Phantoms | jjk.

[45]: Crystal Clear

⚠️[TW]: vaguely suicidal references⚠️

———————-

Your back breached the water.

The initial contact struck you with some moderate pain, but was not enough to make you regret the sudden decision.

No, your whole world had been turned upside down. Some light burning wasn't too much of a bother.

A few seconds later, when most of the bubbles had settled, and you were slowly sinking in the water, you finally felt a passing sense of amity.

You didn't close your eyes, you didn't need to. The stinging didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

This moment was peace.

The light from above the canopy shone right through the water, sending bright beams of warm sunlight all around you like lightning.

The water was crystal-clear.

It felt like you were ascending to heaven for a moment; everything was that clear.

Surprisingly, the rush that came from jumping full-fledged into a pond in which the depth was less than obvious, was indeed enough to invoke you with a sense of peace.

Like mentioned before, you loved danger.

This whole moment felt like a dream.

Your body felt numb, now. Your brain was thinking of nothing, while your mind was thinking about how beautiful your surroundings were—although your lungs were already desperately struggling for air.

The water seemed rainbow, as your eyes were blurry. Beams of purple, blue, some green and even pinks peaked through.

There was something so indescribably harmonious and tranquil about slowly sinking to the pond's floor.

That's it: tranquillity.

Something so very tranquil about letting go of all of the new worries Yoongi had just sprung on you.

It was selfish of him.

Selfish for him to expect that you'd be able to remain normal after that conversation.

How could anyone be expected to handle all this new information about an entire new trajectory of life and so many new things about people you were supposed to trust, who had clearly lied to you, for a long time.

Literally everything about your life had just been written off as a lie, and by a perfect stranger, too. 

You felt that some intermediate drowning was definitely the best way to compose yourself.

The bubbles in the water were glistening, and lessening, your eyes blinked so slowly that they almost didn't reopen.

You felt a deep, deep sense of rage.

But, it was melting away and blending into the water as your consciousness seemed to be doing the same. At this stage, you hadn't started trying to get back to the surface.

You didn't care.

Fuck Chaewon.

Fuck Mom and Dad.

Fuck Jungkook.

Fuck everyone.

Why did you have to get stuck with this ghastly deck of cards? Of all people, why did the great creator decide that you were tough enough for it.