A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S3Pt5 - Murder

We were walking down the hallways, following the prisoners to another cellblock. Daryl was walking by my side, and kept his eyes on my dad the entire time. As they were leading us, we ran into another group of walkers.
"Everyone get back!" Rick ordered.
My dad pulled out his gun and started shooting at the walkers, making things worse. One of the prisoners got bit and Glenn grabbed him and dragged him away. Rick grabbed and pulled my dad back and we followed the rest of the prisoners. They led us to the cafeteria and we closed and blocked the doors. We all caught our breath and then I looked at my dad.
"What the hell?!" I yelled.
"What?" He asked.
"Don't use your gun. You're gonna bring all of them to us. You could've kill all of us." I said.
"She's right." Rick said. "You guys need to learn how to kill walkers before you go firing off rounds and wasting bullets."
My dad just scoffed and turned away from me. We looked at the prisoner who got bit, and knew there was nothing we could do.
"Can't you just cut his arm off? Like that guys leg?" One asked.
"He got bit on the shoulder. There's no way to fix that." I said.
"Then what do we do?" Another asked.
My dad walked up to the prisoner and hit him in the end with the butt of his gun. He attacked him and bashed in his skull, and there was no way that guy was alive. I gasped and looked at Daryl, who stood by my side protectively. I never saw my dad kill anyone before, until now. Everyone was silent and my dads face was covered in blood.
"Problem solved." He said sadistically.
We didn't respond and looked around the room we were in.
"Where are we?" Glenn asked.
"The cafeteria." A prisoner said.
We instantly started scavenging because cafeteria meant food, and we were starving.
We found huge storage closet and opened it. It was stacked ceiling high with boxes and boxes of food.
We all cheered and opened some boxes and stashed food into our bags. It was like a feast. It was enough to last for months, if rationed correctly.
Once we gathered some supplies we got back to the task at hand. Rick walked up to the door and still heard walkers on the other side.
"When I opened these doors, we only use our knives. No noise." Rick said and glared at my dad.
We nodded and Rick handed me his hatchet. I stared at him and held it in my hand. I nodded and everyone got ready. The prisoners stayed near the back, but my dad stood closer to me. Rick opened the door and the walkers flooded in, and we killed them one by one. Three came after me, but one veered off towards my dad. I killed one walker and pushed it to the side. I was about to kill the other one when I watched my dad throw the walker at me. One walker grabbed my arm, but I chopped it off. I then slashed at them and killed the last two walkers.
"Motherfucker just tried to kill me." I thought. "That's it."
That was the last straw. With all the surrounding commotion, I took my only chance I had. I walked over to my dad and looked him in the eyes.
"That one was close." He said, and I saw the evil in his eyes.
"Yeah... It was." I said.
Without hesitation, I lifted the hatchet. It only took a second, and the hatchet went right into his head. I let go of it, and my dad's body fell to the floor. This unexplainable feeling rushed over me as I stared at him. The last walker fell and then everyone looked at me. They saw me and my dad's dead body. No one knew what to say.
"He got in the way." I lied.
I backed away from my dad and realized my hands were shaking. I held them together and tried to catch my breath. One of the prisoners panicked and ran off, but we let him go to die somewhere else in this prison. All that was left were two prisoners and five of us.
Daryl carefully grabbed my shoulders. He pulled me away and I was silent.
"Get her out of here." Rick said. "We'll take them."
Daryl nodded and walked me back to the cellblock. Once we were there, everyone looked at me and saw the blood spray on my face.
"What happened?" Carl ran up and asked me.
"Not now kid." Daryl said.
Lori pulled Carl back and allowed Daryl to take me up to my cell. I sat down on the bed and Daryl put my stuff on the top bunk. He wiped my face and brushed my hair. He sat down next to me in silence.
"He didn't really get in the way.. did he?" Daryl asked.
I shook my head and started crying. "No." I cried. "He was right there. It was just so easy."
I sobbed in Daryl's arms as he held me. I cried into his chest and he rubbed my back. A few minutes passed with overwhelming grief but that soon stopped. I then became filled with anger. I stood up and started pacing. I clenched my fists and breathed deeply.
"Kelley." Daryl said cautiously.
"This is so fucked!" I cried. "That motherfucker tried to kill me, and here I am feeling sorry for HIM!"
"Kell-"
I yelled and punched the wall with my bad hand, but didn't feel it because of the adrenaline.
"All those years of abuse, and I could've stopped it! I could've-" I cried and started hyperventilating. "Now he's gone, just like that."
Daryl caught me before I fell to the ground. I was clutching my chest and wheezing.
"Kelley. Calm down." Daryl said and held me.
He grabbed my face and made me look at him.
"Breathe Kell. In and out." He said and breathed. "In and out."
I mimicked his breathing and eventually calmed down.
"I hate him." I cried. "I fucking hated him..."
Just like that, he was gone. The most evil person I've ever met, the man who put me and my family through hell, was now dead. I suffered so much pain because of him throughout my whole life, and just like that, it was over. And the truth is that it wasn't easy. It was the hardest thing I've done. Now I carried the burden of killing my father. The burden of taking my first human life away, of becoming a murderer. The end result of being just like him... a monster.