A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S5Pt3 - Father Gabriel

We had no choice to go back on the road. We walked the opposite way, away from the tracks, knowing that they only led to death.
We walked all night and all day, and now the sun was setting again. I was limping next to Daryl who still had my arm wrapped around him. I heard jogging behind me and Tara started walking at my side. I glanced at her but didn't fully pay attention to her.
I heard her stutter and close her mouth, and I could tell she was still scared of me. I sighed and looked at her.
"It's not your fault. What happened with Hershel..." I said and took a deep breath. "You're part of this family now." I nodded at her.
She nodded back and held up her fist. "So we good?"
I stared at her then fist bumped her. "We're good."
We kept walking when Rick stopped along side the road. He put down his bag and so did everyone else.
"We'll rest here for the night. Glenn, Abraham, you're first watch." Rick said.
I sat down on the ground and leaned up against a tree. I groaned in pain as I took off my boot and saw my sock was soaked with blood. Daryl knelt down in front of me and pulled out a first aid kit. He poured peroxide on my foot and I grunted in pain. I punched the ground and bit my tongue.
"I know. I'm sorry Kell." Daryl said and held my leg down. "You're doing good."
I tossed my head back and grabbed the grass just to have something to hold onto. Daryl finished wrapping my foot and I sighed with relief. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Thanks." I said.
Daryl nodded and sat down next to me. He held my hand and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Get some rest Kell. You need it." He said.
I nodded and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off into sleep, but the nightmares caught up to me.

~~~~~~~~~~

We were back at Terminus and this time all of us were tied up and gagged. They lined us up in order starting with Eugene and ending with me.
One by one I watched as the butchers hit them in the head with a bat and sliced their throats. I was struggling and trying to escape, but I was stuck just like before.
They got further down the line and I watched as they killed Maggie, then Glenn. Tears were streaming down my face and my voice was all muffled. Next it was Rick's turn and I started yelling, trying to tell them to stop.
Rick looked at me right when they hit him. The man pulled back his head and I saw the blood spray from his neck. Rick's lifeless body was thrown to the side and now it was Carl's turn.
"No!" I yelled at myself. "I'm done!"
I turned my head away and refused to watch. I've already seen too much death of everyone I loved. I glanced back at the wrong moment and saw Carl's throat get sliced.
"No!!" I yelled. "No!"
They walked behind Daryl and all he could do is look at me. I saw the fear in his eyes and felt like this was the last time I was going to see him.
"Wake up!" I yelled at myself.
I started shaking, moving, and screaming.
"I'm done!" I yelled. "No! I'm done! Wake up!"
I looked back at Daryl and the butchers were standing right behind him and waiting.
"Fucking wake up!" I yelled. "I'm done!"
The butcher swung his bat and Daryl fell forwards.
"No!!" I cried.
I saw him die... again. My heart shattered to pieces as I watched them slice his throat. The guys then walked up behind me and swung the bat. I felt the pain in my head and the warmth of blood running down my neck. I felt them pull my head back by my hair and I closed my eyes.
Everything went black... once again, and
Everything was silent.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up hyperventilating again. I looked around and saw everyone was staring at me. They weren't brutally murdered. They were all alive.
Daryl's face came into view and he grabbed my face.
"Kelley. Calm down. I'm here." He said.
I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes. I quickly calmed down in a few minutes. I mimicked Daryl's breathing and took a deep breath. He wiped my tears and I shook my head.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"There's nothing to be sorry for." Daryl said.
"Hey, what's wrong with her?" Rosita asked.
"She's fine. Just a panic attack." Daryl said.
"She better keep quiet. That'll lead all those motherfuckers to us." Abraham said.
Daryl fiercely turned around and squared up to Abraham, when though Daryl was smaller than him.
Rick got in between them and pushed Daryl back. They stared at each other and everyone felt the testosterone between them. I slowly got up, careful not to put any weight on my foot and stared at them. Daryl backed up and stood protectively in front of me.
"Sun's up." I said. "Time to head out."
I grabbed my stuff and started limping away, and slowly the rest of the group started following me.
It was midday and we were following a trail through the backwoods of Georgia. Everything was quiet until we heard someone calling for help.
"Dad. Come on." Carl urged and walked towards the screams. "Come on."
Rick nodded and we followed them towards the noise. In a clearing, we saw a priest climbing up a boulder and walkers surrounded the bottom. We instantly killed all the walkers and helped the priest jump down the rock.
"Are you okay?" Rick asked.
He held up his finger and we watched as he bent over and puked. My senses kicked in and I suddenly felt sick and I backed over to a tree to throw up.
"Sorry." He said. "Please, thank you. I'm Gabriel." He said.
Rick just stared at him. "Do you have any weapons?" He asked and frisked him.
"Does it look like it?" Gabriel's responded.
"We don't care what it looks like." I walked back over and said. "We need to know."
I held my stomach and sighed, and Gabriel looked at me.
"No, I don't ma'am. The love of God is the only protection I need." He said.
"Sure looks like it." Daryl sarcastically said.
"I prayed for help. Help came." He said. "Do you have any food?" He slowly asked.
"I got a few pecans." Carl said and handed them to him.
He ate them and Judith started to cry. I took her from Tyreese and started bouncing her. She quickly quieted down, but was still fussy.
"That's a beautiful child." Gabriel said. "Is she yours?"
I glared at him and Rick did too. "Yeah, she is." I said.
I held her protectively and Gabriel smiled. Rick then stood in front of me and blocked his view
"Do you have a camp?" He asked.
"I have a church." Gabriel said.
"Good enough." Rick said, then started asking questions. "How many walkers have you killed?"
"Not any actually." He said.
Everyone stared at him questionably.
"How many people have you killed?" Rick asked.
"None." He said.
"Why?" Rick asked.
"Because the Lord abours violence." Gabriel said.
I scoffed at him and remembered everything my own father did while apparently 'following the Lord'.
"What have you done?" I asked and stood my Rick's side. "We have all done something."
"I'm a sinner. I sin almost everyday. But those sins I confess to God." Gabriel said.
I was about to say something when Michonne talked first.
"You said you have a church." Michonne said, and Gabriel nodded his head. "Can you take us to it?"
"Of course. For I owe you because you saved my life." Gabriel said and began walking off.
We followed him down another trail that led to the church. I was carrying Judith in my arms and slowly walking behind the group. They started interrogating him more, but Gabriel didn't mind.
"How long have you been at your church?" Maggie asked.
"Ever since the beginning." Gabriel said.
"Really?" She asked.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm lying." He said and shrugged. "Maybe there is no church, and I'm leading you into a trap to steal your food."
We all instantly stopped walking and stared at him as he turned around.
"Sorry, I was kidding... You know, I was told I had a bad sense of humor." Gabriel said and kept walking.
We cautiously followed him and we soon arrived at a church. Rick walked up the steps to the doors and stopped Gabriel from opening them.
"Hold up. We would like to check it first. Just in case." Rick said.
"Why?" Gabriel asked. "I haven't opened these doors in months."
Rick just glared at him and Gabriel backed up. Daryl, Rick, Glenn, and Maggie opened the doors and checked the church, which was empty. They allowed us inside and we all walked in and made ourselves at home.
"As I said, I haven't walked out of these doors in months." Gabriel said.
Carl walked past him and looked at him. "Thank you for this." He said.
Inside the church, the windows were boarded up and candles were lit on the floor and mantles. Cans of food were stacked on the ground in a corner, some were empty and others unopened. I walked towards the front of the church and sat down at the pew. I bounced Judith on my leg and she started giggling, then she reached out to the cross.
"You like the cross?" I said. "It's a pretty cross, huh."
I kissed her forehead and stared at the cross. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, giving a quick prayer when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Daryl looked at me. He sat down next to me and looked at Judith in my lap.
"You want to hold her?" I asked.
Daryl hesitated but I handed him the baby anyways. He held her and she started to get fussy and cry.
"Why is she crying? I didn't do anything." Daryl said confused.
I smirked and watched him as he tried to calm her down. I handed Daryl a toy and she soon quieted down.
"Better get used to it." I said. "Soon there's gonna be another one." I sighed.
Daryl sighed and nodded. He then looked at me and saw the worry in my face.
"We're going to be okay." Daryl said.
I slowly nodded and admired him as he held Judith. I smiled at the thought of Daryl holding our baby in his arms, knowing that he'd do anything to protect us.
Then, Gabriel walked towards the cross and Rick was behind him. He put his shoulder of Gabriel's shoulder and he turned around.
"How'd you survive in here?" Rick asked.
"The church had a food drive before everything fell. There is little food left here, but most of it was dropped off at the local food bank." Gabriel said.
"I'll take a group out, gather some food." Rick said.
He called over Michonne, Bob, and Sasha who stood next to him.
"I'll draw you a map." Gabriel said.
"You're coming with us." Rick said and pointed at him.
"But, I'm not good around those things." Gabriel said.
"I just met you. I'm not leaving you here with my family." Rick said.
Gabriel sighed but knew he had no other choice. Rick walked over to Carl and talked to him for a minute, then walked over to me.
"You'll look after Judy and Carl for me?" He asked.
"Of course." I said.
Rick thanked me and left the church with his group. I saw Glenn, Maggie, and Tara were gathering supplies and getting ready to leave.
"I'm taking a group out to search for extra supplies." Glenn said.
"Okay, be safe out there." I said.
They said goodbye and left the church. I handed Judith to Carl who played with her on the floor. Daryl then walked up to me and grabbed my hand.
"Carol and I are going to go fill our jugs and scan the area." Daryl said.
"Okay, just be back before dark." I said.
Daryl kissed my cheek and I watched as he left. I got an eerie feeling in my gut and called out to Daryl.
"Daryl!" I called out and limped forwards a few steps.
"Yeah Kell?" He said and turned around.
"Be safe out there." I said.
He smiled at me and nodded. "I'll see you soon."
They then left and I closed the doors behind them. I took in a deep breath, trying my best to stay cool, but I couldn't help but feel worried. Maybe it was the church, or the nightmares, or almost being murdered only a day ago, but I was severely on edge. I began to doubt my abilities to survive and tried to keep my composure, but I'm pretty sure everyone noticed me trailing off. I am slowly shutting down, becoming weaker by the day, and I don't know if I can stop it.