Care For Me ✔️

48

TRIGGER WARNING
— please be advised before reading—
this chapter contains detailed descriptions of abuse, rape and sexual assault.

J A C K

The room was warm, but I felt ice cold. Detective Jones beryl gaze pierced through me, and made me feel like a distraught deer caught in the headlights.

Although his eyes were soft, I couldn't help but glare at him. I didn't want to be here. I knew I had to be, that my statement would condemn their fate and, hopefully, send them to prison where they belong.

Detective Jones, or David as he said to call him, tapped his pen against the metal table top. I could tell he was getting impatient, I'd sat here for thirty minutes now and I couldn't find my voice to speak.

Lily was and always has been brave, and strong, and courageous. I'm not, I never have been. I wish I was. I wish I had her strength, her heart, her everything. She was who I strived to be.

Her and him.

I wasn't them. I was weak. A fragile little boy just playing the part of who they wanted me to be.

"Jack," Detective Jones stared at me with those pity filled eyes. "Are you ready?"

I hate pity.

"Yes." The word that left my mouth betrayed my thoughts.

Will I ever be ready?

"We're just going to dive right in, kid. Try and get this over with as quickly as possible." He tried to ease the burden that was stuck to my heart forever. "When did the abuse begin?"

"When did it begin..." I repeated, a snort leaving me. "My birth."

David seemed confused by my answer, not that I blamed him. I, myself, have always been confused by their treatment of me.

"I don't understand, son."

Son.

The one word caused me to flinch. I'm no ones son, never have been. My own parents didn't want me. I was only a son to them to help their true child, I was only a son to them when they used the word to bring pain to my baby sister. Maybe I could've been his parents son, they seemed to care. Maybe if I hadn't hurt him so bad, if I hadn't left...

No, I'm no one's son.

A hand made it's way to my shoulder, grip hard yet trembling, as if to steady me. Turning my head to the left, I met Zac's dark blue gaze. He looked worried and I couldn't bring myself to reassure him of anything different. He should be worried... if he could hear my thoughts, he'd be a whole lot more than worried.

What is my purpose in this life?

The purpose I've had, what I was made for, has already been fulfilled. Lily's safe. She is and will always be the only reason I survived as long as I did, with the help of Ev—him. Her safety finally gives me an out I've been desperate for since the age of five. Zac, Grey and the boys have given me more than my own 'family' ever did. But, do I deserve them?

Do I deserve anyone?

"Neither do I." I vaguely respond.