Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.76.

💫ANGEL💫

THE MORNING AFTER our wild, crazy, nothing less than spectacular night, the sun peeked in through the small open spaces in the curtain. There were lines of light beaming down on Giselle as she lay there, peacefully. For a while, I watched her silently, admiring every feature, memorized by every perfected flaw of who she was. I couldn't help but recount the dirty deeds of the night before. I couldn't help but analyze every move she and I made, every moment of certainty. I had the time of my life, and I was almost one hundred percent certain that she did as well. But why? Why, out of all the ideas or 'plans', as she would say, would she choose to have a threesome with someone who she felt was a threat to what we had?

That was the number one question that embedded itself inside my conscience. And so, there I was, at six o'clock in the morning, studying my baby and wondering what the hell was on her mind. What was she dreaming of, as her chest rose and fell at a slow and steady pace, heart rate low and even? Did this "plan" she set into motion work? Was she satisfied? Did I appeal to her expectations? And what about V? How did she feel about it all? It never dawned on me that she left angry and hurt. At least, not until I received a text message, while laying next to the girl of my dreams.

"You up?" her initial text read. I responded with a simple, "yeah". Not even two seconds later, a paragraph that she had to have sat up for a while composing came in. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for everything. I didn't intend for things to go the way they did last night. I know that you are in love with her. I know that you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the love she has for you. I see it in everything you do. The way you look at her, smile when you think of her, talk to or about her. All the times we fooled around, you always made sure to use protection. I know that's normal, so I never trip. But outside of last night, even when you fucked her on Loki's countertop, you didn't use anything. Didn't deny her the pleasure of being underneath you because of it either. Not like you do me. as if I'm too dirty or not worthy. She walked freely into your room, she spent the night with you, she didn't have to ask to use your restroom or your shower. Those little things don't seem like much, but when it comes to you, it's a lot. But, naturally, you opened up a door for her that you have never even left cracked for me. Last night opened my eyes to that. Angel, I know I started this fling off with no strings, but I did grow feelings for you. In fact, I'm sure that I love you with all of my heart. But I know that it's not right and I will just hang back and be the friend that you need me to be. I've been immature. I've been a bitch. And I'm sorry. I love you, Angel. See you around."

I didn't know what to say back, so I said nothing. Not one single fucking word. Reading and rereading that text had to have been damaging to my heart. Even though I didn't want anything further from Vanessa than what we already had, I felt bad. Had I led her on? Had I also participated in things that caused this confusing rift between us? I hadn't the slightest idea.

"Rise and shine." Giselle whispered into the morning air.

"I've been up a while." I continued looking up at the ceiling, unable to completely remove myself from the daze I'd fallen into.

"You okay?" Her hand rested on my chest, waiting.

"I'm good."

"Angel."

"Yes, baby?" Finally, I turned to face her.

"I had  fun last night." She smiled.

"I'm glad you did."

"Did you?"

"Of course. You were on a whole new level of naughty."

We laughed simultaneously, then I stopped to bring more seriousness to the conversation.