A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S4Pt14 - Ambushed

It's been a few weeks now since the prison and since we had to leave the neighborhood we were staying in.
So far there have been no signs of those guys following us, but we were always on our guard. We never stayed in one place for more than a couple days, and were constantly on the run.
My nightmares have been a reoccurring thing. I was haunted by memories of Daryl, the prison and farm, even my old life. I was barely able to sleep anymore. I'd be able to go a couple days before I needed to, but when I closed my eyes, all I had were nightmares. I was exhausted all the time, and was getting weak.
I am weak.
I've missed my period this month, but didn't worry because I've been under a lot of stress. Hell, we were constantly stressed and it was common for me to miss a few. I've also been nauseous and getting frequent headaches, but I blamed it on malnutrition. I've been cramping and having mood swings, but I blamed it on the period I never got.
I doubted the obvious because I refused to believe it. It couldn't be possible, not in a world like this. I wasn't ready. I was alone. So I couldn't be...
"Could I?"

~~~~~~~~~~

We were following train tracks that we hoped would lead to something useful. Carl was balancing on the tracks before he quit and started walking next to Michonne.
"Crazy cheese?" Carl said.
He pulled out a spray can of cheese and handed it to Michonne. She politely declined and he put away the cheese.
I was walking behind the group and keeping to myself. I was more grumpy than usual today and tired.
I noticed Rick walking over to an abandoned train car that had a tarp on it. We pushed away the tarp and wiped away some dirt when we saw a map.
"What's this?" I wondered out loud, brushing my fingers over the spray paint.
"A map of tracks. To Terminus, it seems like." Rick said.
"Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive." Carl read the message under the map aloud.
"What do you think?" I asked.
Rick sighed heavily and looked down the tracks, then back at us.
"This is good. The rest of the group could've seen this." Michonne said.
"Daryl could've seen it." Carl said and looked at me.
They all stared at me and I sighed. I just shrugged my shoulders and didn't respond. Rick unraveled the bandages that were on his hand and tossed them to the ground.
"Let's go." He said.
We all followed Rick and I managed to keep up with Rick who was leading us. I grabbed my side as it started cramping and sighed.
"You feeling okay?" Rick asked.
"Yeah, it's just... I don't know." I said.
"You know, I remember when Lori was preg-" Rick started to say.
"Don't." I cut him off. "Please, don't say it."
Rick looked at me, slowly looked at my stomach, then nodded his head.
We kept walking and followed the tracks for the rest of the night. It was getting to dusk and decided to set up camp for the night. We found an abandoned van and stopped there. I gathered enough wood and started a small fire in front of the van. We all sat on the road around the fire and warmed up. I leaned against the front of the car and yawned. I blinked my eyes a couple times, but refused to shut them.
"Kelley, you can rest now." Rick said.
"You know I can't Rick." I said and shook my head. "I can't close my eyes..."
I saw them look at me with sad eyes and I hated it. I didn't want to be pitied. Rick then opened his bag and sorted some supplies.
"What do you got left?" He asked Carl.
He opened his bag and pulled out a few things.
"A water bottle, a few batteries. Some food." He said.
I squeezed his shoulder and nodded. "Anything helps at this point."
"What about you Kelley?"
I opened my bag and rummaged through my stuff. "Some food. Another water bottle. A little bit of medicine. Little ammo, and..." I said and sighed. "That's it."
"It'll help us for awhile longer. We just have to keep moving." Rick said.
We all nodded in agreement and Michonne got up. "I'll take first watch. Get some rest."
We nodded and she turned around to look out in the distance. Carl wrapped a blanket around him and laid down, slowly falling asleep. I yawned one more time and leaned against the van. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I ended up falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

We were at the prison still and everything felt normal. Daryl and I were sitting in the grass together. I sat in his lap and he rested his head on my shoulder. We were laughing together and everything was perfect.
I felt him warm touch on my hands and breath on my neck from laughing. I held up my hand and admired my ring.
"I still can't believe you said yes." Daryl said.
I laughed and held his hand. "Why wouldn't I say yes? I love you."
Daryl smiled at me and kissed my cheek. He then got up and stretched.
"Where you going?" I asked.
"I gotta go do something. Don't worry. I'll be back in no time." He said.
I nodded and watched him walk away. A few minutes later I heard a single gunshot. I automatically jumped up and ran to the noise. I ran up to the courtyard where I saw the group huddled together. I walked closer and saw Rick turn around.
"Kelley, no." He said.
He tried to hold me back but I pushed him away. I fought my way through the crowd and was horrified by what I saw in the middle.
It was Daryl.
He was dead with a single bullet going through his head. Glenn walked over to me and hugged me, and I started crying.
"No!!" I cried.
I fell to the ground at his side and put my hands on his chest. I began CPR, but I was crazy to think that it would work. He was already dead. Rick wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back.
"Daryl!" I cried. "No!!"
Then everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up hyperventilating and crying. I was grabbing my chest, trying to catch my breath, but I couldn't. Rick instantly ran over to my side and held my face.
"Kelley, you're okay. Calm down." He said.
I kept crying and closed my eyes. I shook my head and looked at the ground.
"Kelley, we need to be quiet. We're not alone out here." Rick said.
I slowly nodded and calmed down in a few minutes. I sat up and leaned back against the car. I wiped my tears and caught my breath.
"Was it about Daryl again?" He asked.
I looked at him and nodded. He pulled me in for a hug and I rested my head against his chest.
"We'll find him." Rick tried to assure me.
"He's gone." I whispered. "They're all gone."
Everything was silent and Michonne threw another log into the fire. I sat up and warmed up my hands, and slowly started calming down from my nightmare.
"Have you noticed that we don't even laugh anymore?" I said. "We're not even living anymore. Just breathing."
They sighed but ended up agreeing with me.
"We're close to Terminus." Rick said. "Maybe another day or two. We will be able to relax there."
"We don't know that." I mumbled.
"If these people are taking people in, they have to be strong. Have some kind of system." Rick said.
"I wonder if the whole thing is legit." Michonne said.
Then we heard a snap of a branch in the woods. Everything was silent as we looked into the forest. Rick pulled out his gun and carefully looked around.
"What was that?" I whispered.
Rick sat back down and shook his head. He spoke and picked up the conversation.
"We took people in." Rick said.
"Yeah, so did the Governor." I said.
"Maybe the place isn't even there anymore." Michonne said. "But we don't know till we find out."
We were silent again until we heard a click of a gun.
"Oh, dearie me." We heard a man's voice say.
We saw a man holding a gun to Rick's head, and then a whole group of men emerged from the woods. Michonne picked up her sword but a guy ran up and kicked it away. I grabbed my gun but another guy aimed his at me, and I had no choice but to drop it. He kicked it away and I sat there. Someone else grabbed Carl out from under the blanket and he started panicking.
"You screwed up asshole." The man with the gun said. "You hear me? You screwed up."
He laughed at us, but we just stared at him with no emotions.
"Today is the day of reckoning sir. Of restitution. A balancing of the whole damn universe... Shit, and I was thinking of turning in for the night, on New Years Eve." He laughed.
Everyone else laughed too, except for me, Rick, Carl, and Michonne. I looked over and saw Carl was struggling underneath the guy who was pinning him on the ground.
"Now who's gonna count the ball drop with me?" The man asked. "10... 9... 8... 7... 6..."
"Stop." I shouted.
The man by my side pushed the gun closer to my head and they stared at me. I stared him down and didn't flinch.
I wasn't scared to die anymore. I had no reason to live.
"Joe!" A gruff voice said in the distance.
I shivered at the sound of the voice. It sounded so distant, yet familiar. The person with the gruff voice appeared from behind the van and stood in front of us. He scanned the group then his eyes landed on me.
I was frozen in shock.
"Kell?"