A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S9Pt20 - Family Dinner

Time has felt like it's flown by. Westwood Crossing has been booming with success. It seems like my luck was finally turning around. There's been no sickness, no attacks, no losses. Everyone was living together peacefully. The animals have bred and grown. A couple months ago, Forrest helped us set up solar power in a few of our buildings. Today the crops started looking big and colorful, meaning it was close to harvest time, and that marked our beginning of fall.
Today, Judith and I were at the well together filling up some buckets for the horses. It was a warm day with a nice breeze, and a flock of birds flew over our heads. I filled up the last bucket and looked up at the sky, and Judith copied me.
"I love this time of year. It's my favorite." Judith said.
"Mine too." I said and smiled down at Judith. "Hey, in just a few more days, we have the Fall Festival. Are you ready?"
"I'm so excited." Judith said and laughed.
I started laughing with her and then we began walking the buckets over to the horse pen. I let her duck between the fence and take the water in the pen, and the horses loved to follow her and nudge her while she worked.
"Hey, be nice." Judith laughed as one of the horses tipped the now empty bucket out of her hand.
"Wow, that was rude mister." I called out to the horse.
"I know, right." Judith said and laughed as she walked back over to me.
"Kelley, we got a stranger in our sights. He's found the road to us." Doc said over the walkie talkie.
"You got a go bag for him?" I asked.
"I can get one." Doc said, and I heard him talking to Jax. "Hey man, boss lady said get a go bag."
"You sure?" I heard Jax ask.
"Just go get the damn thing." Doc said to Jax, and then responded to me. "We're on it."
"Okay, I'm just about finished here. I'll be right on over, just to make sure the hand off goes fine." I said.
"We'll be here." Doc said, and then the radio went silent.
Judith then ducked through the fence again and stacked the empty buckets against the wall of the shelter. She then clapped the dirt off her hands and I held my arm out to her. She walked forwards and I wrapped arm around her shoulder.
"Judy, I gotta get to the front gate. How about you, Georgia, and Lee get ready for training today. Tell them we'll start at noon." I said.
"Okay Mom." Judith nodded and began walking back towards the house.
"And keep your walkie talkie on you in case you need to get a hold of me." I called out.
"Okay." Judith said and held up her thumb.
I just smiled at her and was about to start walking to the front gates when my walkie talkie beeped at me, and I heard Montgomery's voice come through.
"Kelley, I'm on the south side of the fence line, and I'm noticing some dead ones showing up." He said.
"How many?" I asked. "They see you?"
"No. I don't know, it's hard to tell...." Montgomery said.
"Keep an eye on them." I said. "If they're within range, take 'em out. I'll be over there as soon as I can."
"Copy." Montgomery said and the radio went silent.
I just grumbled to myself under my breath and kept walking towards the front gate, which was just coming into view.
"This guy doesn't want the go bag. He's just looking for someone." Doc said over the radio.
"The hell you mean?" I asked.
"I don't know man. We gave him the bag but he's not leaving." Doc said, and I could hear the annoyance in his voice.
"He kinda looks sketchy." I then heard Jax say. "I don't like the looks of the guy, boss."
"Yeah, I gotcha... I'm walking up right now." I said and clipped the walkie talkie onto my belt.
I then saw Roman and Martin walk out their houses and towards the front gates just like me. I jogged up to them and held up my arms.
"You guys going to the front gates too?" I asked.
"Yeah, Jax radioed us." Roman said.
"It's just one guy, I don't get it." Martin said.
"You never know. Some people just get that feeling. Better to trust it then to ignore it." Roman said.
"Well, let's figure this shit out then." I said, and we kept walking toward the front gates.
Once we got there, things were quiet, and Doc sighed with relief when he saw me. He was standing on the platform and was waving me up.
"I'll be on the ground. Martin, you're with me." Roman said, and I saw him rest his hand on his pistol.
"No problem, man." Martin said and also checked his holster for his gun.
"Don't act unless I say so." I whispered to them. "Don't make a problem where there isn't one."
"Yup." Roman said.
I then began walking over to the steps as they slightly opened the second gate to meet the stranger in the space between the gates.
"Kelley, there's a lot of them..." I then heard Montgomery say through the radio. "Shit, they're coming from the woods."
"How many are there?" I asked.
"Who was that?" I then finally heard the stranger speak, and his voice was loud and deep. "What'd he say?"
"A couple dozens. I don't fucking know, but we gotta take them out." Montgomery said.
"Montgomery, they're here." I heard Paige call out.
I then saw that Hans, Trey, Peaches, Luke, and Parker jogging towards the south end of Westwood with their weapons drawn.
"Hey, hey, calm down." I heard Roman saying.
"Shit." I muttered as I looked at the group running off, then back at the gates.
"What did he say?" I heard the stranger keep asking.
"Woah, put it down." I then heard Jax said and raise his rifle.
In a matter of seconds I heard voices talking over each other and the issue at the gate escalated quickly. I then heard a dog start barking violently, and I became very interested in who was at the gate. I then quickly ran up the stairs to stand on the platform to try and calm everyone down.
"Hey, hey, hey! Everyone shut the hell up!" I called out and raised up my arms.
They all got quiet and I slowly lowered my arms as I looked down at Roman, Martin, and the stranger all aiming their weapons at each other down on the ground below me. But, to my surprise, the stranger wasn't actually a stranger. I knew him, and the dog.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked myself, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"I knew it..." The guy said. "Kell."
"Kell?" Doc asked as he still had his gun aimed.
"Kell?" Martin also said and looked at the guy.
"Who?" Roman asked. "What the hell is going on here?" He asked and quickly glanced up at me.
I couldn't form any words as I just scoffed and locked eyes with him. He slowly lowered his crossbow, but that didn't mean shit to the guys here who had my back.
"Kelley, who is he?" Jax asked me.
I just shook my head and crossed my arms. "He's my husband... he's my fucking husband." I said.
Everyone was silent after I announced that, and yet Daryl was still standing in the middle of my guys' line of fire.
"Kell, can you tell them to put down the guns." He asked.
"No." I blatantly said.
"I'm not here to cause trouble." He said.
"I don't care." I said, and we both paused for a long moment. "What do you want?" I finally asked.
"I've been out here trying to find you." Daryl said.
"Why?" I scoffed at him.
"I want to fix things. I've done a lot of thinking, and I've known I needed to... I just want to make things right Kell." He said.
"Well, you're about a few years too late." I said.
We were silent as we stared at each other, and then I broke the eye contact to look at Roman.
"Roman." I said calmly, to my surprise.
"Yeah?" He asked and looked away from Daryl to look up at me.
"Make sure he leaves." I said and turned around.
"Kell, wait, please." Daryl called out to me.
As soon as I heard him raise his voice, something inside of me broke and I was no longer calm.
"No!" I turned around and pointed at him. "You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do!" I yelled at him, and everyone was shocked. "Now, I got a fucking problem to handle, and you need to go. I don't want you here. I don't need you. I don't give a shit about anything. Just go!"
I then turned around and stomped down the steps and began running to the south end on the community where I knew the walkers were. I needed something to distract my mind. I needed to kill.
I started to hear gunfire, and I knew something bad has happened over here. In the distance, I heard shouting and the growls of the dead became louder than the gunfire. Once I showed up, I realized that a huge cluster of walkers must've leaned on the fence because it was torn down. Walkers were crawling over the cement walls and crushing the chain link under them.
"Damn it!" I cursed out loud and instantly pulled out my gun. "Don't let them past us!"
We started fighting back and the walkers' bodies were piling up everywhere, but more were still coming. I saw another huge group was coming out of the woods and I knew the fence could not take much more weight.
"We need to attack from both sides!" I yelled out over the gunfire. "Hans, Trey, on me!"
I instantly began rushing towards the breach in the fence and shooting down any walkers in my way, and I saw the guys were following me. I made it to the fence and quickly jumped over the concrete slabs. Now on the other side of the fence, I ran along the fence line to the last group of walkers and began splitting them up.
"Come on, fuckers!" I yelled out and raised my arms. "Come on."
I got their full attention and started leading them away from the fence as I started shooting them down. The first walker reached me and I shot it in the head, and down it went. Another one lunged for me, and I raised my gun to shoot it, but the barrel clicked and I was out of ammo. At this moment, I realized how much I wished I had my blade connected to me right now. I then grunted as I ducked underneath the walkers arms and bashed it in the back of the head with my pistol. Quickly I put my empty gun away in its holster and pulled out my knife. I heard growling close from behind me and was about to turn around to stab it when I heard an arrow whiz through the air. Now in front of me, I saw the walker on the ground with an arrow through its head.
I pricked my head up to look in the direction the arrow came, and saw Daryl loading up another arrow. He watched me as he held up his crossbow and shot another walker that was coming for me. I grunted out of anger and turned away from him and began slicing down more of the walkers. Daryl's dog, Dog, now ran into the middle of the fire fight, biting walkers ankles and dragging them down to the floor so I could stab them easier. For the last remaining group of walkers, everyone helped kill the rest, and soon the fighting stopped. I let out a deep breath as I put my knife away and couldn't help but stare at the blood on my hand.
I then looked around at the bodies surrounding us, and then at the breach in the fence. My heart dropped when I saw it, but I knew we'd be able to fix it fairly quickly. I just hated how these walkers snuck up on us and blew though our defenses. This never happened to us yet. We've been careful and safe. My luck's been good... Until Daryl showed up.
"Kelley." Hans said, because he saw how tense I was.
"Kelley." Roman then said, and I realized he just ran over here from the front gates.
Just by my body language, I think everyone could tell I was going to explode in about three seconds. I clenched my hand into a fist and my arm started shaking. I then slowly turned around and looked straight in front of me, and came face to face with Daryl. We were about six feet apart, but even that was too close for me right now.
"I told you to go." I said through gritted teeth.
Daryl just sighed and stared at me, then set down his crossbow. "I know... but I couldn't, Kell."
"Stop calling me that!" I raised my voice at him. "You lost that privilege. You lost everything from me."
Daryl was silent and was taking the yelling from me, because he knew he deserved it, yet that made me even more angry.
"Don't you remember what I told you?" I yelled at him, and he nodded sadly. "I said, I don't care what you fucking do, or where you go, or even if you die. I told you to leave us alone!"
"I know—" Daryl began to say.
"No, you don't fucking know, because you're still here! I don't want you here!" I told him. "Why don't you ever listen? Haven't you done enough?"
"I do know. I know you're angry—" Daryl began to say and held his hand out in front of him.
I then took a single threatening step forwards and pointed my finger at him. "I am not angry Daryl!" I yelled at him, and felt myself wanting to cry. "I am in pain! And you put me here! The one person who was supposed to love me... more than anything... YOU did this to me!"
I felt the first tears fall from my eyes and slide down my cheeks, and Daryl just stared at me. I squeezed my eyes closed and more tears streamed down my face but I quickly wiped them away. Daryl then put his hand on his chest and took a small step forwards, and I automatically backed away defensively.
"Kelley, please..." Daryl said. "I'll do anything to prove to you that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did... Please, give me a chance."
"You think just because you say that and act all innocent I'm going to forgive you?" I then yelled at him again.
"No." Daryl said. "But I have to try."
"Bullshit!" I yelled at him. "You are so full of shit!"
"I'm not lying Kelley. Really." Daryl said and looked me straight in the eyes. "I swear, I'll do anything. Whatever you want... You're all I have left."
I instantly stomped forwards and now stood only inches from Daryl. I chest bumped him which made him step backwards, but I pushed him back even further. Dog then started barking at me, but Daryl held down his hand to stop Dog.
"You only want me back when it's convenient for you, huh?" I yelled at him. "Huh, is that right?"
"Kelley." Daryl said softly.
"You think you can just wander back into my life like nothing happened?" I yelled and pushed him again.
"Kelley." Daryl said again, but he kept his hands down and didn't fight back this time.
"You left me! Left US!" I yelled at him and pushed him back on final time, and then I just started at him. "I lost my husband, and the father of my children, and YOU have the fucking nerve to tell me how broken you are! I didn't get to fall apart, because I had three kids to take care of with no help from you, you fucking asshole!!" I finally screamed at him.
Daryl remained silent and let me vent to him, but I still had to hold myself back from getting too angry. My own scream ached my heart and I felt myself wanting to shatter here in front of everyone. Having to feel all these emotions once again, so quickly, with no warning was tearing me up. I didn't know if I was able to take it anymore, I was going to explode.
"I understand." Daryl then said, and then laid his hand on his chest. "...If it helps, hit me."
I was so caught off guard I stopped moving and just stared at him. I felt a tear sliding down my cheek, but I was too shocked at what he said to even wipe it away.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"I deserve it..." Daryl said. "and I know you want to... so if it helps, do it." Daryl said.
My mouth fell open in shock and I just scoffed at him. "I'm not going to hit you, you're not worth it." I spat at him.
I then turned around and bowed my head. Before I even knew what I was doing, my emotions took over as I clenched my hand into a fist and spun back around. I raised my fist high and my punch hit Daryl directly in the jaw. He groaned out in pain and slumped over and almost fell to the ground. I then heard the group behind me gasp in shock, and the punch was so hard that they probably could feel it themselves.
I then let out a frustrated yell, turned around furiously, and crossed my arms over my head. I began pacing back and forth and saw everyone who was there was just watching me. I then took in big, deep breaths, and everyone saw my pacing slowly stop. My hand was aching and I flexed my fingers to make sure they still worked as I breathed through the pain.
I then closed my eyes and thought for a long minute. When I opened my eyes, the first person I made contact with was Hans. Despite the circumstances, I couldn't help but think of the moments we've shared together. For the past year, we've gotten closer and I developed feelings for him, but neither of us have done anything to act on them.
Before I even had the chance to anymore, Daryl was back, and I was torn between the two. Then I thought of all the pain and hurt I've been through with Daryl, and no matter what has happened I still know there has been so much good that has outweighed the bad.
For years and years, Daryl and I have been through the worse with each other. I didn't ever think it would've happened but it did, yet here we are again. I've been through too much to forgive him, and a part of me thinks I never will. But, from the second I met Daryl Dixon, there was a part of me that was made just for him. That is something I can never forget or deny, and I knew that a hundred percent. It was also something that I began to hate.
I then turned around and stared at Daryl, and he was silently staring back at me. He had some blood smeared from his mouth, and I saw how much he was in pain right now. But no matter what he was feeling, it wasn't even close to the pain I've felt for the last few years. I then dropped my arms back down to my sides and finally spoke to him again.
"I have work I need to do. The fence is down, bodies are everywhere..." I said and cleared my throat, and wiped away the last of my tears. "You will go back to the gates and wait for me. If you really want to try and fix anything, that's what you'll do." I said.
Daryl nodded and looked at the mess around us. "I can help." He then said and held his jaw.
"What you can do is fucking listen." I said and pointed a finger at him. "This is my fucking home. You have no say in anything. These are my people, and they follow me, not you. You don't mean shit to anyone here, got it... You are fucking scum of the earth and you're only still standing here because I fucking said so!" I said and tilted my head menacingly at him. "You will stay there until I come get you. If I do, then we can try, but if I'm not back by dusk, then... well you already know how to leave... You've done it before." I told him.
Daryl was silent as he nodded, and I slowly crossed my arms. I then took a step back and stared at him before taking two more.
"Okay." I said.
I then turned around and looked at my group, and everyone stared at me in shock. I then cleared my throat and pointed at Roman, and he nodded at me.
"Take him back. Once it hits dusk, if I'm not done yet, send him off." I ordered.
"Yes ma'am." He said, and rested his hand on his pistol as he walked over to Daryl. "Let's go." He said.
Daryl just slowly nodded and grabbed his crossbow, took one more look at me, and then turned around with Roman. As they walked back to the gates, I looked at the fence and then at everybody else.
"Alright, show's over. Everybody get to work." I said.
Without any complaints, everyone nodded and began cleaning up the mess. Now, I knew it was going to take awhile to clean this up, but a part of me worked slower hoping that dusk would be here soon.