a new home || sleepyboisinc

- O N E H U N D R E D & F I F T Y T W O -

cw/tw - binge eating

~ tommys pov ~

that food was so much nicer than the hospital food but now that i had eaten, i just wanted to eat even more. i couldn't stop this urge and it needed to be fulfilled instantly.

once everyone had left the dinner table and left the room which took a while because phil was washing up i practically raided the cupboards, i grabbed a ton of fatty foods that i could just eat instantly with no problem.

i didn't even care in that moment if anyone had noticed all the food was gone, i just wanted to eat the food and gain the weight back that i had lost at the hospital. i know lisa hurt me a lot but i still wanted to make her proud of me and eating all this food is the only way.

i head up to my bedroom very slowly as i was still in pain and lay all the snacks on the bed, i knew that if someone came in i could just say i was getting changed which would give me some time to hide the food.

as i get into bed i begin to snack on the food, i eat at the pace i normally do which is quite fast already so i hardly taste the food i was consuming. that was a plus because all these different flavours mixing together of different foods would not taste good.

as i was eating more and more my stomach began to hurt and i began to feel sick but i knew that i couldn't throw it all up now or stop so i continued to eat more and more to the point where i couldn't even move one inch without the urge to throw up.

i wanted to finish the food i had begun eating and almost finished but i just couldn't, it was too much for me so i got all the packets of food and shoved them under my bed so i could eat them another time.

i pulled up my t-shirt and looked at my clearly bloated stomach, it put a smile on my face instantly knowing that i finally wasn't going to be the 'skinny orphan' that people liked to call me. i was finally going to be tough and most of all, make lisa happy.

i know there will be a court appearance at one point in the future and by that time i want to have gained a few pounds when i see her again, i knew that if i had done this for her she would be proud of me.

all i wanted was for her to be proud of me, she called me the worst things and did the worst things imaginable to me but she didn't mean it. she's a nice person and just got angry, she took the anger out on me which is fine for me but to others it's not.

i just wished that i didn't faint that one day because now i've ruined a perfect family. a perfect family that i could've been a part of if i manned up a bit and taken the hits but of course i had to be weak and do that.

AUTHORS NOTE

just wanted to say that if any of you
guys are reading from ukraine or russia
i'm praying for you guys <33

if any of you would like to talk
my dms are always open, i can't
imagine what you guys are going
through and i hope you stay
safe ❤️❤️