I froze and remember what I said about her.
"He just ran off... with Beth... He left me for Beth.. Why the fuck did you run away, with Beth! I thought you loved me. And now I'll never see you again!"
Daryl noticed my uneasiness and touched my hand. I flinched but when I saw him I tried my best to smile, but we both knew it was fake. Before Daryl could talk, Rick asked if she was dead.
"She's just gone. I tried to find her, but that's when the found me in the middle of the road... I mean, I knew they were bad. They weren't like us, but they had a code. It was simple... simple and stupid." Daryl said.
"What was it?" I asked.
Daryl looked at me and sighed. "You don't lie, and you get what you claim first. That why last night, I said you were claimed. They shouldn't have touched you, but they still did that to you." He said, and I saw he was still upset.
I rubbed his shoulder and hugged his arm.
"You were alone." Rick said.
"Yeah... they said they were looking for some guy, said they spotted him. I was gonna bail, but I didn't. Then they led my to you guys." Daryl said and sighed. "I didn't know what they could do."
"It's not on you Daryl." Rick said and looked at him. "Hey, it's not on you." He reassured. "You being with us here, now, that's everything."
Daryl looked back at him and nodded his head.
"You're my brother." Rick said.
Daryl nodded and they shook hands.
"Hey, what you did last night..." Daryl said. "Anyone would've done that."
"No. Not that." Rick sighed.
"Something happened. That ain't you." Daryl said.
"You saw what I did to Tyreese. That isn't all, but that's me." Rick said.
They both sighed and went silent. I stood up and dusted on my jeans. I held my hand out to Daryl and pulled him up.
"Let's take anything from these guys and prepare to leave. Terminus is close, maybe only a days walk." I said serious. "I didn't see it before, but I do now. There's hope out here."
Daryl nodded and started gathering supplies. I helped Rick up, but before he walked away I held onto his hand.
"You are okay, okay Rick. We're going to be okay." I said.
He nodded but I didn't believe him.
"Tell me you're okay." I ordered.
"I'm okay." He said.
I tilted my head and he rested his hand on my shoulder. "I am okay."
I smiled and nodded. "We better get going then." I said.
We all grabbed our supplies and hit the road. We continued following the tracks for the next few hours. Rick and Michonne were leading. Daryl's hand was intertwined with mine as we walked behind them, and Carl was behind us. Then all of a sudden, I felt sick to my stomach. I ran off the tracks and threw up in the bushes. Everyone stopped and stared at me, waiting for me to walk back.
"Are you feeling okay?" Daryl asked.
He felt my forehead with his hand and I nodded. My stomach started cramping and I held it. I looked up at Daryl and I knew what he was thinking.
"Don't..." I said.
"Kelley, are you-" Daryl said.
"I don't know." I said. "Maybe..."
"How long have you been feeling like this?" He asked.
I sighed and he stared at me. "Around a month now." I said.
Daryl sighed and I saw he was actually worried now. I looked over and saw that Rick nodded his head at me, because I'm pretty sure he already knew. Carl looked at me surprised, not expecting this news. Daryl then held out his hand and I stared at him.
"Come on." He said.
I grabbed his hand and he pulled me in for a hug. I sighed when I felt his arms wrap around me.
"It's okay. Whatever happens, we're gonna be fine." He said.
I nodded and we started walking again. My stomach was still cramping but I dealt with the pain. A little farther down the tracks, we saw a fallen sign and it was from Terminus.
"We're getting closer." Daryl said.
"We'll take through the forest. Don't want them to see us coming." Rick said.
We walked towards the left and into the forest. We snuck through and approached a chain link fence that separated a building from the woods. It was a huge building surrounded by smaller ones and the word 'TERMINUS' was written in big bold lettering on the side.
It looked to be the main train station that everyone would stop at, back before the apocalypse started.
I sighed with relief and everyone stared at the building with amazement.
"We made it." I said.
We really made it.