Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.9.

💫ANGEL💫

Watching the video taken of V, serving me like a high-end platter of lust, was fascinating. The commentary by everyone watching was even more interesting. As I stood there, staring at myself and V, I had no complaints. Typical slut on slut behavior was all it appeared to be. That was until my eyes locked in on hers and the camera panned, revealing a very riled up, aroused, beautiful bright blonde. The way her body rose and fell with every deep breath. The way her eyes moaned my name. The way she practically came undone. That was the real show.

"Oh my God. I think sunshine wanted next!" One girl commented.

"He's screwing her with his eyes at this point." Zack suggested as he covered his mouth in awe.

It was easy for me to pay their comments no mind. I found no offense or shame in any of it. That was until I looked over and saw the blood washed from the face of Giselle. She looked mortified. Immediately, I regretted my previous emotions behind it all. If I could take back the part of her being included in my circus, I wouldn't hesitate. But I couldn't take it back. All I could do was stop what was happening.

"That's enough." I grumbled. No one heard me. Finally, I saw her run towards the door. "Come on man, turn that shit off."

A part of me felt at fault for whatever it was Giselle was feeling. I wanted to make it right. I always understood that most situations faced by a male versus a female produced different reactions on each side. Where I was, "the man", V was the "slut", and Giselle was something different altogether. This was based off the same exact footage.

"Hey wait!" I chased behind her, finally catching up. "Don't go full out Cinderella on me." I joked. Once off the stairway and onto the walkway, she stopped. She kept her back turned towards me, not moving, or saying a word. "Hey. I 'm sorry. I know you're probably—"

"What do you know?"

"That you're embarrassed at least." I lowered my head, placing my hands in my pockets. "Humiliated, maybe." Waiting for a response, it didn't take long for me to realize she wasn't going to counter my predictions or even agree. "Look, I don't know what you feel. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and make sure you're ok."

"That was a freakshow. Disgraceful." Finally, she said something.

"It was kind of hot, if you ask me, but I can see where you're going with—"

"Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke?" Turning around, revealing her tearstained cheeks. Her face radiated shame, red and clammy.

"No. I was just being honest. I understand how you feel. I mean...the type of person you are probably wouldn't want to be caught dead in an act like that. I get it. And with a guy like me...or a girl like V?" It felt like the more I talked the bigger the hole I dug myself into, but that didn't stop me. "What's done is done and it's out there no matter what. So, I was just saying...you looked really hot doing it. Whatever it was."

Wiping her tears, laughing a little at my ridiculous recollection of "the brighter side of things", Giselle forced a smile on that little perfect face of hers. She spent the next few minutes just staring at me, smiling from time to time, and I noticed her tears beginning to dry. So, I used my shirt to wipe her face. I was surprised she let me.

"You're kind." Almost in a whisper.

"I'm not." I corrected.

"You don't want to be." She corrected. And she was right.

I didn't want to be kind or nice or caring or anything. I barely wanted to exist most days. But something about her made me forget. Something about her forced a few bricks on my wall to fall down. She was beautiful. She was a breath of fresh air. There was a fearless and free side to her and then there was a quiet and tranquil side. What a perfect balance.