Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.35.

💫ANGEL💫

NOVEMBERS AT HOME WERE ALWAYS cold and overcrowded. With family coming into town and my parents hosting dinner, we always had more people in my home than I ever cared for. I remember how much Angelina loved having everyone over. She always baked loads of desserts, kept the lemonade pitcher and coffee pot full, and made sure to have a conversation with everyone around. All of that died with her. The last two years around the holidays were quiet. My mother hardly spoke a word to me and my father, no big meal being cooked, no smiling guests to entertain, and I was too high, drunk, and numb to care.

I guess you can say there was an even bigger difference at this point in my life. I was away from home, not able to witness the thick air suffocating my family slowly as we all tried to find our way. Instead, I was in college, finding a better path for myself. One that was evenly lit with a dim light that had the potential to grow brighter as I learned and grew as a person.

"Anybody want more lemonade?" Loki winked, pouring tequila in the pitcher.

"Loki it's not even noon yet and you're drinking?" Giselle laughed, nudging him on his torso.

"What did I tell your little pretty self about minding my business?" Loki playfully picked her up and ran into the living room, tossing her tiny body onto the couch as she giggled like a middle school girl. I couldn't help but laugh at the sound of her enjoying herself. It had been a while since I heard that laugh. Since I was able to witness a genuine smile from her.

Ever since I confessed the bet I'd made, luring Giselle into the most heinous act she'd probably involved herself in, she kept her distance from me. My heart ached from being around her, seemingly so close, all the while being so far away. I would do it all over again, day after day, if that meant I got some piece of her light. I craved it daily; just to hear her voice and see her beautiful face had to be enough. It helped that she wasn't a prude or complete bitch about it. The level of maturity it had to take for her to be kind and cordial was far beyond anything I could achieve. Maybe one day the pettiness in me would die down and I, too, could carry myself that way.

"I'm going to hop in the pool for a swim. You two want to join?" Without waiting on an answer, Loki ripped off his shirt and made his way through the glass doors, disappearing into the brightness of the sun, beaming in from outside.

Giselle was sitting on the coach, scrolling through her phone. I watched her for a while, smoking in the kitchen. Every breath I took felt as if I wasn't taking in enough hair. I could put my hand to my chest and feel my heartbeat, yet it felt as if it wasn't beating enough. The feeling of nausea came over me as my nerves caused my anxiety to increase.

She laughed, still staring down at her phone. I immediately got out of my own head, peering in her direction. Then again, a loud chuckle. I wanted to know what had her laughing so hard. It wasn't until tears formed in her eyes as she balled up and held her stomach, scrunching her face from the pain of the hard laughter she was lost in, that I made my way over to the couch she was sitting on.

"What's so funny?" I let out a slight laugh through my nostrils, smiling along with her.

"Oh my God. Nothing. It's nothing", she managed to get out, waving me away. Her face was the color of sun-ripened tomato, blazing as she rolled in amusement.

"Come on, let me see." I couldn't help but laugh with her. I didn't really need to see what had so amused. Her laughter and enjoyment, of whatever entertainment she'd found in it, was enough to spill over onto me.