Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.63.

💫ANGEL💫

**2 MONTHS EARLIER**

Vanessa rode back with me from Loki's place. We'd all been smoking all day and she'd just popped an edible in her mouth when I was on my way out of the door. Zack, Sevyn, and Max were all out on the porch. While Loki and Giselle were upstairs, lost in books. My mind was spinning, as nausea got the best of me, and all I wanted was to lay in my own bed and drift off into a world that held no bad memories or vendetta for my sanity.

"Looks like you need yourself a happy ending." V whispered into my ear.

"You would know." I joked, looking her up and down as I licked my lips.

It didn't take long for us to head out and make it back to my place. The entire ride, V's mouth was up and down me, hands all over me, lust smothering me as we rode as fast as I could without getting pulled over. Once we parked, we were both out of the car, rushing into the building, fondling one another in the elevator, and undressing as we burst through the door.

She tried to kiss me a few times, but I'd turn away, finding somewhere else for her lips to land. I didn't have a grain of feelings left for her. I only needed V for a few things: friendship, sex, and weed. Kissing was out of the question, and I reminded her of that every time we were intimate. I should've known she wanted more by that alone.

"You got a rubber?" V was fully naked, ready to straddle me and take my mind off of the craziness of my past; the aches of being ignored by Giselle; the sadness of returning to an empty bed at the end of every night. That's what kept me going back. That's what kept me in a pool of nothingness, using a good woman up for whatever she had.

"Yeah. I—" reaching into my pocket, I found nothing. I tried them all. No rubber. "Hold up." Pushing her from my lap, I made my way to my room, searching every drawer, in the closet. There was nothing. Flopping down onto my bed, I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing with aggravation.

"I mean...I am on the pill, so—" V was standing in the doorway.

"No."

"Angel, we—" Vanessa eased her way through the threshold and I lost it.

"Get the fuck out of here! What are you doing?" Leaping from my bed, I pushed her backwards and we both slammed into the wall across from my door. "My house. My rules. My room's off limits."

"Seems like you have it all figured out." Throwing her hands up as if to give up, V made her way back towards the living room.

"All of what figured out?"

"All these rules to keep people out. No kissing, bedroom's off limits, no raw sex..." She began laughing. "It's like you'll keep me close enough, but just enough to not be too far away."

"You sound stupid."

"And look it." She began looking for her things. "Here I am, giving myself to you, feeding you, nurturing your fucking wounds. Yet, you're all gun hoe for little Miss Sunshine."

"Vanessa."

"What?" Finally looking up at me, she saw the look on my face. She saw the regret and shame.

"I'm—I'm sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have sex tonight. Lets just watch a movie and hang out." 

 "Really?"

"Seriously."

She sighed.

V gave in quickly, putting her clothes back on as I did the same. I made popcorn, and we kicked back on the couch, smoked a joint, and watched a movie. By the end, as the credits rolled, I peeped over in her direction and saw her sleeping. Looking at my phone at the time, I realized it was two in the morning. I could have easily covered her with a blanket and went to my room.

"I know we're not talking to each other after my Halloween confession. But I miss you." I texted Giselle. "You don't have to text back. Just know I'm thinking of you." I turned my phone light off. Leaning my head back, I took a few deep breaths. I knew she'd never text back, and instead of feeling bad about it, It only made me want to call. I would bug her to the end of the world, and I wouldn't regret it or take it back or even feel ashamed. She was the one I wanted laying on my couch, passed out from watching late night movies. Not V.

"V, get up." I shook her gently.

"hmm?" She rose slowly, looking around as though she didn't know where she was.

"You fell asleep."

"Oh. My bad." V looked over at the television, seeing the credits rolling. "Damn." She laughed.

"Yeah. I'm going to bed. Come on. I'll walk you out."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come on." I extended my hand to help her from the couch, but she declined, getting up on her own. Once we made it to the door, she finally turned to face me.

"Sucks that I'm not even good enough to sleep over." And with that, she walked through the door and across to her own.

So see, I had all the chances in the world to realize V's feelings for me. I had all the time in the world to address them, shut them down, or entertain them. Instead, I played with her, leading her own with false hopes and blinding advances. I had known all along, but I was a selfish bastard and I used her until I no longer needed her. I used her until I found exactly what she was looking for, in me, in Giselle. And I knew that if I didn't handle my business the right way, she'd end up hating us both.

***Author's Words****

Look's like Angel should stop worrying about Giselle's shit and get his own affairs in order.

I know a lot is happening all at once, but if we want Angelle to have a great relationship all of the mess has to get cleaned up first, right?

Giselle's P.O.V coming 3/19

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