A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S3Pt19 - Merle

I stayed outside to keep watch, and waited for Daryl to get back. Normally, I would trust Daryl to go out alone, but these circumstances were sketchy. In the distance I saw someone approaching... and it was Michonne. She was alone and walked casually up to the gate. I opened it for her and stared at her.
"Where'd you come from? How'd you get back?" I asked.
"Merle let me go." She said.
I stared at her apologetically. "I'm so sorry Michonne. By the time Rick changed his mind, it was too late." I said. "We weren't thinking. I should've stopped it."
Michonne sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. "I understand what you guys were thinking, trying to protect yourselves. I respect that." She said. "You guys always say you're a family, but I'd finally like to be treated like I'm part of that family."
I nodded my head at her. "You definitely are." I said and held out my hand. "I got your back from now on."
She nodded and shook my hand.
"You should go talk to Rick, though. But if he gives you any trouble, just come get me." I said.
"Why not just come with me?" She asked.
"I'm waiting for Daryl. He went to go get you guys back, but he's still out there." I said.
She nodded, started walking away, but then turned around. "Merle still went to meet the Governor, planned on slowing him down for us. Just thought you should know." She said.
I nodded in thanks and turned around to look out for Daryl.
Awhile later, it was almost dusk and I was getting nervous about Daryl. Until I saw a distant figure approaching the prison. As it got closer, I saw it was Daryl, but he wasn't acting right. He was staring at the ground and wasn't looking at where he was going. Walkers ran up to him and all he did was dodge them, and if they got too close he'd only push them away. I opened the gates, ran out, and killed a few walkers that were getting close to him. I grabbed his arm, ran back to the gate, and closed it behind us. Daryl just stood there and stared at the ground. I lifted up his face and made him look at me.
"What the hell were you doing walking around like that!? You could've been killed." I said.
I saw the hurt in his eyes and knew something bad has happened. I instantly calmed down and caressed his cheek.
"Baby, what happened?" I whispered.
"Merle.. he's dead. I-I had to kill him." Daryl said.
I didn't know what to say, and for the first time since I've known Daryl, he cried. He shook his head and cried. I held out my arms to hug him, but he crumbled to the ground from exhaustion. I caught him, and he wrapped his arms around me and cried into my chest. I ran my fingers though his hair and kissed his head.
"Shhhh." I said and rubbed his back. "I'm so sorry.... I'm so sorry." I whispered.
I tried my best not to cry, but he couldn't stop. I looked up and saw Rick walking out of the cellblock and he looked at us. He started to come closer but I shook my head. Daryl's sobs soon got quieter but his breathing was still fast.
"Come on." I said and lifted him up. "Let's go inside."
I helped steady him, and we walked past Rick into the cellblock. Everyone stared, especially Michonne, as I brought Daryl to our cell. In the cell I sat him down on the bed. I put down his crossbow, took off his vest and shoes, and laid him down. I sat down on the bed next to him and comforted him. I kissed his hand and caressed his face. He sniffled one last time, but eventually stopped crying. I turned away, wiped a few of my own tears, and then looked back at Daryl. I was trying to be strong for him since he was always strong for me when I needed him most.
He calmed down and his breathing became normal, but he was still silent. I got up to go talk to Rick real quick and explain what happened with Merle.
"Kell." Daryl said quietly.
I turned around and looked at him. "Yeah?"
"Come here." He said.
I walked back over to him, and grabbed his hand that he held out to me. He pulled me over to lay next to him and he held me tight. I looked up at him and kissed him lightly, but he deepened the kiss.
"I love you." I said, and my voice cracked. "I am so sorry about Merle."
Daryl nodded. He felt my lips and stared at me. I grabbed his hand and kissed it, letting my lips linger on his skin.
"He's gone." Daryl said.
I guess he said it to believe it, because he repeated it a few more times. I nodded slowly in agreement.
"Yeah. He is... I'm sorry." I said.
Daryl just shook his head and closed his eyes. He must've been extremely tired because he fell asleep instantly, which he never does. I kissed his hand one more time before I closed my own eyes, and with a sigh I fell into a much needed sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, I woke up instantly when I felt Daryl get up. He put back on his boots and vest and sat on the edge of the bed. I sat up and hugged him from behind. I kissed his neck and he felt my arms.
"My brother never did anything like that before in his whole life." He said.
"I know." I said and sat down right next to him. "He gave us a chance."
Daryl nodded and we stood up together, and he turned around to face me. I slightly smiled at him and caressed his cheek, and he sighed with relief.
"We're going to be okay." I said.
I grabbed his hand and walked us out to the cellblock. No one was inside, so we walked out to the courtyard and saw the group talking. Beth was sitting back with Judith and I walked over to her.
"They trying to decide?" I guessed.
"Decide what?" Daryl asked.
"If we stay and fight, or if we leave." I told him.
Daryl instantly walked over to the group and joined in on the conversation. I smiled at Judith and kissed her head before I joined the group.
"We should go." Hershel said. "We already lost Lori, Merle, T-Dog, and others. This place isn't worth it."
"We can't leave." Rick said.
"I'm not leaving. Not after what he did to Merle. He can't win." Daryl said angrily.
"I agree. I'm not leaving." Glenn said.
"I want to stay, but we have to think about what we need." Maggie said, trying to be rational.
"We can't go back on the road, it's not safe." Rick said, and turned towards me. "What do you think?"
"I don't care if we stay or leave. I just want us to be safe, and we're not safe until he's gone." I said. "I want the Governor dead. So if that means we stay and fight, then I'll stay."
Rick smiled and nodded. He liked what I said, and so did everyone else. Well, Hershel was still on the fence.
"Majority of the group wants to stay, so I have a plan. Those who want to fight will stay here. Those who want to leave can take a car and hide in the forest, and if anything bad happens, that's our escape plan. Alright?" Rick said and we nodded. "Okay, who wants to fight?"
Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Carol, myself, and Daryl raised their hands, and Carl raised his last. Me and Rick looked at him, then at each other, and shook our heads.
"Who wants to leave?" Rick asked.
Hershel and Beth raised their hands. Judith started getting fussy and Beth handed her to me, and she instantly quieted down.
"Actually, I'll take them and the kids out to the forest." I said.
"But Kelley." Carl complained. "I want to help fight too."
"No Carl. I'm not risking you getting shot or worse." I said.
"But-" Carl argued back.
I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. "I said no. End of discussion." I growled and let go of his chin. "Now go pack your bag and get in the car."
He huffed at me and turned around. I sighed as he walked away angrily, but I didn't care if he was mad at me. Rick put his hand on my shoulder. "Sorry you had to do that." He said.
"Lori told me to treat him as my own, so that's exactly what I did." I said and walked away.
Back at my cell I packed my bag and grabbed all my weapons. Daryl came in after me and did the same. Once we were done I walked to Carl's cell and saw he was finishing packing up. He saw me, stomped past me, and left the cellblock.
"You made the right call." Daryl said.
"I know I did. I rather him be angry at me than dead." I said.
Daryl nodded in agreement and we walked out to the courtyard. Everyone was preparing their weapons and Hershel finished up packing the car full of supplies, just in case we had to make a run for it.
"I'll follow them out there, make sure they're settled, and I'll come back." Daryl told Rick.
He nodded and I got on the back of Daryl's bike. Carol opened the gate and we drove out into the forest.