Running in the dark

Chapter 62

James hadn't been rather talkative, he hadn't responded to anything Peter had said to him from the other side of the door but he listened. He stayed awake and cried a lot, he finally came out of the bathroom in the early hours of the next morning.

Peter was dosing off by the door, his head against the wall, but sat up at the sound of the door opening. Sirius had been in bed and sat up also, his eyes were puffy but he seemed to be taking it better than James.

James soon realised the absence of Remus and remembered the moon. Guilt began to fall on him, with them not with Remus that meant there was a bigger chance of Remus coming back hurt.

He walked over to his bed in silence and could feel the pairs of eyes following him. It was silent, too silent. Even after all those hours alone he still couldn't completely believe that it was true, that Regulus could have done such a thing.

Peter didn't move but ended up falling asleep by the wall. Sirius and James did not sleep and they had a silent but mutual understanding that they were both in the same pain.

When the sun began to rise Sirius snuck over to James' bed. "You ok?" He asked, his voice hoarse and strained a bit.

"No, you?" James replied and found his voice was in a similar position as Sirius'. Sirius shook his head and curled up like a small animal at James' feet.

Sirius only got up again a few hours later to check the map for Remus and then he disappeared without a word.

James sat up when he returned and his face fell. No. Remus walked in on crutches and a new and very noticeable scar was on his face.

"Remus I'm so sorry," James said and it was almost a whisper, talking loudly seemed impossible.

"It's alright," Remus mumbled before moving across the room to his bed, Peter who was now awake gave a look of curiosity to Sirius who just shook his head.

James was full of guilt and confusion, Sirius had seemed to have pulled himself together quite quickly, he was rather sure it was for the sake of Remus which was answered when Lily came in an hour later.

"Oh crap, sorry I shouldn't have burst in, is he asleep?" She asked and she looked over to Remus, who had dosed off a few minutes earlier.

"Yeah, he is," Peter replied, none of them had left the dorm except for Sirius and Remus on the last day and it had been in a large silence only now disturbed by Lily.

"This place is rather glum, it's horrible isn't it?" She said, she was trying to make conversation but seemed to be failing.

"What is?" Peter asked, he was aware James was listening but knew Sirius was currently asleep beside Remus.

"Mrs Lupin? The Prophet? You guys need to read, you have a copy right here," she said and picked up the copy that had been dropped off by an owl through the window and brought it to Peter. She sat on the edge of his bed and watched as he read the article.

"That and the full moon, it's horrible," Lily muttered and she looked to James who was looking at them and her face fell.

"James merlin, are you ok?" She asked, she had never seen James look so ruff, his hair as messy as ever and a mix of sadness and exhaustion on his face.

"What's wrong with Remus's mum?" James asked, ignoring her question.

"His father killed her last night, he's in Azkaban," she responded, she was rather confused by this all.

"Fuck, I didn't know," James said and the guilt became even stronger, he always had a strong urge to help and comfort people but he was being an emotional wreck himself and hadn't even had the energy to ask Remus if he was alright.

"Am I missing something, I mean you didn't know, and you're all looking like shit," Lily asked looking around, James was ruff, Peter was tired, Sirius looked like he was clinging onto Remus for dear life and Remus even in sleep had a frown on his face.

"Regulus is a death eater," Peter finally blurted and the air seemed to thin just by him saying in.

Lily visibly paled. "But he's just a boy," she said softly, even though they were close friends she always say Regulus as a kid, like her younger brother.

"He's grown up enough to make his own decisions, so he made this one," James snapped. He was seething now with anger, he had no real control of himself and it all centred around Regulus.

"Have you seen him," Lily asked and before James could respond Sirius was mumbling from the bed.

"Found the bastard with Remus," he told them which startled the three a bit as they were sure he was still asleep.

"What?" James croaked finding that talking was keeping him from sinking back into his put of despair.

"Bloody acted as nothing had happened, found Remus upset and was with him for hours," he replied now sitting up and began running his hands through Remus' curls.

"What now?" Lily asked, she was a little stunned, she had only come here to check on Remus but now found she was stuck in a whirlpool of disaster.

''He chose his side of the war, let him rot for all I care," Sirius seethed, he had gone bitter.

Remus woke up a half hour later and Lily gave him her condolences and they all talked, just to keep themselves from crying or getting angry or just to get away from their thoughts. Marlene showed up with Mary after a while and they were told about Regulus.

Dorcas was not pleased with all with the news, Regulus was one of her closest friends so she went to rage a bit and then she cried and cried and raged some more once she heard that Barty and Evan had gotten the mark too.

She hated how much she was going to miss them.