A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S9Pt26 - My Greatest Loss

"Daryl." Kell called out to me.
"Yes my love?" I said, and stood over her to look into her eyes. They opened and stared back at me, and I thought this will be the last time I ever see those beautiful hazel eyes.
"I'm sorry... for everything I ever.. said to you. For anything I did.. that hurt you." Kell said softly.
"You could never hurt me." I said and shook my head.
"I... love... yo—" Kell said, and then she took one deep breath and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.
"Kell... oh god, Kelley." I said and shook her shoulder. I checked her pulse, and she was gone.
"Get the kids out of here." I called out.
Michonne, Rosita, and Maggie walked in and pulled out the kids who were kicking, screaming, and crying for their mom.
I couldn't blame them. I wanted to do the same thing. She was really gone. The absolute love of my life... was dead.

~~~~~~~~~~

I heard a knock at the door, and Michonne and Maggie walked in. I was sitting by Kell's bedside, holding her hand. She was cold, not moving, completely lifeless.
"Did you.." Michonne asked.
I shook my head. "I can't, not yet."
"Daryl, it's been hours—" Maggie began to say.
"I know how long it's been!" I raised my voice at her. "You think I don't know how long my wife's been gone?"
"Daryl..." Michonne said and held up her hand.
"She's gone." I sobbed. "She's really gone."
"I'm so sorry Daryl." Michonne said.
"We all loved her." Maggie said.
It was silent for a moment as we all stared at Kell. Then I thought of something.
"What if she doesn't turn?" I said. "Huh?"
"That's imp—" Michonne was about to say.
"No it's not. Think about it, my son is immune. What if that came from her. That means she can't turn." I said, finding a spark of hope.
The last thing I wanted to do is put her down. I didn't want to kill my wife...
My hope was then lost when we heard the bed creak. I looked over at Kell and her chest was rising and falling. Tears swelled up in my eyes and my hand instantly went to my knife. I slowly pulled it out and took a deep breath.
"Daryl..." Michonne whispered. "It doesn't have to be you."
"Yes it does." I said.
Kell's eyes then opened, and they were fogged over, with no light left in her eyes. The beauty in them was gone. I sat on the side of the bed and held down her arm that had a hand. I held my knife up to the side of her head, and she continued to stare at me. She didn't growl, she didn't snap at me, she just stared. Like she knew who I was.
Then she tried to move her arm. I held it down and that made her want to move more. She moved her head side to side, and then finally opened her mouth. She snapped her teeth in my direction and I squinted my eyes closed. I opened them and she raised her head to try and bite me again. My knife hovered by her forehead, and I waited.
"Daryl." Michonne said.
"Please... Kelley please come back." I said.
Her lifeless eyes peered into my soul, and she growled at me and snarled her teeth.
"Daryl do it now." Maggie said.
Kell was starting to squirm and I had to hold her down more. She snarled and snapped and chopped and did anything to try and reach me.
I couldn't do this to her. I couldn't leave her like this. I had to end it. It's what she wanted.
"Daryl!" Michonne yelled out when she got too close.
I then pushed my knife against her forehead, reaching her skull, and pushed one last time.
Then it all stopped. The snarling, snapping, and chomping went away. And I swear I heard her take one last breath again.
I dropped my knife which clattered to the floor, and bent over to hug her. I squeezed my arms around her body, and then I sobbed. I sobbed until I couldn't no more. Because this was my hardest goodbye. Because this was my greatest loss.