Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.22.

💫ANGEL💫

Caught up in a web of emotions, I struggled to break myself free. The more I tossed and turned, the more entangled I became, sticking to the net that imprisoned me. I was as vulnerable as the prey on a spider's web. I knew it was only a matter of time before she would realize she'd capture me and rush in to sink her venomous fangs into my flesh. How convenient she would find it, paralyzing my body and mind, while she decided on the moment she would devour me. How had I become so accessible?

"I'll let you get dressed." Murmuring the simple words that I watched cut her even deeper.

"Wait." She grabbed my arm as I passed. We stood face to face in this tiny bathroom like two enemies having a standoff. She looked into my marble-like eyes, dark, shiny, multi-dimensionally revealing how much I wanted her, but didn't, but needed to run away, but couldn't. "Kiss me. One last time. Just kiss m—"

Bemusing her even further, each corner of my mouth ran in opposite directions and those marbles that once seemed to reveal the most undecisive man I'd been, were as clear as a sunny day in the middle of summer, screaming "I want you too".

I warped my lips around hers, sucking in harshly, as I took a deep breath. Giselle didn't breathe at all. I could feel her heart in her throat. When I drove my tongue into her mouth, it swarmed like a hungry serpent, launching itself out of hiding and desperate for a meal. The world around us spinning, she reached back and caught the corner of the sink. That's when I pulled away.

"We can't fuck this up. Please, don't fall for me." The huskiness of my tone returned. Still in my towel, I walked out of the bathroom and into my room, slamming the door behind me.

I could hear her breathing loudly and laughing to herself. Crashing into my bed, I buried my face into the sheets, wanting to scream for help, but afraid to make a peep. Shortly after calming myself, subconsciously giving myself a peptalk, my phone started going off. We're about two hours away. Lee texted. Wait, we? I jumped up. We were supposed to go to the mall first. I didn't want to ruin the plans we made, so I quickly threw on a shirt and jeans, hopped into my sneakers, and swung open my bedroom door. The hallway smelled as loud as the perfume store in the mall where all the ladies lined up for three for thirty and buy one get one free sales. Don't get me wrong, it was a delicious fragrance, but I wasn't used to my house smelling that way.

Walking into the living room, I found Giselle sitting on my couch wearing a tight little outfit that hugged every inch of her body. I sucked in the air around me, trying to convince myself I had the will to fight off the urge to devour her. Needing to feel in control again, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a container filled pre rolled blunts. Taking one out, I lit it and immediately took drag after drag until my body began to go numb.

"You ready?"

"Yes." She was so sweet. I didn't deserve a girl like her. I watched her stand, rub in the excess oil on her legs, and head for the door.

I raced behind her, grabbing my phone so I could order an Uber. It took about three minutes for our ride to pull up to the curb. I opened the door for Giselle to get in. Then, followed behind her. The ride to the mall was silent. Wishing I could read into her thoughts, I scrolled pointlessly through my social media feed. Nothing important or more interesting than the blond sitting beside me. Nothing more troubling than the battle in my head, that I was painstakingly losing.

We walked around, window shopping mostly. Giselle stopped in a few stores and picked up more tiny clothing. I shook my head every time she lifted those rags from the rack, turning it forward, backward, and sideways as if more fabric would magically appear. Laughing inside, I couldn't imagine her being my girlfriend and going back and forth about putting on more and covering up more. It would be a never-ending dilemma.