Scarred | JJK

59. Buried Past

T/W: substance abuse, assault, mental health issues

"It happened years back when I was in Japan for a summer school program. I was on a scholarship and I was so excited to see people from actual political families attending it. My Dad was reluctant to send me at first, but he gave in when I resorted to my room for three days, not even coming out to eat." Y/N sat cross-legged on the terrace swing, and Jungkook sat right across from her on the jacuzzi stairs.

"I was having fun, being among kids my age, already talking about politics, and like sex, because we were all curious. Because the program hosted all the rich kids in the political sphere, we had every possible facility. And then I made friends with this guy. He was nice, I guess. That's what I thought at first. He was quick at giving answers and flirted casually like it was his job. We started going out, like with our friends. Even in our friend group, everyone knew something was up between him and me. It was not a lot from my end, honestly, I just smiled at his flirtations and joked about." Her eyes were tearing up. Jungkook came to sit beside her and entwined his hand and hers.

She sniffled before continuing, "It was all good, we were having fun, and the program was to end in two weeks. Everyone decided that we had to have alcohol and would be incomplete without it. I was skeptical, I had never seen alcohol up close, and no one in my family drank. That was when he offered me a glass. I accepted it, I was trying to act cool you know. Everyone urged me to down the drink, screaming 'shots!'. And I did." She was shivering now, reliving the past.

"The drink was spiked. I couldn't move my body even if I wanted to. I was aware of what was happening but could do nothing. He touched my lips...and thighs...and-" she was crying now. Regardless, she kept going, it had to be told, "he touched my body and treated me like a ragdoll. He flashed at me, but the drug was wearing off. I tried to defend myself, and he broke a glass bottle on my rib. Shards of glass were buried close to my heart, some not deep enough because my ribcage blocked their path. Seeing the blood, he knew he had made a mistake."

Jungkook held her hand ever so tightly, he wanted to say words of assurance but couldn't.

"I was heavily bruised. My cheek and my shoulder. He had fled away at night. A janitor found me there the next morning. His mother protected him. The hospital staff was made to sign an NDA, and I was told to keep it low, they threatened me with my family's well being, and also threatened to spread the rumour that I had been doing hard drugs. I used to talk to my parents every couple of days, falsely repeating that everything was okay. I did not wake up for the first few days, it was horrible. I had to have a therapist while my physical treatment was still ongoing. The whole program was made to extend by a month so I could recover. My parents did not get to know", she dryly chuckled at the last bit. "I returned home changed. I wasn't my usual upbeat self, I was taking more pills than usual, ones which I took for my iron deficiency and stuff."

There was a moment of silence as she made an effort to recollect everything objectively even though it was fresh in her conscience.

"Another mistake that happened on the doctor's end was that while my therapist prescribed me anti-depressants, my physician prescribed some other drugs which reacted with them. My menstrual health deteriorated. My chances of conceiving are less than thirty per cent. And even though they were able to cover all my scars through aesthetic treatments, they couldn't blur the trauma."

His face was stained with more tears than hers. He was shivering, still trying to hold her as best as possible, but he couldn't stop hurting. This was the single most gruesome thing he had to go through, and he was only just listening to her talk about it. His heart hurt like it would collapse every time he thought about how she had to go through it.

"I tried pretending like it never happened. I tried being my usual self, the one my parents and friends knew. No one around me knew what had happened, and I was conflicted as to whether I should be sad or grateful. I decided I would be neither. I would abandon emotions while pretending that I was enjoying life. I did that. Until something happened earlier this year."

She had met Derek, D. One day, on her walk back home, she came across his sister, her former therapist. She wasn't affiliated with the hospital, she had not signed the NDA. The wheels soon got rolling. Y/N dug deep into the Son family. The elder brother of her perpetrator had impregnated a woman and left her stranded. That was how she found Hana and approached her before joining the company. The documents that Jungkook had submitted on her behalf would never have been enough, she had curated an extensive application on her end. D had tracked that the person she had been talking with was an HYBE employee, he couldn't ascertain who. Thus, seeing Jungkook and Jimin was still very much a shock to her.

"I vowed to destroy the Son family. Son Myung Ju is a criminal, she does not deserve the presidency. She hid all the dirt on her sons and tortured the victims." Y/N clenched her fist in rage.

Suddenly, Jungkook's eyes widened, "Y/N..."

She looked at him. He was shaking. "Oh my god, what have I done...oh my god, Y/N!" He held his head in his hands and pulled at his hair.

"What happened?" she was alarmed now.

Jungkook looked at a distance in terror, "I...I just...That guy. Son Seo Hyuk...he was my classmate."

Y/N looked at him in panic, expecting it to not be her worst imagination coming to life.

"I...helped him get fentanyl."

Her eyes widened way too much for her sockets to contain. "Jungkook...what are you saying?"

He looked at her, terrified, "I helped him get fentanyl...he begged me to get him some. He had said that his friend was undergoing emergency treatment in Japan and he had no one else to reach out to. I remember how desperate he sounded so I...I helped him get it through some connections. And he left the school soon after. I swear I...didn't know."

Y/N was aghast. She was supposed to scream at him, ask him how she could be so careless but that did not even strike her. She held onto him tightly, mumbling, "I will not let anything happen to you. You'll be safe. I love you. Yes, nothing will happen to you. You are safe with me. Yes, I love you." She incoherently rambled as her body shook.

Her shaky hand reached out to her phone and she desperately navigated the phone number. With her voice frail, she spoke into the phone, "D...the documents, do you have them?"

"Y/N, what is up? You don't sound good. Of course, I have them, and so do you."

"Don't...don't send them out. Destroy the files."

His voice was now heavy with worry, "Y/N, what is it? I schedule sent them to all media houses right after your meeting...as we had planned."

Her knees gave in and she fell to the ground.

No no no no no no no...