A Survivor's Diary of the Apocalypse (TWD/Daryl Dixon)

S2Pt12- The Shoot Out

The group was sitting on the porch, and we were thinking about what we should do. Rick was out with Hershel, and Shane was no where to be seen since the barn. Shane then walked up to us with a bag full of guns. He handed one to everyone, then looked at Daryl.
"You with me?" He asked and held out a shotgun.
Daryl took the gun and nodded. I looked at him upset, and he had no emotion in his face. Shane handed me a pistol and I denied it.
"This is wrong." I said.
Maggie then came out of the house. "Can you stop? If you do this, my dad will make you guys leave by tonight." Maggie said.
"We need to stay Shane." Carl said.
Shane knelt down on his knee and grabbed Carl's shoulder. "I know. Hershel will understand. Now take this gun to protect you and your mother." He said and took out a pistol.
Lori stepped in and grabbed the gun. "Rick said no guns. This isn't your decision." She said.
T-Dog then pointed over at something in the distance.
"Oh shit." He said.
We all looked over and saw that Hershel and Rick had walkers leashed to poles.
"What is that, huh?" Shane started yelling and running to the barn. "What is that?!"
I ran after him over to the barn along with everyone else. We met them as the barn and they stopped walking.
"What the hell is this?" Shane asked.
He pointed at the walkers and they growled at Shane and reached out to him.
"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel asked, struggling with the walker in his hands.
"Do you see what they are holding? They aren't sick. They aren't people. All they do is kill! This thing right here." Shane said and then pointed at Hershel. "Hey, Hershel. Can a living, breathing person take this?" He asked and shot the walker in the chest.
It growled at him and lunged for Shane.
"Why is it still coming?!" He yelled and shot it two more times, once in the stomach and once in the chest.
"Shane! Enough!" Rick yelled.
"You're right. That is enough." Shane said.
He walked up to Hershel and shot his walker in the head. The body fell to the ground and Hershel sat down sadly still holding the pole.
"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's GONE!" He yelled and looked at me and Carol. "Enough risking our life living by a barn full of monsters. Enough!" He ranted. "Rick it's not like it was before."
Shane then ran over to the barn doors and took a pick axe to the lock and chains. He banged on the doors and opened them up. He stood back and prepared his gun. Andrea, T-Dog, Glenn, and Daryl formed a lime and aimed there weapons. Then the walkers started spilling out.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Shot after shot, the walkers fell to the floor.
"Hershel!" Rick yelled, trying to hand over the walker to him. "Hershel, take it!"
Shane walked up to the walker he was holding and killed it, and went back to killing the rest. Hershel was frozen in shock and Maggie and Beth were crying behind him.
We were killing their family. We were no better than the monsters in the barn. Bud was by my side whining and rubbing against me, because he picked up on my emotions. I had the time to grieve my family and say goodbye, but they were taking that away from them. Lori was hiding Carl behind her and hugging him. I was about to leave when the shots stopped and everything was quiet. All the walkers were dead, or that's at least what we thought.
A small groan came from inside the barn and a hand grabbed the door. A walker emerged from the barn wearing a blue t-shirt with a rainbow on it.
"No....." I thought and took a step back.
"Sophia!!!" Carol cried.
She tried to run to her daughter but Daryl stopped her.
"Sophia!" She cried weakly in Daryl's arms.
Everything was quiet and no one moved. We all watched as this dead little girl stepped over the fallen walkers. She growled at us and snapped her teeth. When she was within a few feet, Rick stepped forward and pulled out his Colt Python. With one more step, Rick shot her and she fell to the ground. Carol ran away from Daryl and over to Sophia's body. Beth cried and ran over to her mother's body. Carl was crying in Lori's arms and she was trying to stay strong for him. Daryl looked back at me and saw the sadness in my eyes. He walked over and wrapped his arms around me, and I cried into his chest.
Everything was for nothing. All the time and energy wasted. Looking for a girl who was dead this whole time, a little girl I let die.
"This is all my fault." I thought.
In the middle of everything I ran away. Daryl tried to hold onto me but I pushed him away. I cried as I ran away from everyone. I got to Daryl's tent and Bud followed me. I sat in the dirt and cried. Bud licked my hands trying to cheer me up, but it didn't work.
I hated myself. I could have prevented this. I was the last one who saw her alive, and I left her alone to fend for herself. I practically killed her.
I slowly stood up and started walking farther into the field. Bud began following me, but I called him off.
"Stay Bud." I said and held up my hand.
He whined at me but sat down, and I wiped my tears. I turned around and walked into the field, away from everyone, and sat alone. I stared into the distance and sobbed.
I lost so much in this world and now I made a mother lose her daughter.
I slowly pulled out my gun and held it. I thought about what I was about to do. I thought about everything that has happened.
The injuries. The searches. The fights. Everything... Everything was for nothing.
I held the gun up to my head and breathed deeply.
I just wanted to be gone.
I wanted to die.
I heard a faint call in the distance but couldn't focus. I was stuck in my mind and I knew what I wanted to do. I was about to pull the trigger when a hand pulled the gun away from me. My finger squeezed the trigger and a shot rang into the sky. I snapped out of it and looked at who took it away from me. It was Daryl.
"What did you do?" I cried and pushed Daryl.
"Kell. What were you thinking?" Daryl said softly.
"I want to die!" I screamed. "Why won't you just let me die?!"
Daryl just stared at me, not knowing what to say.
"This is all my fault! I killed that little girl." I cried, and started hitting myself in the head. "It's all my fault."
Daryl grabbed my arms and held me. He hugged me tight and refused to let me go. I sobbed in his arms and we slumped to the ground. I kept crying and Daryl just pet my hair.
"Why won't you just let me die?" I asked quietly, and slowed my crying.
"Because I love you." Daryl said and I heard his voice crack. "I can't live without you."
I cried again and grabbed his arm. He rocked me in his arms and calmed me down.
"It's not your fault." He said. "It's not your fault."
I stopped resisting Daryl and relaxed in his arms. But I couldn't help think that I could've done different. We all could've done different.