Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.65.

💫GISELLE💫

Once I got into the café, almost everyone was seated and talking amongst each other. I thought I could make a quiet entrance, but that was almost impossible after Angel acknowledged my presence. The way he looked at me, like I was still the most perfect human being he'd ever laid eyes on. The way his stare canvased ever fiber of my being. The way love still exuded from him. He didn't see the disaster in me, beating from within, praying for freedom. He just saw the girl he'd fallen in love with. But I felt nothing like her.

Hunger burned the pits of my stomach as though I hadn't had one solid meal. When in fact, I'd been eating all day long. Some call it "eating away my feelings". For the past few days leading up to retuning to class, that's what I'd been doing. I ate every hour, it seemed. Never feeling full or completely satisfied, I just ate and ate. So I shoved fry after fry into my mouth, swallowing down the fears of a world that burned down my own, revealing a new life where the old me couldn't exist. I ate and I ate away the sorrows of loneliness that I'd known my whole life, but didn't necessarily have to know. If only things had gone differently with my real mom. Why'd she let him take me? Didn't she know how incapable he was of loving me? Didn't she care at all? Or was this Gabriele better than me? Was she more deserving of a loving mother and upbringing accustomed to the affectionate compassions of a loving parent?

When Angel offered to "get out of there", I couldn't have asked for anything better. Between the irrelevant conversations and the ugly stares and eye rolling from V, I couldn't take much more of being at that table. He must've thought I missed the entire circus of him turning down V's effort to plop her ass on his lap. He must've thought he'd avoided my acknowledgement of his old fling trying to keep things going. Had he not told her yet? As badly as I wanted to intervene, I left it alone, taking his hand as he led me away from his mistakes.

At his place, as we were getting ready to make our way out to get drinks and snacks for our "party", as I called it, V knocks on the door unexpectedly. Or at least, I didn't expect it. But the look on her face let me know that this was something she was use to doing, barging in at any hour, gracing Angel with her presence.

"Hey, V. What's up?"

"Didn't know you were here." V smiled a half smile, turning one side of her lip upward in a forced and awkward way.

"Surprise." I grinned; arms extended exaggeratedly. "What brings you by?"

Even though, I knew it wasn't my place. I was just on the brink of telling her what needed to be said, when Angel returned to the living room. I never took him as a coward, letting her down easily by beating around the bush instead of being straight forward. So, when she offered to come back later, I let her know just how much her presence was no longer needed. I loved V, don't get me wrong, and I've always accepted the shit they had going because I had no right to do otherwise. But one thing I was not going to do was share someone I aimed for exclusivity with. There was no way I was going to let this go on any longer now that Angel and I were on a road to actually being together. So I said what needed to be said.

"Yeah. I'm staying over. I'll make sure he's fed."

"Okay?" A frown revealed her true feelings.

"Is that okay?" I asked, blinking a few times to display my own attitude.

"Yeah. I mean.... it's not like he and I were a thing." She snickered. "We were merely, fucking." Her eyes met with his, so I turned to face him.

"He'll be fine in that department too. V, I love you. I do. But..."

"Giselle, go wait in the car." Finally, the zombie in the living room spoke, and his tone was firm, demanding even. "Go ahead." Never taking his eyes from me, he stood there, waiting. So, like always, I did as he asked.

When I started the car, the roar and rumble from the engine of his beautiful antique stirred something in me like never before. Maybe it was the glare of the moon that bounced off it's shiny red paint. Or maybe it was the smoothness of the stirring wheel, the way it fit so perfectly between my grasp. I remember thinking, this is sexy. No wonder he loved this damn car so much. But sitting there, buried beneath the red paint and thunderous motor, I couldn't help but grow angsty. What were they talking about? Was he being an idiot, continuing to lead her on or was he telling her what it was and how things had to be? I should've stayed so I could know, for my own selfish reasons, how things turned out.

"Ready?" His voice startled me. "Damn. You good?"

"Yeah." A lie.

"Cool. Come on."

"What did you tell her?"

"Hmm?"

Taking my hands from the steering wheel, I turned to face him. His face at ease, his body relaxed, he seemed calm.

"What did you say to her?"

"We're all good. I did what needed to be done."

"Angel."

"I told her that you and I are together and that what we were doing couldn't continue."

"Okay?"

"Cool. Drive." Angel began putting on his seatbelt, but me, I couldn't focus on anything else.

"What'd she say?"

"Nothing. She's cool with it."

"Really?"

"Yup. So now you'll be cooking my dinner and sucking my dick every night, right?" Laughing, Angel reached out towards me, attempting to tickle me. Once he realized the spot he chose wasn't one that I was sensitive on, he switched it up, placing his hands on my stomach.

"Giselle, what the fuck?

***Author's Words****

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