A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S7Pt6 - Biting The Bullet

It's been a long time now since Rick was gone, and it felt even longer with Negan here. I saw Spencer walking down the street, towards my house, and he stopped at my front steps.
"What are you just standing there for?" Negan asked.
Spencer sighed and tucked his hands in his pockets, then looked at Negan. I didn't have a good feeling about this because I didn't know what Spencer was up to, but lately he's been sneaky.
"Negan, I'm opening an invitation to play some pool with you." He said.
He held out his arm in the middle of the street where two of Negan's men were moving a pool table.
Negan smiled and handed Judith to Carl. I stood up straight, and walked over to stand behind Carl.
"What's the occasion?" Negan asked, grabbing his bat and walking down the steps.
"Let's chat." Was all Spencer said, and Negan grinned at him.
"What the hell are these two up to?" I thought to myself.
While Negan was distracted at the pool table, I quietly went back inside. No one else was there, and I quickly went upstairs and into my room. I closed the door behind me, locked it, and walked over to my bed. Underneath my mattress is where I hid my extra revolver, and I grabbed it. I then walked across the room to where a tall bookshelf was, grabbed a book and opened it, and caught the bullet that fell out. I held it up in the air, turning it and admiring it, before loading it into the gun. I sighed as I hid the revolver by tucking it in my pants and covered it with my shirt and jacket.
"You only got one shot." I told myself. "Don't fuck it up."
I quickly walked back downstairs, left my house and stood on the porch. In the road I saw Negan and Spencer already stared their pool game, and I heard Spencer was plotting against Rick.
"Damn fool." I thought.
"I could never do this with Rick." Negan then said and hit the ball with the pool cue. "He would just be standing there, scowling, giving me that annoying side eye he gives me."
"I get what you're trying to do here. What you're trying to build." Spencer said. "I'm not saying I agree with your methods, but I get it."
One of Negan's balls went into the pocket and he moved on to the next, the two guys walking around the table.
"You're building a network. You're making people contribute for the greater good. Makes sense..."
I went unnoticed as I walked off my porch and over to the crowd that gathered around the game. I stood several feet behind Spencer, and saw Rosita to my left and Eugene to my right. I just crossed my arms, careful not to expose my sidearm.
"But you should know..." Spencer said as he now began his turn. "That Rick Grimes has a history of not working well with others."
"Is that so?" Negan asked, unbothered by this conversation.
"Rick wasn't the original leader here. My mom was." Spencer explained. "She was doing a really good job of it. She died.. not long after Rick showed up."
I slightly bowed my head, remembering hearing the news that Deanna died the night the herd was here, and the night I lost my arm.
"Same with my brother. Same with my dad." Spencer finished.
Negan took a shot at the pool table then drank from his glass of whiskey he had.
"Everything was peachy here, for what? Years? And then Rick shows up and suddenly you're an orphan." Negan asked.
Spencer didn't say anything and leaned against his pool cue.
"That is the saddest story I've ever heard." Negan said. "Good thing for you, he's not in charge anymore."
I took a glance at Carl, making sure he was alright and Judith, and he nodded at me.
"It doesn't matter." Spencer said, clearly upset, and I turned my attention back to them. "His ego's out of control. He'll find a way to screw things up. Try to do things his way, to take over. That's what he did with my mom... that's what he'll do again."
Spencer hit the pool ball but it missed the pocket. Negan walked closer to him and sipped his drink.
"What exactly are you proposing be done about that?" Negan asked, and Spencer looked at him.
"I am my mother's son. I can be the leader she was... That's what this place needs, that's what you need." Spencer said.
Negan just smiled at him. "So I should put you in charge. That's what you're saying."
"We'd be much better off." Spencer said.
"Fucking hell, man." I muttered under my breath, and slowly shook my head.
Negan started walking around and drank his drink again, keeping his eye on Spencer.
"You know what I'm thinking Spencer? I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts. But he is out there, right now, gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here." Negan explained and set down his drink on the pool table. "He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done. That takes guts."
Negan then grabbed his pool cue and took a shot, getting one of his balls into another pocket. He then smiled and pointed at Spencer.
"Then there's you." He said and slowly began walking over to him. "The guy who waited until Rick's gone so he could sneak over and talk to me, get me to do his dirty work so he could take Rick's place. So I gotta ask... if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself? And just take over."
"What, no-- I didn't-" Spencer said, obviously trying to backtrack his words.
"You know what I'm thinking?" Negan asked again. "And I have a guess.., it's because you got no guts."
Negan took one final step closer, and before anyone could react, Negan pulled out a knife and stabbed Spencer.
I gasped in shock, along with everyone else, as Spencer leaned over. He grabbed onto Negan's shoulder, and Negan just pulled his hand away, slicing the rest of Spencer's stomach open. His intestines fell out on the road, followed by Spencer's body.
"How embarrassing." Negan said to Spencer, who was still alive and holding his insides. "There they are. They were inside you the whole time. You did have guts!" Negan raised his voice then looked at all of us. "I've never been so wrong in my entire life!"
Negan just smiled to himself as Spencer died on the ground. I looked over at Carl who was disgusted, and Olivia was trying not to cry. Negan then grabbed his bat from the pool table and walked back over to us.
"Somebody, come clean this mess up."
I kept my arms crossed, and no one else moved.
"Anyone else want to finish the game?" Negan asked, pointing his bat at everyone. "Come on. Anybody? Anybody?"
We were all silent, but then I thought about my gun, my single bullet, and knew that this was going to be my only chance.
"Come on." Negan said and smiled, resting his bat on his shoulder. "I was winning."
"Now."  I thought.
Without any hesitation, I pulled out the pistol and aimed it at Negan's head. I pulled the trigger and everyond heard the single gunshot echo throughout Alexandria.
But, at the wrong moment, Negan had turned his back. Instead of hitting his head, the bullet hit the bat that was on his shoulder.
"You fucked up..." Was the only thing I thought.
He turned around and looked at me in shock, then at his precious bat, then at me again. I still had the gun aimed at him, that was now empty.
"Shit!" He yelled at me. "What the shit!"
One of the woman in Negan's group slapped the gun out of my hand, grabbed my throat, and slammed me down on the ground.
"Shit! You--you just tried to kill me!" Negan yelled as he ran up to me, holding his bat above my head. "You shot Lucille."
"She got in the way." I said through gritted teeth.
The woman held a knife up to my throat and Negan backed away from me. I knew Negan was pissed off, and everyone was watching us, scared of what he might do.
He then saw the bullet casing from my gun, and carefully picked it up.
"What is this?" He asked, his voice still loud. "What is this? This little bad boy made from scratch. Yeah, this was homemade." Negan said, looking at the bullet.
"You may be stupid Kell, but you showed some real ingenuity here. Arat." He said and pointed at my face. "Bring that knife up, under that girl's face."
Arat held the knife against the skin of my cheek, and I tensed up, and then looked at Negan who stood over me.
"Lucille's beautiful smooth surface is never gonna look the same. So why should yours! Unless... unless you tell me who made this." Negan said and showed me the bullet.
"It was me." I said. "I made it."
I was not going to tell him it was Eugene, I refused. I told him to do it, and I wasn't going to let him take the fall for it.
"You see, now I just think you're lying. And you're lying to me now!" Negan yelled at me, but I didn't flinch. "Kell... I thought we had something. Ah, it's such a shame. Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face. One more time..."
I stared at Negan and lifted my head off the ground, feeling the blade cut into my skin.
"It was me." I repeated, and felt blood run down my cheek.
"Oh! You are such a badass! Fine, have it your way." Negan said, and turned around. "Arat. Kill somebody."
She took the knife away from my face and pulled out her gun. Before I could even speak, she aimed the gun at my porch, and shot Olivia in the head.
"No!" I yelled. "It was me, goddammit it!"
I sat up and looked at the porch, and saw Carl was holding Judith away from Olivia's body. Just then, Rick showed up with Aaron, who looked like he just got beat up.
Eric ran up to Aaron and Rick ran over to Negan.
"We had an agreement." Rick said through gritted teeth.
"Rick!" Negan yelled, his voice slightly cracking. "Look everybody, it's Rick. You're people are making me lose my voice with all this yelling."
Rick looked around at all of us, and just stared at my cheek. He then looked back at Negan, and Negan slightly smiled.
"How about a thank you?"
Rick tilted his head in confusion and Negan stood up straight.
"I mean look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends, and because of that we're never gonna sit around and braid each others hair or share our deepest, darkest secrets. But what about a little credit? I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am." Negan said and then pointed at Carl. "Your kid. He hid in one of my trucks and machine gunned a bunch of my men down. And I brought him home, safe and sound, and I fed him spaghetti."
Rick turned around and looked at his son in shock, and Carl just stared at him.
"Another one of your people." Negan said, and they both looked at Spencer, who didn't turn yet. "Well he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out! For you." Negan told Rick, then pointed Lucille at me. "And Kell here. She shot Lucille, trying to kill me just now, so I gave you one less mouth to feed. By looking at her, that mouth did some major damage. Personally, I wouldn't have picked her the first one to go, but Arat--" Negan said and shrugged. "I don't know. Didn't trust her."
I just looked at Negan, then at Rick who took a step closer to him.
"Your shit's waiting at the gate. Just go." Rick said.
"Sure thing Rick. Right after I find the guy or gal who made this bullet." Negan said. "Arat."
Arat aimed her gun at Aaron and Eric, who held out their hands.
"It was me!" I yelled at her.
"No... it wasn't." Eugene cried, and Negan sighed with relief.
We all looked over to see Eugene was covering his face with his hands and was crying. He brought his hands down when Negan walked up to him, but didn't look him in the eyes.
"It was me." Eugene said. "It was completely me."
"You?" Negan asked him.
"It required one spin case and one four-hole turret reloaded powder, one funnel for the powder--" Eugene began listing off the items.
"Shut up." Negan said, and put his hand on Eugene's shoulder. "I believe you."
Negan then walked away and closed his eyes, holding Lucille up in front of him. "Lucille." He breathed deeply. "Give me strength."
He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm gonna be relieving you of your bullet maker Rick. And, I'm am taking Kell with me. Them, and whatever you left for me at the front gate."
Negan then looked at Rick, and twirled his bat. "Whatever you scavenged for me at the gate is not good enough, because you're still in serious, serious holes after today." Negan said and then yelled. "Let's move out!"
Negan's people lowered their weapons and began walking away. One guy pushed Eugene back, and they began walking to the front gates. Two men walked over to me, and I began crawling away.
"No, no." I said, but they grabbed my arms. "No!" I yelled.
I thrashed in their arms, trying to shake loose, but they just dragged me until I started walking. Before they turned me around, I saw Rick watching me with tears in his eyes. I saw Carl hugging Judith and he took one more look at me before closing his eye.
"Rick." Negan said again. "I'll see you next time."
Negan began following us, and they pushed us over to the trucks. They separated me and Eugene, putting us in different cars. They tried to stick me in the back of a van, but I was putting up a fight. I tried to shake them loose, and kicked at them, using my legs to push me away from the truck.
"No! Get off of me!" I yelled at them.
With a few grunts and one more good push, the guys threw me into the back of the truck. They slammed the door closed, and I was left in the dark. I hit the metal with my hand and slammed into it with my shoudler, but it was no use.
I was taken.