Care For Me ✔️

62

LILY

I lay in my bed staring at the freshly yellow painted walls of my new bedroom. My bedroom, mine. Not the basement I was used to.

Everything was yellow, from the walls to the curtains, right down to the yellow bumblebees decorating my duvet. So much yellow, a colour I'd compare to sunshine and daises, and yet, with yellow blinding my eyes, I couldn't help but feel dull and blue.

The betrayed look that he gave me, the hurt, the pain in his eyes... the imagine was burned into me. I couldn't stop his words from replaying over and over again in my head, spinning my thoughts into overdrive.

How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

I sigh loudly and pull my gaze away from the yellow squishnallows, my eyes dancing to the red numbers on my alarm clock: 12.32AM. There's no way I was getting any sleep tonight.

Slipping from under the warmth of the duvet, I threw on one of my brothers jumpers, which, judging by the cologne, I'm guessing was Callan's. The black sleeves fell down past my hands, with the hem falling just below my knees. It was cosy, comforting, and safe. Like Cal was here, giving me a warm hug.

Opening the closet door as quietly as I could, because it squeaks more than a mouse, I grab my black converse from the shelf before closing the door and exiting my bedroom, stealthily making my way downstairs.

With all of my brothers in bed, the house was quieter than ever, the only sound to be heard being the echoing of the grandfather clock in the kitchen. I don't dwell on how peaceful the silence is, instead, I slip my fluffy sock covered feet into the Chuck Taylor's and head for the entryway.

The door, much like my closet, squeaks as the key is twisted and pulled open. My brothers really need to get some kind of oil on these things, it makes sneaking out so difficult. Praying that the dull thud of the door closing behind me goes unnoticed by my sleeping siblings, I rush down the driveway without looking back.

My feet scrunch as I trip and kick about seven stones, face scrunching to a wince; just waiting for one of the boys to find me. I move quicker, trying to ignore the sound of gravel crunching beneath my weight. I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I need air.

I need to think.

I need to breathe.

Pulling the hood of Callan's jumper over my head to shield me from the wind, I allow my eyes to take in the neighbourhood I've never really looked at before.

The street we live on is pretty small compared to the last, only seven or so houses in a strange looking semi-circle. Everything was white and tidy, gardens filled with flowers and small trees, only adding to the prettiness of the view. The rest of the houses surrounding ours weren't as big, given the fact ours was pretty freaking huge, but it didn't take away from the beauty of it all. These people clearly took care of their things.

Could I call it ours? The house belonged to Zac... not me.

Oh well.

At the end of the street, leading out of the semi-circle of houses, away from our home, I came across as small pathway. Knowing that I really shouldn't be out at this time, let alone following a dark path well after midnight... I didn't allow for those thoughts to stop me from seeing where this trail would lead me to.