Running in the dark

Chapter 15

Remus slipped into his own clothes, pulling on a brown sweater and putting on the pair of fluffy socks he had found hanging out of his stocking.

"Remus," someone said knocking on his door before opening it, it was James, a smile on his face, but he was still cautious to not overwhelm Remus.

"Merry Christmas," Remus said he smiled a little his face seeming to find it hard to do for a second.

"Merry Christmas moony, mum and dad are up, Sirius is getting ready now, you gonna come down for breakfast?" James asked and Remus nodded.

"Your as slow as Sirius, you've gotten dressed before you've even touched your stocking," James chuckled and so Remus sat on the floor with James opening the stocking, it was filled with lots of chocolates which pleased him and small gifts.

Sirius finally walked into the room, he had tied his hair into a ponytail and had a black shirt on with black ripped jeans.

"Moony," he smiled pleased to see Remus was up, that Remus didn't look completely broken.

"Hey," Remus hummed, he felt better, but every time someone gave him that pitying look he seemed to feel different, he hadn't cried, he was still numb, and he still hadn't explained anything other than that brief sentence that his father didn't like him, nothing else.

They didn't need to know.

Not yet.

Remus and the other two walked down to breakfast the smell of cookies and toast filling the air. Mrs. Potter always over-did Christmas but no one ever complained.

They are breakfast and Remus ate a slice of toast and a gingerbread biscuit which made Euphemia's smile bigger than it already was.

When they walked into the sitting room it was full. Piled with many presents and cards, it seemed all of Remus's presents were here too.

Fleamont began passing gifts out to each person from the pile. Remus was handed one as James and Sirius were already tearing through there's, he was happy that all his gifts were ordered ones so the shops would use owls to send them, if they weren't he wouldn't have sent them.

The first gift he opened was from the Potters themselves it was a large book on charms, one he had asked Fleamont about for hours once on where to find it as he was friends with the man who wrote it, and with the book was bars of chocolate, they really did know him.

Sirius received lots of gifts too, but half the time he wasn't looking at the gifts he was opening but as Remus who didn't tear through the paper as he and James did but opened it delicately, a small smile on his face at every gift.

Remus received a scarf from Mary, Sweets from Peter, a very interesting burn book from Marlene, cigarette's from Dorcas (he made sure he closed the wrapping back up quickly before anyone else saw them), a moon bracelet from Regulus, and Lily's gift had arrived on time, if it was meant to go to Wales it definitely would have taken an extra day but it was here and it was a locket which when he opened it flashed with different moving pictures, they kept changing but they were of all their friends, but mostly Sirius.

From James he got a quidditch tactics book and chocolates, James told him he'd need it for all the commentary he would still have to do and Sirius got him the most beautiful looking book, it was a dark red cover with thin strips of the color silver on the edges with Remus name written in gold on the front.

"Open it later," Sirius said smiling at him.

Remus thought all his gifts were done until he was passed a last one. It had a card on top with his name written on it in familiar writing, his mother's.

When he saw it he seemed to realize that he was here, but he was numb. He had not cried. His face had new scars and bruises and he was thin, a lot thinner than usual and bruises littered his stomach and legs. He felt himself shake, he could open it, but not yet.

He excused himself to his room saying he would put his present away and he hurried up the stairs, places the gifts on the bed, and went to the bathroom he gripped the edge of the sink and looked up.

His cheeks were hollow, his eyes bore dark circles beneath them. A purple bruise was on his nose and dark red ones were around the rest of his face.

He walked out and then sat on the floor, he looked at the pile of letters and began to read them.  Two from Sirius, Two from James, one from Lily and Mary, one from Peter, and even one from Regulus who would have been rather discreet, while sending it.

He grabbed some parchment, quills, and ink and began to write letters, telling them all that he was alright, most of the letters repeating the same lines.

'I'm alright'

'Something came up

'I'm at the Potters now'

'Thanks for the gift'

He sent them all off with his owl and stood by the open window for a few seconds, gripping the edge so hard he thought it may brake.

"Moony," Sirius's voice said from the other end of the room, it was calm. Remus turned.

"I haven't cried Sirius, I haven't cried, I don't know why, I couldn't sleep but I did that, but I can cry and I just need to cry, it's bloody Christmas right now and all I want to do is cry and I can't, he's stopped me being able to cry," Remus said.

Sirius came over as Remus felt like he might fully crumple into nothingness, and held him, he held him there in his arms in this room, Remus was numb, so bloody numb that he felt sick, but Sirius Black made his heart beat again.