A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S2Pt4 - The Church

We were walking in the woods looking for any signs of Sophia. Rick and Daryl were leading in front. Lori and Carl were walking together behind them, and Carl was rambling on about a memory from his childhood. I was walking behind Andrea, and Shane was walking behind and watching our backs.
Shane caught up to me eventually and I could feel his frustration. Daryl kept looking back at me to make sure I was okay. I was trying my best to keep up, but my leg was still a little bit sore. Bud was helping to keep me steady by walking right by my side. Glenn, T-Dog, Carol, and Dale decided to stay back this time and watch over the camp, and hoping that maybe Sophia would show up back there.
"Hurry up." Shane said.
"I'm trying. My leg still hurts." I said and glared at him.
"You shouldn't even be out here then." He said and glared back at me.
"I need to be here. It's my fault she's out here." I said.
Shane just grunted and walked close behind me, as if that was going to make me walk faster. Being distracted and hurried by Shane, I stepped wrong, felt a tingling sensation in my leg, and lost my balance. Before I fell completely and hit the ground, a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back up. I looked over and it was Shane, still with an annoyed look.
"Thanks." I muttered.
"Welcome." He said. "How about you watch our six." He then said and walked to the front with Rick.
Daryl saw me almost fall, and once Shane walked by Rick he came back to check on me.
"You alright?" He asked.
I nodded and grabbed his arm to help steady me while I walked. "My leg is just starting to hurt. I'll be fine though, I can keep going."
"I know you can." He said.
When no one was paying attention, Daryl wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight. I kept my hand on his arm, and he was holding me close."
"I'm right here if you need me for anything." He said while letting go and walking normally next to me.
The group kept on moving, and we didn't find any new signs of Sophia. We were about to turn back when we heard bells ringing in the distance.
"What is that?" Lori asked.
"Church bells." I said, knowing that sound all too well.
"It could be Sophia." Rick said. "Let's go."
They all started running to the noise, and well I was jogging and trying my best. We reached a clearing and saw a chapel, but no physical bell ringing on top.
"Where's the noise coming from?" Lori asked loudly so we could hear her over the bell.
I jogged over to the side of the building to an electrical box, opened it, and cut the wires. The ringing stopped and everyone looked at me.
"The bell is on a schedule. It rings at the time service should start." I said and closed the box.
We walked around to the front door and Rick signaled us to wait. We all pulled out our knifes and Rick gave us the signal. He busted opened the doors, and we saw three walkers turn around. Shane killed the closest one, Daryl shot one with his crossbow, and Rick stabbed the last one.
"Okay, let's move these bodies and rest here for a minute." Rick ordered.
They moved the bodies outside and we settled in. Rick, Lori, and Carl sat on the steps outside, and I saw Shane standing by the door watching them. Daryl was leaning against the wall and sharpening his knife. I walked to the front of the chapel and stood in the middle of the walkway. I saw there was a table with candles all over it, and on top was a statue of Jesus on the cross. On the wall behind it, there was a large wooden cross in between two large stained glass windows. I anxiously clenched by fist and sat down in the front row of the chapel. I sighed and looked at the statue, and memories flooded back to me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head.
"It's been awhile." I prayed in my thoughts. "Actually, it's been a long time since I've been in here, or even talked to you... You know, I never understood your plan God. Hell I still don't understand it. I just..." I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. "I know that my family is with you, that you are keeping them safe and they are happy, so thank you for that. I don't know what your plan is with them, but thank you for this group who became my new family. And I pray that little girl Sophia is out here somewhere and that you will help us find her. I'm doing the best I can out here, and I'm trying to have faith, so please... please show us good. Show me the good that is left in this world. Amen." I lifted my head and took a deep breath.
Andrea walked past me and sat down next to me. She sat down next to me and I wiped my tears I felt running down my cheek. I felt her hand rub my shoulder and I smiled at her.
"I don't understand what He is doing anymore." She said, trying to start a conversation. "I never understood why He took my sister away like He did."
"Trust me, I know how you feel. What happened to my family..." I scoffed and shook my head. "I'm just thankful that they're with him. I know that's what they wanted in the end."
"You're not religious?" She inferred, picking up on my attitude.
"It's complicated." I said and shrugged. "Even before this whole mess, it was complicated."
"You want to talk about it?" She asked. "I mean here's kind of the best place."
I nodded and fidgeted my fingers, feeling my anxiety grow.
"My..." I started talking and then sighed. "My father took us to church every Sunday. He loved to worship, listened to the preacher like he was God himself, and donated his time and money to the church... He looked like the perfect Christian. Everyone loved him." I paused and looked over at Andrea and shook my head. "If only they knew what he did at home, what he hid from them..."
She looked at me with sadness and understood what I was hinting at without me even saying another word.
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, not knowing what to say.
I nodded and stood up. "I know. I would be too."
I had a feeling Daryl eavesdropped because he was staring at me when I got up, and he had this look on his face. He reached out for my hand when I walked by him, but I ignored it and walked out of the chapel.
I didn't want to feel pitied right now, or hear another "I'm sorry". I just wanted to forget about it. I wanted the memories to go away, I didn't want to remember anything about him.