Running in the dark

Chapter 43

"Remus, there you are, I haven't seen you since Wednesday," Marlene said upon seeing Remus in the common room on Saturday evening, it was quiet and after making sure Sirius was not around Remus let himself sit down and pulled out a book.

The book had been resting on his lap open for the last ten minutes and he'd been trying to read it, but he hadn't even gotten through the first sentence.

"Hey," Remus said looking up, Marlene was walking into the room with Dorcas beside her. She came over and wrapped her arms around him and sat on his lap.

"Are you alright, you look a little sad," she said and then the portrait door opened again and Lily and Mary walked in.

"Remus, heard you were sick, you need to check up on Sirius, he's been mopey," Mary said as she and Lily sat down and Marlene got off his lap and sat down beside Dorcas.

"We broke up," he said softly, but they all heard, they were the only ones in the common room.

"Why?" Dorcas was the first to speak.

Her words echoed and Remus decided to close his book knowing even if he could read it he wouldn't be able to.

"He..." Remus began and he looked at them all, only Lily knew what had happened that day, only she knew what he was, but he looked at Mary who was always kind to him and would study with him at exam times.

He looked at Dorcas who was as sarcastic as he was, who always told him to go with his gut.

He looked at Marlene beside her, who had no filter at all and was crazy sometimes and would occasionally offer to snog him to make their partners confused and jealous, which he still hadn't even agreed to.

He knew then that he had full trust in those three and not being honest with people at this time was something he didn't also want to plague his brain.

"He did a prank on Snape and told him I was a werewolf and Snape ended up getting seriously hurt," Remus said, he heard Lily let out a small noise that sounded like a squeak and he looked at her, she had been surprised by his honesty but her whole face spoke to him, he knew she would be there for him.

"But you're not a werewolf, right, he made that up?" Mary asked, she sounded unsure as she asked him.

"I am since I was five," Remus said. It was silent, and the silence was agonizing.

"You're still Remus though, still Remus who is a bookworm," Marlene then spoke out, he looked at her and she gave him a soft smile.

"That's alright though, I'm cool with it," Dorcas then responded and Remus felt a bit better.

"Yeah you're still Remus, right Lily there's nothing wrong with that," Mary said and nudged Lily.

"I already knew," Lily then said and she smiled at Remus, letting him know that it was going to be ok.

"So you broke up because of a prank, what happened to Snape?" Marlene asked and Remus became plunged back into that thought.

"I ended up hurting him, as a werewolf, I didn't mean that I don't have control over it," he began to splutter, he could feel new tears falling down his face and he focused on his feet.

It all began to tumble out and he told them all what had happened, the news of the breakup was new to Lily, Sirius hadn't told anyone except James.

He was almost sobbing when he finished explaining and began to try and wipe away his tears, then Mary came over and hugged him, and he buried his head in her shoulder and cried. By the time he raised his head, Lily was on his other side on the sofa her hand rubbing his back and Marlene and Dorcas had squished themselves close to him.

"It'll get better," Dorcas said softly but he was rather sure that she was lying even if she didn't know it.

They talked more and by nine at night Remus found himself on the floor smiling at something Lily had just said, Marlene was tying his curls up in a very unflattering way that they stuck up randomly in the air. Then the door swung open and he looked up, Sirius walked in and looked down at Remus, his face seemed to crumple but he didn't walk over but went straight to the dorm, it was the first time they had seen each other since they had broken up, it had gone silent.

"As much as my hair must be looking amazing right now, what are you doing?" He mumbled to Marlene, it was meant to be jokey to try and get himself back in the mood but it didn't work, at least it made them all begin to talk again.

By ten he let out a loud yawn, he looked at the stairs to his dorm and finally decided that he had to go up sooner or later.

"We're here for you alright Remus," Dorcas said and he nodded saying goodnight before walking up the stairs. James was most likely with Regulus and Remus hadn't seen Peter since Thursday morning and he wasn't here so he wasn't completely sure where he was.

Sirius was sitting up in his bed, he had a piece of parchment lent up against a book and a quill in hand, he was frowning at it, unsure of what to write.

He looked up when he saw Remus and felt his heartbeat quicken, which still hadn't gone, he was sure it never would.

Remus looked at him for a few seconds before walking in and grabbing some clothes and then walking into the bathroom and locking the door. He threw water at his face and changed, he could do this, he would just walk back in there and go to sleep.

He opened the door and Sirius looked back up, he was wearing plaid red pyjama bottoms and a black sweatshirt, he didn't acknowledge Sirius but walked to his bed and then closed the hangings and tried to sleep.

Sirius looked back at the letter he had been trying to write for Remus, he couldn't say it, he hoped he could get it down on paper, but it was all too hard.