Care For Me ✔️

T W E N T Y - S E V E N

L I L Y

TW

My mind was foggy- overwhelmed by the information Jack had just produced. The things he sacrificed for me; he first took a hit that was meant for my three year old self, He stood up to the monsters that plagued my mind at every waking moment. The same monsters that plagued his own.

He protected me.

Nausea churned in my stomach as Jack's words replayed in my mind. 'I lost my innocence that night.' The cruel, malicious, unspeakable things our father had done to him. He was just a child- he's still a child.

I'm going to be sick.

As the words I love you left Jack's chapped pink lips- I felt my heart swell as tears pooled in my pale blue eyes. My throat constricting as I tried my hardest to suppress the sobs, sobs so desperate to be let go. The years I've longed for someone to tell me those three small words- three small words filled with so much meaning. The nights I've cried myself to sleep, thinking no one would care if I was gone. To find out that the full time someone did care-Jack.

Loud chilling screams filled the eerie silence around us- it took me a few moments to realise the screaming was coming from me.

I screamed for my lost childhood.

I screamed for the beatings inflicted on my small fragile body.

I screamed for the words that had been etched in my mind and scarred on my body.

I screamed for my big brother, my protector, my saviour- I screamed for Jack.

I screamed for everything he had lost, everything that man had inflicted upon him.

I screamed for what that man had taken from him.

I screamed for us.

______________________________

My throat felt scratchy and raw from my sobs and screams. I whiled myself to calm down as I held on to Jack tightly- scared to let go. He protected me. All this time I thought I had no one. I thought my older brother was cruel and hated me when in fact it was the opposite, I couldn't have been more wrong- he kept me safe.

He loves me.

I reluctantly released my hold on Jack, pulling back slightly as I placed my small palms on his crimson tear stained cheeks. My azure eyes meeting his broken, panic riddled gaze. He averted his eyes- looking out to the clear lake waters as his bottom lip began to tremble.

"Lily- I um. I didn't tell you everything."

"What?"

"The fight, um in school. The boy that threatened you. Marcus. It was all my fault."

"Why did he threaten me? Why did you fight?"

"Please, please don't think less of me than you already do." Jack whispered, his voice laced with pain. I don't think less of you. "I-I couldn't cope, the words, the memories, the nightmares. I needed an escape." He took a shaky breath, his eyes refusing to meet my gaze as he continued on. "I, I turned to drugs Lily. Drugs that he provided.