Running in the dark

Chapter 72

Remus did not tell Sirius of this encounter with Pandora, he was sure Sirius would demand the package and open it believing it would be some kind of evidence.

He had a feeling that he had to strictly abide by Pandora's orders so he did, he kept checking the paper but nothing remotely big happened.

He finally did return to the order about a month later and they all welcomed him back with applause, his work was a significant help and Marlene hugged him tightly, he had helped give his family an early warning and most of them had gone into hiding.

But then that faithful day when the paper did say something big came, but Remus didn't read it first.

They were at James' one morning after Sirius and James had had an assignment late the night before and they were talking until an owl cawed from the other room and James left to go see what it had.

There was a scream. It was so earth-shattering that the two forgot to breathe for a few moments. It was one full of pain, torment and sadness and it was James'.

Remus and Sirius ran into the room and found James, he was on his knees, shaking, a newspaper in his hand and they could see the large black ink. 'The Black Heir is dead'.

James let out a tormented sob and Sirius began to shake his head, Remus had paled, this was it, this was what was going to happen.

"No, no, no, no," Sirius began to repeat walking backwards until his back hit a wall. Tears were falling down his face and he was trying to hold it together, they were all crying.

"He's sorry, He's sorry," Remus said repeating Pandora's words and then he was out, running out of the flat and towards his own, he unlocked the door and went and grabbed the package he had hidden under the couch. He stayed on the floor after retrieving it and opening it. Out fell four sealed letters. One with his name on it, another with Sirius', another with James' and the last one with Dorcas'.

He tore his open and immediately recognised Regulus' writing.

Dear Remus,

For a few months, I truly believed I wouldn't be able to write this, I truly believed you were with Voldemort, your acting is rather good.

But I'm happy I can, I'm happy to be able to write and say goodbye to my friend properly and sorry.

I am sorry I didn't stop them, I'm sorry I wasn't there to comfort you properly with your mother's passing, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

I never wanted to be a death eater, I have now discovered a way to end Voldemort but if you are reading this then I am dead and I have left it in the hands of others to pursue my plan.

I would trust you with my life Remus Lupin and thank you for all the memories you've left me with.

R.A.B

Remus didn't know how he could stand after that but he did and he began to make his way back to James and Sirius who were most likely in a distraught and probably confused mess.

...

He was drowning, there was no denying it. He had heard Pandora's scream but it had disappeared as soon as his head had been pulled under by the Inferi. Pandora and Kreacher had the locket that's all that mattered.

But he was drowning.

Not just in the water but in his head, he had to drink that water to retrieve the locket but it had plagued his mind with horrible thoughts, how he had hurt James and Sirius, how he was never good enough, the second choice.

He was drowning.

It was the silence that seemed to calm it, the pounding in his head seemed to cease to exist and only one thing came from his lips as his eyes closed.

"James,"

...

"James, it's alright," Remus said crouching down beside James, he had already managed to get Sirius to a chair and was now hoping to do the same for James, lucking he was able to and he got glasses of water for them both.

"Where did you go?" Sirius mumbled as Remus gave him the glass.

"Pandora came to visit me," he responded and the two turned to him. James' face was red and his eyes were puffy.

"She gave me a package and told me to open it when something big happened in the paper, these were in them," he said and he passed each of them their letters which they opened instantly.

Dear Sirius,

I want to say thank you, thank you for being my brother and keeping me safe as best as you could and for making friends with James and Remus, I owe the time I had with them to you.

I'm sorry for what happened in Knockturn, Pandora has been keeping an eye on you from afar and she was able to tell me you're alright.

I'm not like them, I'm not like mother and father, I don't want Voldemort to win and he must be stopped, you're reading this because I am gone and I am gone because of my attempts to stop him.

Orion is dead, he died not long after Remus left, killed by another death eater over a quarrel.

Thank you for being my brother and for believing in me in times when I couldn't myself.

R.A.B

Sirius was crying again, his brother was dead and he was dead but good. He was never a killer like Sirius thought he was.

Dear James,

You made me smile. You made me laugh. You made me roll my eyes. You made me want to live. Thank you.

I am sorry to leave you like this and I wish it could have been different, but I wouldn't trade all my time with you for anything because I am selfish and that's why I kissed you back on the train because I am selfish and I'll never stop wanting you.

I'm dead but I have left people to carry out my plan, I have died trying to get rid of Voldemort and I hope it goes well, it should go well.

Even though I am selfish I want you to have a happy life James, find love again, and grow old, I want you to live life for me.

I'll love you in this lifetime and into the next.

Forever I am yours,

R.A.B